Haiti Six Months Later (Day 2)

Hi everyone. Teams 360 and Gupta again come at us live from Haiti for another night of stellar coverage. I'm hoping more people tuned in this time. Because last night? Not so much. *Sigh* I think I made an actual audible sad noise when I read those ratings. To me, this a three-fold bummer: 1) The coverage is important and people need to be watching. 2) Good ratings mean a better chance of getting to go back or staying longer. 3) They deserve to be acknowledged for a job well done.

An equally disappointed friend of mine made an excellent--though cutting--point: "How are viewers supposed to know the show is suddenly good?" Despite 360's recent slightly stale broadcasts on the BP oil disaster, I'd actually argue much of that coverage has been solid, but overall quality consistency still seems to be their mortal enemy. Promotion only goes so far. They need to expand their base viewership, and they're never going to do that with such fluctuations in quality and content. I'm sure I can guess some of what they'd say to that, but I'm getting off track here. Que sera, sera, right? Ratings don't diminish their dedication to Haiti, and for that we should all be thankful. Now, about those bullet points...

• The broadcast begins with Anderson Cooper at the live shot in Port-au-Prince, giving us a recap of all the goings-on. His piece on Haiti's rubble/debris problem is below. Randy Perkins of Haiti Recovery Group reports that he's ready to go with heavy equipment, but has been unable to get a contract to begin clearing. As always, there's is no coordination plan.

• After his piece, Anderson talked with Sanjay Gupta and we learned more about the customs tax debacle mentioned last night. This may be neither here nor there, but I like that their conversations always sound natural. You know how news people sometimes act dumb and ask questions of each other for the benefit of the viewer, which then sound really fake? I hate that.

• After watching Sanjay's piece, I've come to the conclusion that CNN should be required by law to provide their viewers with stress balls. You know, those ones that you squeeze? Because good lord! Those poor kids in that orphanage (including a two-year-old who doesn't even have a name) are practically starving to death and food has been just sitting for months in a warehouse right down the road, undistributed. I understand bureaucracy, but that's just unconscionable. How many more starving Haitian orphans are out there who weren't lucky enough to be touched by the well-connectedness of a famous journalist/neurosurgeon?

• It's easy to see how navigating the NGO world can be difficult. I had a tough time just getting a handle on the organizations in Sanjay's piece, which led to some information-gathering post-show tweeting. When first learning about the bare cupboards, the good doctor called his contact Eric Klein of can-do.org (follow them on Twitter where they have pics of Sanjay-->candoorg), who ultimately helped them out. The photographs in the piece were taken by a contact of Eric's, Adam Marlatt of Global DIRT: Disaster Immediate Response Team, which actually sounds like a pretty cool organization. Adam, together with his fellow marine Robert Sullivan, founded Global DIRT shortly following the Haiti earthquake. You can follow them on Twitter here-->globalDIRT, an account which is run by representative Kim Driscoll. My friend Lauren did an interview with Kim about the organization back in April, which is an excellent read. Finally, check out their blog post related to Sanjay's piece.
  

• Anderson: "Again, a two-year-old who doesn't have a name, I mean, it's just...," *speechlessness* Exactly.

• All of that is below. Supposedly Sanjay and his producer Danielle Dellorto were on Backstory today. Another reason I wish I had CNNi. There's a possibility they'll get around to putting up the video at some point. I'll try to post it later. Someone remind me!
  

• It's good to hear Bea is doing well--as well as she can given the circumstances anyway.

• From Joe Johns we learned the disappointing news that we are a deadbeat donor! Haiti should totally call us up during dinner time to demand their money (the U.S. has pledged $1.15 billion and delivered zippo). Bureaucracy, excuses, bureaucracy, excuses. The shamefulness can be viewed below.

• Ivan Watson actually got a piece in the broadcast tonight, the focus being Camp Corail, which was built 10 miles outside of Port-au-Prince in the hopes of moving people out of the city. How's it going? Things could definitely be better.

• Randi Kaye popped in for our nightly oil disaster update. Still optimistic murmurings from BP, but nothing really tangible. I love that Anderson went on a mini transparency rant. You weren't expecting BP bitch-slapping while we were in Haiti, were you? Our anchor apparently has outrage reserves, yo!

• Gary Tuchman accompanied the International Rescue Committee on their quest to find the father of four-year-old Jean. The boy lost his mother in the earthquake, and now no one knows if he's a true orphan or is merely separated from his family. His story unfortunately is not unique, and sadly does not end happily--or at least not yet. And yes, I laughed at Gary's, "Do you like girls?" question, mostly because the editing made it seem like it came out of nowhere. Too cute.

• My boys (Anderson, Sanjay, Gary, and Ivan) returned with their panel! Except, they called it a "reporter roundtable." There's not actually a table, but then again, they're also not actually "my" boys. So who am I to quibble? Anyway! Remember when Gary went to that nursing home and it was just so awfully, awfully sad that you wanted to cry? Well, he went back and things are better now. So yay! Ivan then talks to us about camps and Sanjay tackles the organization problems.

• Anderson: "They need really smart guys from Google to just, you know, spend a few days coming up with some sort of a program or come down here for a few days and just figure out a way to collate all this information." Get on that, Google guys! You're taking over the world anyway.

• I think Gary was going to say something more, but our anchor's like, you snooze, you lose. It's not polite to monopolize "share time," Anderson. Aw, I kid because I love.

• The broadcast was very good. I'm sad they only got two days. I guess it's back to the oil disaster tomorrow--also an important story. Anyway, this bullet point contains a shout out to 1213PJ. I don't know who this person is or why they have been dutifully uploading the broadcast every night, but they are awesome and I am thankful.
  

Haiti Six Months Later

Hi everyone. Six months ago an earthquake devastated Haiti. Tonight the 360 kids return to Port-au-Prince to see where the country stands. I've heard Anderson Cooper say more than once previously that he's not one for marking anniversaries, but in the news business, I suppose you take every coverage opportunity you can get. As I noted in January, "significant milestones will bring network coverage." Here we are. To 360's credit, they did a really nice job with keeping on the story for a quite a while. Then? Not so much. The oil disaster happened, and as per usual, they had trouble walking and chewing gum at the same time. I mean, Gary Tuchman was there and we didn't get any coverage. But this is just a little recap of where we've been story-wise. I'm grateful they went back and admire the dedication. So! Let's get on with the bullet points, shall we?

• Anderson Cooper began the show in complete bogglement that customs made them pay taxes on relief supplies they had been asked to bring in with them. This confused me. I mean, obviously, yes, this is an outrage. But we knew this, didn't we? I would understand if the issue was that it's still happening six months later. That's not the vibe I was getting from Anderson though. He clearly seemed to be relaying that this was something new to him. I guess it's possible that it was news to him, since he was not there when it was reported on his show by Soledad O'Brien. Still. Maybe there's a nuance here that I'm not getting. Or maybe our anchor just likes to be perpetually shocked.

• Anderson: "There are more than 1.6 million people still living in camps, like the one behind me, the one that sprouted up six months ago tonight. Those people are all still there. I recognize many of them that we talked to six months ago." That's crazy that he recognizes them. It's like time stands still in Haiti.

• The funny is really hard to find for you people during these broadcasts, but there was a slight chuckle-worthy moment in our anchor's piece when he showed us the the inside of a living structure. "What you don't see on video is just how incredibly hot it is in here," he says, and perhaps thinking this needs some sort of demonstration, wipes his face. Yeah, okay, that's not really funny. I got nothing! The first block of the show is below, including Anderson's piece.
  

• Our anchor talked live with Sean Penn, who continues to be awesome. I know I've been pretty outspoken regarding 360's now comical level of celebrity obsession as of late, but I don't even consider Penn a celeb. He's the real deal. His organization, beattherain.org, has just begun using heavy equipment to clear debris. Penn hits on a several topics, though coordination seems to be one of his primary concerns. He tells us that General Hospital and NGOs don't even know where to get blood. Insanity. Watch the interview below.
  

• Sanjay Gupta's piece was heart-breaking. That poor little girl with hydrocephalus. Gah, 360 why must you show me kids who are going to die? (But the situation needs to be seen.) So, so sad. The fact that hospitals are closing down due to lack of money is outrageous. Hopefully the attention all this "six month" coverage brings can maybe do at least a little good on that front. Maybe. Also? Run, Sanjay, run! Just watch:

• We got an update from Gary Tuchman on little Jenna who has been living with her mother Elizabeth Dowling in Colorado. Things have been a bit rocky. Apparently, Jenna and other former orphans like her are now beginning to act out. Seems like it would be natural, then again, Gary's piece about the Ranch for Kids comes to mind as well (though I think fetal alcohol syndrome might have been more a factor there). Let's hope the kids work though it soon. You can read more about this story from producer Justine Redman, and the video is below.
  

