More On The Massive Bank Bailout, Fact-Checking The Candidates On Economics, Meet Jill Biden, And Women Voters

Hi everybody. As per usual, we're beginning tonight with BREAKING NEWS involving the nation's financial health. It probably goes without saying, but at this point, we're on life support. According to the chyron, the Bush Administration is seeking new powers to take over bad mortgages. I have to say, the phrases "Bush Administration" and "new powers" together in the same sentence sends a pretty big chill up my spine. Ali Velshi, who deserves his own 360 locker at this point, bottomlines it for us: the financial big wigs, who hopefully know what they're doing, are going to try to figure out where all the bad debt is and then clean it up all at once. Although as Ali notes, even doing that won't get us out of the woods. So, yay?

For more discussion of this, we're joined by Peter Schiff, financial adviser to Ron Paul, and John Fund of The Wall Street Journal. Interesting booking there. I just watched John on Real Time with Bill Maher last week and even Bill, who usually bends over backwards for his outnumbered conservative guests, couldn't stomach the unbelievable lying from this guy. Let's just say I'm not a Fund fan. Anyway, Peter is not happy about this bailout. Really? The Ron Paul guy is not happy about more intrusion from the government? I'm shocked! Shocked, I tell you! At least he's not going on about Anderson Cooper being CIA. John thinks the bailout is a necessary evil. I do not like it when I agree with conservative liar guy. It makes me feel icky.

Anderson notes that the Homeland Security Department (a massive sham!) was created during a crisis--though the parenthetical is strictly my opinion and not mention by him. The point here being, uh, should we be making big decisions in a political crisis? Peter brings up the fact that the government loves crises because they get more power and then never cede that power when the turmoil is over. Word to that. Can you say Patriot Act? Peter also notes that basically our whole economy is massively injured and the proposals are nothing but a band-aid. Anderson piggy-backs on this, bringing up all the money we're borrowing from overseas. John then makes the laughable statement that we are not in a recession. Oh, dude. "There is nobody who is left in America who believes that," says Ali. Seriously, just because a guy's from the Wall Street Journal doesn't mean he has the slightest bit of intelligence to bring to the table. Paul Krugman wanted. Just saying.

Transitioning now to Anderson telling us that today is International Talk Like a Pirate Day. Dammit, I forgot! I could have been talking like a pirate this whole time. Arrgh! And yeah, I have no idea why he's telling us this. Also? Erica Hill has the night off, so it's Floor Crew Friday when it comes to the webcast. I have to say, it took me pretty much the whole hour to figure out that he had said "Floor Crew Friday," and not something in another language. Even the transcript was apparently confused, simply going with "inaudible." Anyhoo, I'll tackle more of the webcast stuff further on in the hour, but I will say right now that fun was had.

We move on to a piece from Dana Bash on the candidates . . . and I am so burned out on this stuff. So, let's move on further, shall we? From here we go to Tom Foreman live, giving us a semi fact-check on how the candidate's plans will effect the economy. I threw a "semi" in front there because it's pretty broad. Bottom line? Both candidates are most likely going to hike up the deficit because they want to cut taxes while increasing services. That doesn't mean they're the same though, people. Pay attention to who benefits from those cuts and services. Afterwards, Anderson notes that, "for all the talk over the last couple years of Republicans cutting the size of government, we have a huge government, probably bigger than ever before." Word. Party of small government my ass.

On now to discussion with Ed Rollins, Hilary Rosen, and Candy Crowley. Of note here is Ed saying he's scared about the government rushing this bailout deal through. I'm with Ed. That doesn't happen often. The topic then changes to the election and Anderson notes that Missouri is leaning McCain now. I cry sad tears and also try to ignore Candy's pronunciation.

Moving on to a David Mattingly piece on Jill Biden. Last night we learned about shadow governor Todd Palin, so now it's Jill's turn. But she's not nearly as nightmare inducing. In fact, she teaches at a community college. And . . . that's really all I need to know. Seriously, I don't want their life story; I want health care and the end to the war.

Next up, we have an Erica Hill piece on women voters. I bet you thought we were finally done with all that demographic crap, didn't you? Wrong! So okay, apparently according to some poll or study or something, 20 percent of women could still change their mind on their vote. The GOP was hoping to get more women with the addition of Sarah Palin, but it's not clear that's going to come to fruition. And major women's groups like NOW are endorsing Obama. Because they're not distracted by shiny things. After Erica's piece, there's more discussion, but nothing really of note.

Okay, on to the webcast stuff now, which they just ran on the show, so again, I don't get the motivation for watching online. But whatevv. It's all good because it's Floor Crew Friday, meaning tonight's webcast MC is the awesome Kevin, who sporadically leaves his floor directing position to grace us with his presence in front of the camera. Kevin likes nicknames, and he starts right off on Anderson, dropping the "gun metal grey" and "silver fox," as well as implores our anchor to "show em the guns!" Yes, Anderson, show us! Ha! This guy speaks my language--he's a keeper.

Kevin then takes us on a little behind-the-scenes tour, where we are introduced to a bevy of nicknamed characters. There's Angry, Bob the Bus, birthday boy Tone Dog, Joe "Nookie" Chinooky, and Eddie the Finger. It's like the mob, except with technical equipment and snark. I think my favorite is "Nookie" who according to Kevin, is "pulling on his cable" and he means that "in the best possible way." Bwah! Oh my. That almost had me spitting water on my computer screen. Do we need a rating on this webcast? Anderson got a kick out of that line as well. Speaking of Anderson, we also learn that the silver fox is not, I repeat not, the new Oprah. Also? Kevin is totally gonna party it up at Anderson's pad this weekend. Tis true. They terrorist fist-bumped on it and everything.

"The Shot" tonight is an interesting little 911 call placed by a Special Agent from the air conditioner unit of a museum. Wha? The fact that this guy then claimed to work for the United States Illuminati Order might clear things up a bit. See, the dude had to break into the museum to disarm a nuclear device, which was inside a sculpture of a blue plastic cow. Man, I hate it when terrorists hide nuclear bombs in cow sculptures. Surprisingly, blue cow did not go kaboom, even after Special Agent dude experienced mission failure by getting stuck in the ventilation system. Now he's getting charged with burglary. And you just know that's going to make him miss his next 9-11 Truth meeting.

The show was actually pretty boring tonight, save the very fun webcast. The business stuff was of course very important and relevant, but the other stuff? Meh. But wow, Anderson apparently ate his blogging Wheaties or something. Granted he still only left a handful of comments, but he said more than "good evening," so I say good for that. Of course, I've always been one that thought the live-blogging was too much to ask of him anyway. Aw, we know our silver fox is anti-social and we're okay with it. Well, some of us are okay with it. Anyhoo, I'm not going to get off the "where is the Hurricane Ike coverage" train. But I'm very happy to report that somebody is getting with the program. Brian Williams will be taking Nightly News to Galveston next week. Hooray! Ball's in your court, CNN.