• Randi Kaye pops in to give us some potentially really good news about the oil disaster. They put a new cap on, and though the oil still flows, they hope it will eventually be fully contained. Now, this is BP saying this, so call me cynical, but I'm waiting until I see an improvement with my own eyes before I celebrate.

• Anderson interviewed Bill Clinton, co-chair of the Interim Haiti Reconstruction Commission, and, uh, our former president. They talk money, NGOs, and reconstruction.
  

• The broadcast wraps up with a group I have been referring to as "my boys"--Anderson, Gary, Sanjay, and Ivan Watson--talking about what they've seen and how things have changed. Seriously, save the behind-the-sceners--you're pretty much looking at the only reasons I watch CNN at this point. (The network has great international reporters, but I never see them on CNN Domestic, so they're pretty much moot.) Also? As one of my friends noted while watching this segment with me, they could so totally do a calender. For charity, boys! One more bit of irrelevancy: was I the only one wondering about the person (who appeared to be) on the ground holding the microphone and whether or not their arm was getting tired? Just me then? Okay. Despite my total non serious blogging of this segment, I do find all of the perspectives useful in getting a fuller understanding of the overall story. Wasn't trying to belittle. Watch it below:

• Also, watch this report from Ivan (about Michel Corvil, the man he just talked about), who got very little love tonight when it came to getting his stuff on air.

• The broadcast was good. I'm very glad they came back.
  

Eric Massa: Tickle-Fighter Extraordinaire, Prius On The Loose, More From Hollenbeck, Dating Game MURDER (!!!), & Controversy Over A Haitian Baby

Hi everyone. We begin tonight with the story of one Mr. Eric Massa, a now former congressman, who despite me not knowing much about him before today, has managed to provide at least a week's worth of giggles. Says our anchor: "First up, think of all the ways that politicians get into trouble. There's taking bribes. There's drunk driving. There's infidelity. You can run the list. Rack your brain. Go ahead. But chances are, you will never, ever come up with tickle fights. That's right, tickle fights." You underestimate me, Anderson Cooper!

In fairness, I think Larry "wide stance" Craig set the bar pretty high for congressional kink. Anyway! This leads us into a Joe Johns piece on why Massa gave his resignation. Turns out, you can take your pick because the former congressman has given us several reasons to choose from. First, there's the classic health issue excuse. Then he admitted to ethics violations, and finally, accused Democrats of pushing him out over health care reform.

There's actually a whole mess of awesomesauce here. Earlier today, I happened to glance at my Twitter feed and saw people were going nuts about something related to this Massa character and Glenn Beck. Apparently, Beck had the former congressman on his show for the hour because he thought he was going to trash the Democrats over health care reform. That is soo not what happened. You all know I don't actually watch that show because to do so would make flowers wilt and puppies cry, but I did read this article; call it cliff notes if you will.

If I may, a dramatic interpretation of the broadcast: Beck is all, "Hey there Eric Massa, thank you for coming on the show. Please kindly spill all of the Democratic health care reform secrets so that I may imply someone is Hitler and then have a good cry." And then Massa was like, "That sounds like fun, but you know what be even more fun? How about I talk to you about how I groped a male staffer this one time and, oh, would you like to see photos of my tickle fights? Because I have some right here."

At this point, Beck realizes he has made a grave miscalculation, and when GLENN BECK is your conductor on the way to Sanity Town, you know the shit is going down. Oh that's right, we've got some rated R-ness going on up in here tonight. I can't help myself due to the extreme stone-cold WTFery. To be clear, the Beck interview was mentioned in the piece, though I've, uh, further explored it here. But what is up with leaving out the naked Rahm Emanuel anecdote? Naked Rahm should never go unmentioned. Also? The look on Anderson's face after this piece made me laugh out loud. He is so loving this story.

For discussion of the crazy, we're joined by David Gergen and Arianna Huffington. The Gerg is totally your dad is this situation. All the kids are tee-heeing over tickle fights, while he's metaphorically rolling his eyes over the ridiculousness of it all and sternly reminding us that the real story is Massa's accusation that the Democrats forced him out of Congress (a charge he later admitted wasn't true). Despite being a buzz kill, The Gerg is right. I mean, hells yeah, I had fun blogging it, but in the grand scheme of things this story really isn't important at all. It's barely even a story, save the titillating details.

Arianna notes that to his credit, Beck apologized to his viewers for wasting their time. And from Anderson: "I think Glenn Beck is an enormous talent in what he does, but he clearly seemed to be kind of clutching at straws at some points today." Just today? Also, pssst, he's not on your network anymore--you don't have to say nice things. Maybe our anchor means Beck is an enormous talent at being a paranoid moron, which in that case, yes, agreed. The segment ends with the panel talking about tickle fights. Yes, this really happened.

Transitioning now to a Ted Rowlands piece on a runaway Toyota Prius. Jim Sikes was driving in San Diego County when suddenly the accelerator of his car took on a life of its own, and in turn took Jim for a terrifying joy ride. He was able to call 911 and we hear the tape played. Pretty scary stuff, though it was quite amusing to me that the interview was done in Jim's car with Ted sitting behind him in the backseat. Oh News, you're so adorably mock-worthy sometimes.

Moving on to Anderson telling us that Letterman blackmailer Robert Joe Halderman pleaded guilty to extortion and was sentenced to six months in jail. Jeffrey Toobin joins us for the legal lowdown, but I'm sorta over this story. However, of note is a nice montage of clips of Halderman's past statements.

Next up, we have a Homicide in Hollenbeck piece from Anderson. Tonight we are updated on the case of two brothers, Ronald and Angel Brock, both victims of gang violence. Ronald wasn't a banger; he was a marine set to deploy when he was killed at his home at only 19-years-old. It's believed that Angel, the actual gang member, was the target. Angel himself was then killed only seven months later. Neither case has been solved. No one is willing to come forward. Right before Ronald died, he learned his girlfriend was pregnant. His daughter is now seven, robbed of the chance to ever know the father who had his sights set on something higher than life in a gang.

Of particular note in this piece was the mention of Bobby Singleton, a homeless man brutally murdered in order to prevent him from testifying in a gang case, and to no doubt send a message to others who might be thinking of doing the same. Didn't just yesterday Anderson report that the police said there were barely any incidents of violence against witnesses? To be fair, he did note the officer had said there was one--maybe this was it. Still feel like I'm getting a mixed message though.

Moving on now to a Tom Foreman piece about a serial killer and the television show The Dating Game. It seems that in between his raping and killing, Rodney Alcala also took a little time off to appear on the 1970's show. Besides the fact that the killer has just been sentenced to death for his crimes, there's really not much here. Not exactly the kind of report I want to see on my news broadcast, but with that creepy TV contestant/serial killer combination, I suppose they couldn't pass it up. The chyron possibilities alone probably got them excited: Dating Game Serial Killer.

But things really go off the wheels after the piece when Anderson actually "digs deeper" with serial killer dude's fellow Dating Game contestant, Jed Mills. It's one of those, "are they kidding?" moments. Was his childhood neighbor not available? No, 360. Just no. There are some bookings that just shouldn't be done. It's still no where near as bad as when they booked a former pimp though. So there's that.

Moving on to an Elizabeth Cohen piece on a Haitian baby girl that was found in the arms of a dead woman post-quake. It was believed she was an orphan and she was near death, so she was stabilized and then transported to the states for care. She had been given the name Patricia by a driver, but a couple back in Haiti came forward to say that the baby was actually their daughter Jenny. Elizabeth tracked the couple down, who remain adamant the girl is their child. Some accuse them of simply looking for a ticket to the United States. A DNA test will be performed, then I guess all anyone can do is wait. Confusing situation.

The "shot" tonight is a thank you to all the men and women aboard the U.S. Navy ship Comfort, which is on its way back to Baltimore after providing endless care to Haitians post quake. Anderson does some recapping of specific cases and I'll let him take it from here: "I didn't get the chance to board the Comfort when I was in Haiti, but if I had, I would had told them what I will tell them tonight as they leave Port-au-Prince. Thank you for representing our country so well. Thank you for saving so many lives. Thank you and Godspeed."

The show was pretty meh. Hilarity doesn't exactly equal quality news. Haiti and Hollenbeck were the strongest segments. For those who care, I weighed in on the comments to my ratings post and left a thesis. Apparently, I have brevity issues. That'll do it.

Toyota Lobbyists, Central Falls Teachers Fired, Pushing Through Health Care Reform, And A Good News Story Out Of Haiti

Hi everyone. No Anderson Cooper tonight. In CNN's apparent continuing quest to confuse me, we've got Jessica Yellin pulling anchor duties. Well this is new. I'm not sure I've seen her host 360 before. Admittedly, most of my confusion up top here is due to the fact that, well, I just woke up.

Yes, your blogger was napping. Sue me. I pretty much spent the first five minutes or so of the broadcast just wrapping my head around Jessica being there, so yeah, my indepth-ness is going to be of the not variety.

We begin with the subject of Toyota, and how they kinda seem to be trying to kill us. This is all very important of course, but again, I was all discombobulated. So, from some clippage of congressional testimony, we go into a Drew Griffin piece that explores just what the heck is wrong with the cars. The company has previously blamed things such as stuck pedals, but evidence seems to be pointing more and more to electronic issues.

On now to a Joe Johns piece about all those lovely lobbyists Toyota has hired. Ugh. I think we all know that seedy deal by now (though it should absolutely be reported). We also learn that Representative Jane Harman has recused herself from the congressional investigation due to her husband's business dealings with the company and stock holdings. Good for her. Others like Senator Jay Rockefeller aren't stepping aside.

Particularly of note, is the notion that this mess might not be so much that lobbyist money convinced regulators to look the other way, but that the regulators just didn't have the resources to deal. As Joe points out, it's not that far-fetched given how much the Bush administration loved them the regulation. Thanks conservatives!

Transitioning now to the story of Central Falls High School in Rhode Island, which was covered on the program last night. In a Randi Kaye piece we learn that, it's official, the teachers are getting fired. To recap: the district is very poor with horrible statistics when it comes to student performance. But the teachers make between $72,000 and $78,000 per year.

In an effort to shape things up, the superintendent put forth a plan that mandated more time with students. The union for the teachers claims that scores have actually improved as of late and they just wanted to work out details of a plan moving forward. The district says the teachers actually refused the new schedule. I guess the truth is in there somewhere.

In a taped interview, Jessica talks with superintendent Fran Gallo. She assures us the teachers will finish out the school year, but she seems pretty set in this decision to terminate. Some of the teachers may be hired back if they reapply. I guess that's something, though probably rather humiliating. Dr. Gallo also notes that the teachers have complicated things by bringing the students into the issue. I'd be interested to hear more about that angle.

Now for the other side, we're joined by fired teacher George McLaughlin. He seems to think this was all avoidable. First of all, he doesn't accept the district's performance statistics because they have a transient student population. He also kinda disses on the superintendent and how little he believes she knows about the community. Finally, he resolutely states this was not about money. In fact, he seems pretty open to working out details.

I think this was a better format to explore the story that what we had last night, though I still don't feel like I have all the facts. George appeared to think there's some sort of agenda going on, and admittedly the superintendent came off pretty unwavering. I guess the big question is whether the teachers are looking out for the students or just themselves. I don't know the answer to that.

Next up, Dana Bash joins us live to report that reconciliation in health care reform is on the table. Woo hoo! Once upon a time, I had a notion that someday we'd really live up to this whole democracy thing. The system would work and everyone would have their say. But you know what? Screw it. Ram that sucker through!

We spent years watching the Bush administration and Republicans jam legislation down our throats with nothing we could do to stop them. I didn't really want the Democrats to be like that. And they haven't been as of yet. They've bent over backwards so many times for Republicans that they're all going to need chiropractors, with nothing to show for their efforts. Well, enough! It's time for my side to be the jerks. At least in this case we get health care reform.

Of course, it's not without risk. Obviously that whole planned summit thing is going to be painted (accurately) as a farce. Not to mention the overall politically controversialness of the move. But doing nothing might be worse politically (and it will certainly be worse on the nation's health). Plus the base is pissed. No more kowtowing to the stupid centrists who quit when things get hard. I'm through with getting my hopes up on this, but it wasn't a bad day.

From here we have a "broken government" segment with Ali Velshi and Peter Beinart. An okay discussion. I'm taking a pass.

Moving on to Gary Tuchman live with actual good news out of Haiti. The six orphans he reported on last night are going home. Woo! As I'm sure most of us suspected, the previous problems were all just a miscommunication and they really did have the prime minister's signature to take the children. So yay. The aftermath of this mess was also not without difficulty. Gary tells us that when the women went to get the kids at the orphanage...they were gone. Turns out they had been moved to yet another orphanage without telling them. What a day.

All this info sets the very adorable (taped) scene of Gary interviewing the three women while they're all holding kids. And when I say all, that includes Gary. He's got Malichi (ph) who is a little chatterbox and quite enamored by Gary's comically ginormous microphone. At one point he tries to eat it, which hey, it happens. The whole time Gary's doing that thing where you're trying to hold the kid in a way that he can't reach anything. Heh.



Also? The women didn't have a ride, so CNN was kind enough to load them and the six kids into their van. During the interview those boys seemed to be hitting the kinda wound-up crabby stage that kids get in. That might have been a long ride. In any regard, once again, yay. Happy ending! We all know that's not the case overall. Anderson Cooper was on Charlie Rose the other day discussing Haiti and you can see the show here. I thought it was a very good indepth conversation, and I especially found Robert Maguire very informative.

The "shot" tonight was billed as a countdown of Olympic mishaps, which I was going to say was in poor taste given what happened to the luger. But it turned out to be something completely different. Instead, it was a salute to CNN's own "Olympic-ish athletes." Okay, yes, they are totally stretching the Olympic relatedness, though who am I to reject trainwreck-y video?

First up, we get a picture of Tom Foreman receiving first aid treatment after attempting (and apparently failing) a jump onto a desk. Now, why this was attempted, I can't tell you, but I do know at some point he landed that jump. Then there's David Mattingly getting hit by a carp, which let's just face it, who doesn't want to watch that over and over. Anderson sure does.

Finally, perhaps the greatest piece of video CNN has ever broadcast: Rick Sanchez getting tasered. It hurts! I cannot tell you how much I have watched that video over the years. And I laugh every damn time.

The show seemed pretty good. But don't forget the wars, guys. The Iraq election is just around the corner. I know it's the new forgotten war and everything, but the troops who are there now and the troops who paid for that country's future with their lives deserve better, as do the Iraqis.

Cheney Hospitalized, CPAC Talk, The Silsby Effect Reverberates For Haiti's Orphans, Firing Teachers In Failing Schools, & Our Broken Government

Hi everyone. We're kicking things off with the news that Dick Cheney has been hospitalized for chest pain. Again. I am trying so hard right now not to say something snarky. As your momma says, if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. So...yeah. I was really shocked to find out that he's only 69. I thought for sure he was at least, I dunno, what's the average age of evil these days? Okay, okay, that's one. I'm allowed one, right? I'm only human...unlike Cheney. Yeah, that's two. I better stop.

Anyhoo! Apparently, we need the cavalry for this thing. We've got Sanjay Gupta giving us the former veep's heart history, Candy Crowley on the phone talking politics, and Gloria Borger...doing something. I don't know, I pretty much tuned out for this whole segment. Cheney's up walking around. He's probably going home tomorrow. That's that. I'm sure we'll do this again someday.

Keeping on the Cheney wagon, you know how he's quite fond of telling us Obama will eat your babies has made us less safe? Well, Colin Powell ain't having that. We get a clip of him on Face the Nation, explaining that Cheney's talking crazy. Except, he says it all professional like. Then there was Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger on This Week, agreeing with the notion that the Republicans are the Party of No. From there we get a clip of Glenn Beck at CPAC ranting at the Republicans. Dudes, there's a reason I don't watch Fox News.

All this clippage moves us into Bill Bennett taking on what Beck just said. Somebody shoot me now. The topic is thrown to James Carville as well. Because that's so much better. We also get more clips of Beck. It's like they just discovered the guy is connected to stories they cover. Interestingly, there are no clips of Ann Coulter's rousing speech. I can't imagine why. She's always so classy.

One of the main topics of discussion during this segment is the differences between Republicans and Democrats among our elected officials. Let me break it down for you through my eyes: Republicans? Crazy evil. Democrats? Ineffective whiny losers. Questions? Also, from Bill: "There was some speaker, apparently, who made some anti-gay remarks, and was booed off the stage, which is fine. I think that's perfectly appropriate for those young people to do." How nice that he thinks it's "fine" and "perfectly appropriate." Don't praise their actions too much there, Bill. You might strain something.

From irrelevant absurdity we next transition to Haiti, where things are all too real and everything is important. In a Gary Tuchman piece, we learn that the actions of those American missionaries continue to have consequences far and wide. Case in point, Sarah Thacker, a woman who was all set to take her adopted son Reese (along with two other women and five other little boys) to the states, when they were suddenly detained by Haitian police. Actually, when they showed up with the boys at the Port-au-Prince airport they were surrounded by Haitians who started screaming at them about taking their children. No doubt terrifying.

Thing is, their situation seems pretty copasetic. But the Haitian police do not believe it was really the prime minister that signed their paperwork allowing the children to leave. Now the children have been taken to a new orphanage. What a mess. Gary tries calling the prime minister, but is only able to leave a voice mail. No one has heard from him as of yet. C'mon man. Check your messages. Turn on the TeeVee if you can. Sigh. Poor kids. Constantly uprooted these days.

In other Haiti news, once again there were large aftershocks tonight (after the broadcast). So horrible. The people just keep getting traumatized over and over again. For those trying to keep up with the news, I just updated my Haiti Twitter list. Except for a few exceptions, it only consists of people who are actually on the ground in the country. It was pretty depressing how many journalists I recently had to remove. Also, check this out from Soledad O'Brien.

Following Gary's piece, we're joined by Dr. Jane Aronson. The glasses are growing on me. She and Anderson Cooper talk about international adoption and how the process in Haiti needs to be normalized, which will benefit everyone.

Moving on to the news that the superintendent of Central Falls High School in Rhode Island has doled out termination recommendations to the school's 74 full time teachers due to poor student performance. Yikes. The teachers currently make at least $72,000 a year and this decision came after the teachers' union failed to accept a deal that would have involved spending more time with students. Hm. That actually sounds like a pretty good salary for a teacher. I guess that can be taken in more than one way.

For discussion, we're joined by CNN Education Contributor Dr. Steve Perry and Randi Weingarten, president of the American Federation of Teachers. Steve explains that the teachers can't be compensated for their extra time because the district simply doesn't have the money and the teachers are under-performing anyway. Randi says the situation is different than just simply staying late, and then starts going on about mediation that really makes no sense. "What does that mean?" asks Anderson. Thank you! I hate when people say things that only sound good.

Randi then actually does try to explain, but our anchor cuts her off and throws to Steve. Oh, uncool Cooper. The rest of the conversation is okay. I got the distinct impression that we weren't getting the full story from either side, which makes it hard for me to opine. From my vantage point--much like a political debate--both panelists seemed to go in with their talking points all lined up and ingrained world view. I'm guessing the solution isn't as easy as either thinks, and probably can be found somewhere in between their two styles. These kind of debates are way too surface-y. Was any progress made? Doubtful.

In other news, the White House has finally put out their own health care plan. It's not horrible, but no, sadly no public option. This segues us into CNN's new series on broken government, and we go to Ali Velshi at the Earmark Desk. Whoa, wait! What have you done with the Stimulus Desk?! Is it just me, or do you get the impression that CNN has a whole warehouse out back full of desks just waiting to be named?

Ali introduces us to four congresscritters (Bill Shuster, Dennis Kucinich, Chris Lee, and Harry Teague) who voted against the health care bill, but took money for the health care of their constituents. Hypocrisy! Or is it? Two of the representatives are Republicans and two are Democrats (gotta have that CNN balance!). I don't know Teague's deal, but Kucinich surely voted against the bill because he felt it didn't go far enough (not even a public option). I mean, he's definitely not a compromiser (CNN has him there), but is his stance hypocritical? I dunno. But it's poor form of Ali to not even mention that there's two ways opposition can go.

Next up, we're joined by Time's Joe Klein for more broken government talk. Kudos to him for noting the Republican's unwillingness to negotiate and the apathetic citizenship of the country. Also, I liked this: "Democrats have a big problem when they come into office. They actually believe in government." Yeah, stupid Democrats! Stop trying to "govern" and "fix problems." Meanwhile, Republicans want to be in charge of government so they can destroy it. And half of the country still doesn't seem to get this. Sometimes I wonder how we've gotten this far.

Brianna Keilar has the "360 Bulletin" tonight and we learn that the Vatican's official newspaper has put out its list of best rock albums of all time. There is so much hilarity in that sentence I don't even know where to begin. Yes, that Vatican. But rock is devil's music! Anyway, if you're wondering, you can go here to find out what the Pope and his posse are jamming to after mass.

In that blog posting, we were asked to guess Anderson's favorite rock album. Drum roll, please...Elvis Costello, "Armed Forces." Okay, not bad, I guess. "Some of the people on the blog thought that maybe you were a Motley Crue fan. Or an Abba man," says Brianna. Really? Yeah, because when I think Anderson Cooper, I think Motley Crue. As for Brianna? "I like Smashing Pumpkins." Excellent choice.

Of course, this is all generational. I'm guessing that like me, Brianna rocked out her teen years in the 90's. I couldn't even begin to pick one album. Music--predominantly rock--was always very big in my house growing up. I love all different eras. As an alterna-kid, Nirvana is a good choice, but there are so many others. Sigh. Oh well, whatever, nevermind.

The show was okay. Gary rocks it as always. The education segment was definitely worthy to explore, I'm just not sure the debate set up really works to further any kind of conversation. The other stuff felt kind of rushed. The conservative coverage I hate because, well, I'm biased and that's going to happen. But it wasn't like it was a hack job or anything. I thought they were going to cover that story about the school spying on the student via a webcam. Maybe I hallucinated.

Anyway, hey, if we're going to have Cheney coverage, could we maybe get a mention of how the former veep is on record confessing to a war crime? Kinda seems like an important story, no? Does anyone in this country still care about the rule of law?

Bill Clinton Hospitalized, Live Haiti Coverage, And The 31st Anniversary Of The Iranian Revolution

Hi everyone. I'm short on time, so this is going to have to be one of those abbreviated blog posts. We begin with the scary news that Bill Clinton had two stents placed in his coronary artery today after suffering chest discomfort.

From Jessica Yellin we learn that one graft of his previous quadruple bypass surgery was blocked, but the procedure went fine and he will go home tomorrow. She also tells us that Clinton's doctor was very clear that this incident was not related to what some might call his crazy busy workload. So...whew! All is well.

But, well, this is CNN, so we must have ALL the angles and we must beat them to death. First up, the medical angle. How very convenient that Sanjay Gupta has been hanging with us anyway. So okay, obviously if you have a history like Clinton's and you start having chest pressure, you're going to want to get it checked out. Kinda a no brainer.

Remember how Jessica said none of this was due to the former president's workload? Well, next we're also joined by David Gergen, Candy Crowley, and Paul Begala to discuss...Clinton's workload. Right then. David tells us, "Americans know now he has a big, big heart, but just not a very strong heart." ORLY? Thank you, Dr. Gergen. I was not aware you were also a cardiologist.

Sanjay actually previously interviewed Clinton about his quadruple bypass, so...to the vault! Yeah, it's clip time. Anderson Cooper is worried about how this heart stuff can pop up on you so suddenly like this. Nobody tell him about aortic dissections. Seriously, that stuff is scary.

Anyway, then everyone is talking about Clinton again and how much he cares about others' health, and yay for that and everything, but dudes he's not dead. I mean, c'mon. The Gerg tells us..."his passion level is extremely high." Am I just supposed to let that go? I mean, remember who you're talking about. Fine. Fine. I'll be good.

Transitioning to Karl Penhaul live for our nightly update on the arrested American missionaries. Well, it is now Thursday, the day when possible conditional release was expected. But from Karl we learn, sorry missionaries, no bail for you! (Sorry, can't resist a good Soup Nazi reference.) Actually, no real decision has been made. It's just that the judge who was going to rush things, uh, didn't. So now the attorney general has to look at it and then it'll get passed back to the judge and...complicated! Bye Karl, I guess we'll catch you tomorrow.

Up next, we have an Anderson Cooper piece set at Mercy and Sharing Orphanage, and it is filled with adorableness! Our anchor holds a baby and plays with other children. Yes, yes, let the "awwwws!" commence. Cue round two of the Enquirer rumors (kidding).

Anyway! Now that we have that out of our systems, the meat of this story is actually pretty cool. The orphanage has 106 children, 70 percent of which are mentally or physically disabled. Some are even terminally ill. All were abandoned prior to the earthquake.

Raphaelle Chenet, the administrator of the facility, believes in caring for and educating these children in Haiti, so they can grow up in their own country. They will be accepting 100 additional children (victims of the quake) upon government approval. You can learn how to help them at haitichildren.com. (Update: piece is below. Behold the cuteness.)



Moving back to the live shot, we're given an update on little Kenzie who was treated on the USNS Comfort and recently reunited with his family. We're shown some video, and man, that kid has a great smile. Sanjay tells us Kenzie's been telling people that he's been on TV a lot and people like to take his picture. So cute! Future Superstar!

Transitioning to Ivan Watson in the studio for coverage of the 31st anniversary of the establishment of the Islamic Republic of Iran. Big day! Also? Does this mean 360 has heard my request for them to adopt Ivan? Let it be so! As for the news, Ahmadinejad did his speech thing, while the state media played it all out like everything was hunky-dory. Meanwhile, protesters are getting beaten in the streets.

I've really been slacking on the Iran stuff lately. Yes, I am shame-faced. But I've found CNN's Iran Twitter list to be worth a look, and as previously, Andrew Sullivan is all over it when it comes to this subject. Also, it should be noted that Gibbs is calling BS on the Iranian enrichment claims.

Candy Crowley has the "360 Bulletin" again, and unfortunately suffers what appears to be a case of broken prompter. Yikes, it gets painful. Then Anderson weirdly interrupts her in the middle of it to start asking questions, which was either cluelessness on his part or a very sweet act of chivalrous rescuing. I report, you decide.

Back to all the Clinton stuff and Joe Johns gets brought into the game (hey, why not?). Also? Animation! As in, of the heart. Then we have Sanjay and Anderson talking about Clinton's crappy genetics, which leads to them talking about their own crappy genetics. Great, now I'm thinking of my crappy genetics. Raise your hand if your dad died of heart disease. The club of which no one wants to be a member.

On now to a Sanjay piece on the follow up care situation in Haiti. Things are better in that they're now able to give care for ailments other than acute quake related injuries, but the big question is how are these people going to recover. They're living in dirty tent cities and the rainy season promises to bring infectious diseases. Mobile units are working on immunizations, but will it be enough?

Plus, after his piece, Sanjay tells us that hospital discharge instructions are often written in English (brilliant!) and even if the Haitians could read them, there are no pharmacies to get supplies anyway. The doctors are hoping the patients will return for medication, and follow up care can be provided at that time. That's a big bet.

Finally tonight, we have a Randi Kaye piece on the suicide of famous designer Alexander McQueen. I feel like a bit of a fashion failure given that I've never heard of this guy. But I can see his influence on Lady Gaga, so there's that. Give me a break. I'm from the Midwest. And also, I don't care. I mean, I care that he killed himself. That's very sad. He was only 40. It sounds like he might have been distraught over his mother's death, which occurred about a week ago. Again, sad.

The show was okay. I think they went a little heavy with the Clinton stuff, though I'm not denying it was a big story. It was good to see Ivan. More international reporters please. Anyway, that'll do it.

Anderson Cooper 360 Reports Live From Haiti With Coverage Ranging From Orphans To Quarantined Patients (Plus Snowpocalypse!)

Hi everyone. Like last night, we begin this broadcast with Anderson Cooper emphatically trying to portray the importance of the story of Haiti. He concedes it's falling out of the headlines and may seem repetitive, but the story deserves to continue to be told. In essence, he's shaking us all by the shoulders, yelling, "Care, world!"

Our first piece of the night is from our anchor, and it explores the challenge of helping kids who appear to be orphaned. We follow along with workers from Heartland Alliance as they attempt to locate family members of 10-year-old Stephanie Jacques (ph). Unicef does the same for five-year-old Kenzie Charles (ph), currently being treated on the USS Comfort. By a stroke of luck or divine intervention (I'll let you choose), the little boy's parents are located nearby. At least one family is having a good day.

Sanjay Gupta then joins Anderson to talk about the 28-year-old man allegedly pulled from the rubble after a month. He seems to be doing fairly well and is even requesting chocolate. If I hadn't eaten for a month, I think I'd be asking for every food known to man. Of course, he's no doubt not going to be able to eat much for a while.

From Sanjay, we learn that the man actually heard the bulldozers coming and feared he too would be scooped out and tossed in a dump truck like trash. Our doctor also tells us that in terms of emergent cases, things are improving. But the health of Haiti overall is very much up in the air. One wonders what the follow up situation is going to be like--if there is one at all.

Next up, we have a piece from Anderson that gives us a tour of one of the tent cities that have been popping up all over Port-au-Prince, where an estimated 450,000 are now homeless. Anderson explains that initially, people just used sheets to create their living quarters. As time goes on, however, they're beginning to scavenge for materials to make the structures more permanent.

Part of our tour occurs at night, and people are quite pleased to see our anchor, who informs us there might be a bit of drinking going on. Others are cooking and selling food. Team 360 also stumbles upon a very ill woman and subsequently secures her a way to the hospital. Somewhere in another tent city, there is another deathly ill woman with no television crew there to help her. The story of Haiti goes on.

Moving on now to a Karl Penhaul piece for the latest on the saga of the American missionaries. As we learned previously, the group actually tried to take another group of children from a tent city out of Haiti on a bus, and were prevented from doing so by a police officer. Karl finds a woman who says the missionaries offered to take her son and daughter, as her husband had died in the quake and she didn't think she could care for them. Ultimately she did not put her children on the bus.

But Karl also finds a boy who was forced onto the bus by his father. He didn't even know where he was going. An attorney for the group states he was not aware of this attempt to take children. Following Karl's piece, Anderson tells us that the little boy forced on the bus had been given toys by the Americans, but once the scheme failed, they actually asked for the toys back. How very Christian of them.

For a bit of levity, I double-checked this story against the transcript, and it says the missionaries gave the boy "Toyotas." Not quite as impressive as it would have been a few weeks ago.

Transitioning to...Snowpocalypse! SnOMG! And don't forget Snowmageddon. Kinda sad that this latest storm hasn't even happened yet and we've already blown the coolest names. Anyhoo! As you might have heard, there's some snow making it's way to the Big Apple, most of the East Coast, actually.

Chad Myers informs us that some of our CNN friends will be spending the night in a hotel to ensure they're able to deliver their regularly scheduled newsiness. As for my neck of the woods, I woke up, saw snow, heard the schools were closed, and contacted my boss to say I was moving my office day to tomorrow. Then, not three hours later, almost all the snow was gone from the streets. WTF? Snow fail. Was flippin' cold though.

Candy Crowley has the "360 Bulletin" tonight and Anderson makes sure to lavish on the praise regarding her debut broadcast as anchor of State of the Union. Last week she had noted she was a little nauseous about diving in. "No vomiting?" asks Anderson. Thankfully, Candy assures us that she refrained. "I think I might have vomited my debut on 360," says our anchor. TMI, Cooper. TMI.

On now to a Sanjay Gupta piece that takes us inside a tent of patients quarantined for tuberculosis. Yes, he wears a mask. Given how closely the Haitian population is currently living, spreading of TB is a big concern that could potentially have ramifications for us all if it begins to be carried by air travelers out of the country. Scary.

After Sanjay's piece, he discusses the issue with Anderson, who interrupts his own point about sanitation to identify and remove a bug from Sanjay's shirt. Hilariously random. But I'm thankful, since it was, uh, bugging me. Our anchor's about to have PETA on his tail. I mean, if the president couldn't even get away with it...

Next up, Anderson interviews Sean Penn. That's right, I said Sean Penn. Now, normally this is when I would hit DEFCON 5 in terms of needing to snark, but Penn is kinda the real deal and has apparently been working his butt off in Haiti the whole time. He talks about how proud he is of the U.S. military.

Anderson worries about the coming rains and the soon to be nonexistent coverage. He notes the Olympics are airing soon and fears people will get involved with watching that, forgetting about Haiti. I actually didn't think people cared all that much about the Winter Olympics, but was informed by friends that I am mistaken.

Sean thinks the games should be politicized in order to put the focus on Haiti. I can't help but think of the Kashmir quake that happened in October 2005. Remember that? Almost 80,000 people died. Sanjay traveled there that December as winter began to take hold. Everyone wondered what would happen to the homeless as it became bitterly cold.

I don't know the answer to that because Sanjay's reports are the last ones I remember. After that, the story of Kashmir just...disappeared. Haiti is probably an easier story to cover in terms of logistics, but I fear that might not be enough.

Part of Anderson's conversation with Sean is below. Because I was sincere with this celebrity segment, I now feel I must mock someone. (It's like an itch I need to scratch, people!) I believe my douchebag of choice is going to be Dr. Phil. After Katrina, like a lot of celebrities, he showed up in New Orleans looking to help. And hey, if he got some publicity for his show, all the better, right?

I remember I was with my brother watching the news when it was announced Dr. Phil was on his way. With completely sincere horror, I exclaimed, "My God, haven't these people been through enough already?!" Normally it's a line I would deliver with ironic intent, but I totally meant it, which drove my brother to practically fall on the floor laughing. Ah, memories. Seriously, what a douchebag.



Anderson and Sanjay then talk about the children being airlifted out of Haiti due to illness. We also learn that Medicare is paying 110 percent to hospitals in the United States to care for Haitian children. Um, what? Ruh Roh. My initial reaction is cue the outrage of people freaking over their tax dollars being used on Haitian kids. I don't know though. This one could go either way. Will it blow up into a big political thing or will it fall off the radar? Only time will tell. Discussion is below:



Moving on to a clip of Michelle Obama discussing childhood obesity on Larry King. A good topic and all, but are we seriously not going to talk about what's going on with Larry's hair?

Candy then returns with some more headlines, which ultimately leads to she and Anderson bitching about airline pillows and blankets. Bah. Quiet you babies. I've never even been offered one. We then move on to the "shot," which is Donna Brazile and Wolf Blitzer dancing. Sorta! Backing it up a bit, Donna got her groove thing on to the joy over the Saints' recent victory. She then asked the Wolfbot to join in, and he did--in his own special way. It kinda looks like this.

Donna then joins us in a little taped interview where she sings the praises of New Orleans' recovery and deems Anderson a "favorite son." Our anchor adds to the love-fest, name dropping some of his favorite restaurants in the area. "Anderson, next time you want some good Creole gumbo, come to Chez Donna, my house, baby," says Donna. Oh my! I do believe she is flirting. You lead the poor anchor along, but won't allow him to become your boo? Oh Donna. Such a tease!

Back with Candy again, she asks Anderson if he would have accepted a request from Donna to dance. Hmm readers, based on the history of forever, what do we think? Slow dance, probably. Anything else? Yeah, not so much. Candy actually seems a bit frightened of the Wolfbot dancing, as she should be.

Anderson reminds us of weird Blitzer facts: "Wolf loves the music, you know. He was in that band when he was a kid. And he claims he was in the original band called The Monkeys. He had a band that he claims predated the actually Monkees. But I'm not sure I believe him." Unlike Micky Dolenz, our anchor is not a believer. Apparently, there is a trace of doubt in his mind. (Monkee puns! Oh, they should pay me extra for this.)

That'll do it. The show was very good tonight. Keep on truckin', 360. We'll be here.

American Missionaries Charged With Kidnapping, Corporate Greed, And Tea Party Movement's First Convention (Yay?)

Hi everyone. We're beginning tonight with the news that those American missionaries arrested in Haiti have just been charged with kidnapping. This story keeps getting stranger and stranger. It seems a villain has officially been cast, and her name is Laura Silsby. Anderson Cooper informs us that they have an EXCLUSIVE with two people who have interacted with Silsby and believe she's not as innocent as she claims.

We're then joined by phone with David Louis of Compassion For All Orphanage and Richard Pickett, who just legally adopted children from Haiti. The conversation starts with David...and it is excruciating. One of those pulling-teeth interviews where Anderson really makes his big bucks. David tells us Silsby offered to take some of their orphans, but when our anchor tries to confirm that David then told her she couldn't do that without permission from the government, he suddenly clams up and paints himself as uninvolved in any of that. And...then he's gone. Well, thanks for playing.

But we still have Richard via satellite and he's a much easier conversation. He tells us that Silsby actually called his wife while they were in the process of adopting and offered to get the kids out of the country. Obviously, the couple was like, um, no. Because that would be crazy and illegal. Richard also says that this woman would go from orphanage to orphanage, trying to get people to give her kids, and when they refused, she would freak out and cry. He speculates she wanted the kids for fund-raising purposes. So...wow.

We then go live to Haiti to talk to Karl Penhaul about the brochure he's holding. A brochure of LIES! This is sad, awesome, and a tinge comical all rolled into one. So anyway, the brochure is what the Americans were giving out regarding their plans for the children. Karl then proceeds to (slightly dramatically) tick off the untruths one by one. No, the kids they took are not orphans. No, they don't even have an orphanage built. No, they did not have permission from the government to take them. No, they do not have a working website! Lies, lies, lies! Calling a spade a spade. Loves it.

For the other angle of the story, we flip back to Idaho to further explore this Silsby character with Dan Simon. Apparently, the missionary was having quite a time of it recently. Single mom. Recently foreclosed home. Can't pay the bills. Sad, actually. But weird too. It seems she's run her business poorly. Also? A couple of years ago she hired her 24-year-old nanny to set up an orphanage. I mean, WTF? Then she just strolls into the church, meets with the pastor, and is all, hey, who wants to go help Haiti orphans?

I feel bad for the other people arrested with her because it feels like they were probably sucked up in something that's way over their heads. They trusted this woman, and it looks like that's going to be a mistake. My theory on Silsby herself? I'm thinking some sort of mental illness/acute breakdown that led to some very poor decisions, and maybe even believing things that weren't true. What a mess. In related bad news, there's a new estimated quake death toll: 212,000. There are no words.

Transitioning now to Jeffrey Toobin talking about people I want to strangle. Perhaps I should be more specific. Today, Bank of America and two former top executives were charged with defrauding the government. But it's only a civil suit. Not one of the douchebags who got us into our financial mess has gone to prison. Let's list a couple of them for old time's sake, shall we? We're shown a picture of Richard Fuld of Lehman Brothers and Joseph Cassano of AIG fame. As for Bank of America (which, by the way, is teh evil), they're paying for their douches' legal fees, and since we bailed them out, guess who's really paying for the defense. Awesome.

Kiran Chetry continues her "360 Bulletin" duties, and the piece of inane information I'm pulling out for you tonight is that Heinz is going to revamp their ketchup packets. Life changing news, I know. They're going to be bigger now. And dippable! But I don't deal with change well, so we'll see how this goes. Although, if they could remove all metal from the packets, that would we good. Have you ever tossed a fast food bag in the microwave, not realizing one of those little buggers was in there, and then watched the whole thing light up like Fourth of July? Um, yeah...me neither.

Tea Party time! It seems the movement is all growed up and got themselves a convention. One wonders what their numbers are compared to conventions held on the Left (yes, they have them too!), generally not significantly covered by the media. Centrist dude John Avlon is here again for discussion. I guess 360 has like adopted him now? Meh. I suppose they figure one middle-ly pundit is less work than two partisan ones. Efficient!

John draws the distinction between the crazies and those who have legitimate concerns about the nation's fiscal health. Anderson notes that critics want to know where all this populist outrage was during the Bush years (I think he's talking about me!). John then concedes that a lot of the anger is a reaction to the Obama administration. Hm, I wonder why that would be. Anyway! My only real beef with this segment is that there is no mention of the astroturfing done of the movement. Yes, there is genuine anger. There's also been big bucks making sure it's incited. Also? Dick Armey is mentioned, which now always makes me giggle. Because I'm 12.

On now to a Randi Kaye piece in which we meet Bob Porto, Tea Party activist. So what's his story? Nothing out of the ordinary these days: Business disappeared, bank wants the money back on his home loan, now he's ticked. But I still don't understand what he's protesting. You think liberals aren't outraged about this stuff? The problem is, all I hear is slogans from these people. Big government bad! Freedom good! Let's take our country back! From what though? Says Bob: "We want to instill the fact that the Founding Fathers gave us values, and in those values were the basic foundations that created the greatness that America has experienced." What does that even mean?! Yes, values good!

The only specific we get is that Bob does not like regulations. Like salmonella in your food, do you Bob? Big fan of lead? Do any of these people realize that if we would have had better financial regulations set up (and enforced) years ago, it's very possible none of this mess would have happened? So again, Bob seems like a nice guy and sincere and everything, but I still have no idea what his deal is, other than to be just ticked off that life has screwed him over. Yeah, Bob, join the club. It sucks. Of course, it's very possible Bob was much more detailed during taping and the problem lies with the piece, though I suspect not. Activism is awesome. But there's a difference between getting involved in your government, and simply opposing everything it does.

The "shot" tonight is bye-bye pandas. Tai Shan and Mei Lan are being returned to China. Aw. For those that think our anchor might naturally find the animals adorable (they are!), don't be fooled! Anderson is on record as a panda hater. And when I say "on record," I mean he might have mumbled something not completely complimentary about pandas once and I totally blogged it. The Silver Fox gets by with nothing on my watch!

I thought the show was pretty good again. Ratings haven't been so hot lately though. Hopefully they'll hold strong and not give into the urge to go tabloid. That'll do it.

James Arthur Ray Finally Arrested, More On The Christian Missionaries In Haiti, The Latest Politics, And Anderson Cooper Disses Snooki (ZOMG!)

Hi everyone. Am I the only person who flipped over to CNN a few minutes early and had the bejeezus scared out of them by an Avatared Larry King? I mean, good God! It was made all the more jarring because I had just been watching Rachel Maddow, who was torturing us with demon sheep. Yes, demon sheep. Why is the news trying to TERRIFY me?!

We kick things off with the totally awesome news that douchebag snake oil salesman James Arthur Ray has been arrested. Woo hoo! (I was going to switch to 'asshat,' but then I thought, no, 'douchebag' is still working for me here.) You will remember Ray as the self help guru who held sweat lodges that resulted in the deaths of three of his followers. Gary Tuchman has been on the case for us since day one, and he now joins us live to report that Ray has been charged with three counts of manslaughter.

For those of us following the story, most of what come next we've already heard, and even seen, such as an interview clip that's played of former Ray employee Melinda Martin. In these sweat lodges, people became very ill to the point that they were passing out and hallucinating. And Ray did nothing to help, either during or after--hence my name-calling. Anderson Cooper notes that he would have thought that after the deaths Ray would have at least stopped holding his seminars. Clearly our anchor is overlooking the whole douchebag aspect.

The seminars actually were stopped eventually. Gary retells the story of when he and his team went to a one of the seminars in Colorado. They tried to get in, but Ray's people were like, no, we're on to you Mr. Newsman. They were not, however, on to Mr. Newsman's non recognizable producer Ismael Estrada, who proceeded to crash said seminar and ask Ray directly how he could hold the event when people just died. Suffice it to say, Ismael was not given a warm welcome--actually he was booed out. But a week later, the seminars stopped. I like that story.

Next up, we're joined by sweat lodge participant Beverly Bunn by phone and Jeffrey Toobin in the studio. Beverly is stoked that Ray is finally being held to account. Anderson reads us an excerpt from an interview the guru did with "New York" magazine in which he details everything he did to help the sick victims. Beverly calls BS on all of it. She tells us that the medical doctor on scene wasn't even an employee, but rather just another sweat lodge participant. Wow. Obviously, Ray's defense is going to be that this was all just a terrible accident, but things are looking pretty bad for him. This guy needs to go down.

Transitioning now to a Karl Penhaul piece that updates us on the American missionaries charged with child trafficking in Haiti. Now the Dominican consulate is saying they warned the group they didn't have the right paperwork. Ruh roh. I feel the tide turning on this story. In fact, now there's a question of whether or not they bribed a police officer. When CNN then attempted to ask them about the newest allegations, they sang hymns instead of answering the questions. There's definitely something wrong here.

Kiran Chetry has the "360 Bulletin" again, because, I guess her bosses don't want her to ever sleep. We're informed that contrary to popular belief, the kids don't Twitter. Actually, weren't we told this, like, three months ago? What evs. (See! I'm still young. Look at me using the slang!) Anyway! Kiran's all, "I'm very uncomfortable around teenagers. I feel like they're just sitting there thinking, 'What is this old bag trying to say to me right now.'" Yes, Kiran. That is EXACTLY what they are thinking when they look at you. Especially the boy teenagers.

Back to Haiti now, and a question that I asked about a week or so ago: What is the Haitian government doing? Like, exactly? For discussion, we're joined by Joe Johns in Port-au-Prince, and Professor Ludovic Comeau, an economics professor at DePaul University and former chief economist of the Haitian Central Bank. The professor points out the government clearly has a public relations problem. Joe actually did some investigating and was told things are quietly happening behind the scenes.

But! The person he talked to was the Haitian Information Minister, who happens to be the same woman who told Anderson there were no uncovered mass graves. So there's that. Bottom line: the government is doing some stuff (inoculations, working with new orphans), but they're broke and can only do so much. The professor thinks other countries should get involved in the rebuilding, which I think should be watched carefully.

From Anderson: "It also seems like over the years there's been a lot of foreign groups that have come in and kind of put their ideas of, well it should work this way, as opposed to kind of a Haitian solution bubbling up or coming from the diaspora." Yes, remember Naomi Klein.

On now to Dana Bash telling us about the little Q & A Obama had with Senate Democrats today. It was live and on television and six senators were chosen to ask questions. The six chosen are all up for re-election, so you can pretty much guess how that went. Look constituents! Look at me fighting for you! I'm got respect for Obama for doing these things.

For discussion, we're joined by David Gergen and that centrist dude John Avlon. Anderson starts by trying to somehow compare this to Bush, saying 43 got flack for his scripted questions and wondering why "not just have actual impromptu questions." Dood, really? Did you not see that hour Obama spent taking questions from Republicans? Because it was AWEsome! If you think Bush would have ever done anything close to that, there's a bridge I'd like to sell you.

But I'm with our anchor on the whole impromptu question thing (the Bush comparison just rubbed me the wrong way). In fact, John brings up Question Time that they have in Britain and proposes we should to that here. Have you ever seen Question Time? It's AMAZING. If they had that here I'd watch it like it was the season finale of Glee. Can we start by doing Bush like they recently did Blair?

The "shot" tonight is the 360 kids once again introducing me to terrifying reality stars that I don't want to meet. This time: Snooki. She apparently has gotten herself a makeover. I would describe the before and after, but it's much more fun to let Anderson do it. He's never seen the Jersey Shore, mind you, just clips from The Soup. It seems even the Silver Fox has a reality show line. Who knew?! Good for him, but please, Anderson, never use the phrase "Kim Kardashian-esque" again.

Kiran (oh yeah, she's there too!) proclaims Snooki very down to earth, which sets off our anchor, who I guess has seen many hot tub scenes. "It's like a Petri dish," he tells us. Adding, " I don't know what that means." Oh, you know exactly what that means! (Pssst. I think you just called her a skank.) "I'm going to be in trouble with 'The Situation,'" says Anderson. I don't know what that is but I'm guessing it's a male person. Which, you know, seriously? Someone goes by the name "The Situation"? And I thought "The Donald" sounded douche-y.

The show was good. I guess Anderson is going to be in another celebrity feud now. After seeing that clip, Snooki just might be more terrifying than demon sheep.

Haiti Orphans, Underpants Bomber Update, Admiral Mullen's Awesomeness On DADT, Visiting A Haitian-American Community, And Joel Osteen Interview

Hi everyone. Tonight Anderson Cooper resumes his position in the anchor chair, no doubt a strange feeling for him. We kick things off with Karl Penhaul updating us on the American missionaries who have been charged with child trafficking, but I unfortunately missed most of what he said. What can I say, interruptions happen. From what I can ascertain, Team Karl was able to talk with the missionaries' interpreters, who believe the Americans did know all the children weren't orphans. It sounds like much of this story is still up in the air.

We next go to Meridian, Idaho, where Dan Simon awaits with the stateside angle of the story. The Americans are from Central Valley Baptist Church and according to Dan, they have no experience running an orphanage. Nor were they registered as a non profit or international adoption agency. This is beginning to look like some sort of negligent situation at best, or even something shady at worst.

On now to a Joe Johns piece on the difficulties of determining which children in Haiti are orphans. Do they have family members? Are they a street kid versus a child who just lost their parents in the earthquake? Many questions to be answered, a task made even more daunting due to distrust of those wishing to help orphans. This is a crisis that won't be solved any time soon.

Kiran Chetry has the "360 Bulletin" tonight, because apparently they just want to keep us on our toes. Anderson muses that she popped some NoDoz to get through the gig. The CNNers love them the amphetamines. Kidding! So anyway, it's Groundhog Day! Yes, Punxsutawney Phil saw his shadow, which means six more weeks of winter, God damn it. Can I say 'God damn it' when there's a preacher coming up on the show?

Transitioning now to Ed Henry and Dana Bash giving the latest lowdown on the Underpants Bomber. It seems the government has been having super-seekret meetings with bomber dude's family in order to gain his trust and get him to spill the history of his combustible drawers. This is all being officially leaked now because Team Obama is none too pleased with the Republicans talking smack about the terror investigations.

You know, a few years ago the press would have just breathlessly reported the terror meeting stuff without even bothering to think about the timing of the leak. Yay for no BS. Well, at least when it comes to reporting. BS does in fact exist in this story, and it's coming from the Democrats. Many of them are butting up against the administration's policy of trying terror suspects because they'd rather save their political skin than stand up for the rule of law. Lord, sometimes I hate my party almost as much as the Republicans.

On now to coverage of my new military crush: Admiral Mike Mullen, the chairman of the joint chiefs of staff. Today he spoke out against "don't ask, don't tell," deeming a repeal "the right thing to do." For more on this, we get an "Insider Briefing" from David Gergen, who was in the Clinton White House during the policy's inception. I have to say, the graphics for this segment are out of control! Kiran's not the only one drinking the Red Bull, apparently.

So okay, according to the Gerg, Clinton announced he was going to end the prohibition against gays in the military and everyone subsequently went craaazeh. The Big Dog then decided on the compromise of DADT and got his inner circle together to given their opinions. Everyone was in support of the compromise, except Al Gore who wanted to go all the way, so to speak. I'm kinda loving Gore right now too.

The Gerg tells us that back then times were different and everyone was against gays openly serving in the military. He assures us that most people in that inner circle--himself included--would have different advice for the president today. This is probably unfair given that I'm not taking any of the politics into account, but the Gerg's statement here annoys me. We're supposed to be happy and relieved that the majority of the group would now do the right thing now that it's easy? Sorry kids, integrity is when you do what's right, even if it's hard.

Next up, we have an Anderson piece in which he goes into a Haitian-American community in Brooklyn. Everyone there knows someone who was lost in the quake. Hopefully they will help keep the media coverage on the ongoing humanitarian disaster.

The "Big 360 Interview" tonight is Pastor Joel Osteen. Before I get into it though, some disclaimers: I'm a Christian, but mega-churches scare me and I don't trust TV pastors. I don't know much about this particular pastor, though his unrelenting smile is a little unnerving and makes me feel like he's hiding something. He doesn't seem like a real person, actually--very plastic. As you can tell, I obviously already have my ticket booked for hell.

Anderson begins by asking a variation of the age-old question of why God lets bad things happen. There's no point in typing Osteen's answer, because there is no answer. My general feeling about things is that sometimes life just really sucks and there is no why. The challenge is learning to be okay with that. Anderson goes on to lament how unfair it is that one's life can be determined by the randomness in which zip code they were born. He also talks about the mystery of why some people survive and others don't.

Sometimes I'll hear other 360 viewers claim that Anderson is personalizing an interview and asking questions for his own benefit, and I'll think they're looking into things way too much. Tonight, however, I would agree with that assessment. I'm not really sure how to classify my feelings about that other than to say it made me a little sad, and I hope a TV preacher is not the only person he's going to with this stuff. As for Osteen, the dude is happy. Or so he seems. Be positive! I like a positive attitude as much as the next guy, but this feels a little too much like "The Secret."

For another take on all this sunshine-y self helpiness, you should read this piece about Barbara Ehrenreich, author of “Bright-sided: How the Relentless Promotion of Positive Thinking Has Undermined America." Yes, Mr. Osteen is (briefly) mentioned. Maybe this guy is the real deal. But when I think of my pastors, I think of people who visited me for hours in the hospital when I was kid, called me after my car accident, sat with me in the waiting room of the ICU the day my dad died. Between books and TV appearances, when does Joel Osteen have time to do those things?

The "shot" tonight is a dude named Mark Malkoff who decided to get New Yorkers to carry him from one end of Manhattan to the other. Just cuz! To make this all more hilarious, Mark is actually in the studio--and he's being carried by the crew guys who play a game of tag-team hand-off. So, the whole time this guy is just being held while Anderson asks him questions. Awkward!

For those wondering, no, our anchor would not have carried him. He claims it's because he doesn't weigh that much more than Mark, but c'mon, we all know he's packing the guns. I guess the Silver Fox actually isn't one of those nice New Yorkers he likes to talk about. Kidding! Also? I agree about residents of the Big Apple being nicer than their reputation. This Missouri girl got good and lost a couple of years ago in my quest to get back to New Jersey (was staying with a friend) and people were quite helpful. Well, most of them.

Anyway! Apparently, a bet went down among the 360 kids that producer Diana Miller could not carry Sean Yates. We're then played video of Ms. Diana doing exactly that. You go girl! But oh, that is totally a workman's comp claim waiting to happen. The show was good, though the whole Osteen interview situation was a tad strange. That'll do it.

Americans Accused Of Child Trafficking In Haiti, Obama's Proposed Budget, Update On The Mass Graves In Haiti, And Steve Perry Interviews P. Diddy

Hi everyone. Happy New Week! Anderson Cooper is taking a little well-deserved time off, so it is Wolf Blitzer to the rescue tonight. Recently, the Wolfbot has seen his airtime decreased a bit from his usual million hours per week, so apparently he's going to take it back any way he can, yo! And here we are.

We begin with the odd and disturbing story that 10 American missionaries have been arrested in Haiti on charges of trafficking children into the Dominican Republic. This news leads us into a piece from Karl Penhaul, who is still in Haiti. The Americans claim they thought the children were orphans, but when Karl investigates in the children's home village, he finds that's actually not the case.

He talks with poor parents who say they willingly gave their children to the missionaries after being promised they would receive schooling, food, and toys. Essentially, these parents let go of their children in the hopes that they'd have a better life somewhere else. How sad.

Next up, we go to Dan Simon in Meridian, Idaho, which is the home of Central Valley Baptist Church--the church of the missionaries. Dan speaks live with Pastor Drew Ham and everything seems pretty confused at this point.

Obviously the number one question needing to be answered is whether or not the Americans truly believed the children were orphans. Apparently, at this point they have yet to convince officials. Also? Pastor Ham says Dan's name, like, a zillion times. It's amusing.

From Idaho, Blitzer goes on to interview Georg Willeit of SOS Children's Villages regarding the missionaries' intentions.

Transitioning now to CNN's brand-spanking new anchor, Candy Crowley, talking about Obama's proposed budget. That's right, Ms. Crowley has done got herself a show--John King's old gig on State of the Union to be precise. The ladies are slowly taking over. About time. Watch your back, fellas.

Anyway! So, we got this whole budget thing here, and of course the specifics are framed in terms of 'winners' and 'losers' because, I guess, they must. Who's up. Who's down. Who's ahead. Who's behind. Your beltway media at work. I'm not going to list any of the details myself because none of them made me go, "OMG, really?!" Yay to the increase in pell grants though. Those babies got me through some hard semesters.

New narrative alert! Obama is bankrupting America. (Oh noes!) David Gergen and David Walker discuss. Meh. Yes, the deficit is comically high. But let's not go crazy, mmkay?

Someone named Brooke Baldwin has the "360 Bulletin" tonight. Who dat? Being groomed to replace Erica Hill or just simply subbing? Your guess is as good as mine. But I know how some of you have treated 360 newbies in the past (poor John Roberts). Beee nice. Anybody who makes a My So-Called Life reference is a-okay in my book. (I'm so easily won over.)

On now to a re-airing of Anderson's very disturbing piece on the mass graves. Why? Because they have an update from Joe Johns. And it's actually positive! Well, as positive as an update to a story on mass graves could be. It turns out that Haitian Daniel Rouzier saw our anchor's report and took it upon himself to get two backhoes and a priest to the site. The bodies were then more properly buried, and a bunch of people came out to pray and bless the graves. I hope 360 continues investigating the company and government as to what happened.

Finally tonight, we have Dr. Steve Perry interviewing P. Diddy about connecting with young people in their community. This is one of those segments that seems to come out of nowhere, and you're like, "Well, hello there." And then it feels like it's over before it began. Obviously this is all edited, so it's hard to really make any comment. What I saw was okay, I guess.

I wish Steve would have asked him why everything always has to be about music and fashion and sports and the like (and maybe he did--like I said, edited). Why must celebrities always promote the celebrity lifestyle? Why doesn't P. Diddy make a show about young scientists or something? Yeah, I know, I know. No one would watch. But maybe they would if these people made those kind of careers cool.

The "shot" tonight is a dancing owl. Or perhaps a dancing vulture. I link, you decide.

The show was pretty good. It felt shorter than when they were in Haiti. Hm. Wasting time with teases and whatnot in studio? Maybe it's just me. Anyway! Glad to see Haiti is still getting a big chunk of airtime. That'll do it.

Hey, follow me on Twitter. You know you want to.

Anderson Cooper 360 Reports Live From Haiti And CNN Gets Stimulated

Hi everyone. Welcome to the new week. As 360's coverage slowly becomes more normalized, I guess this is as good a time as any to return to my regular reviews. It should go without saying that the snark factor is still going to be lacking a bit, but I'm eager to at least get back to my present-tense format. So, away we go.

The broadcast begins with Anderson Cooper apologizing for any coughing he might do in the near future. They've just burned dead bodies near his live shot and now the "air is thick with the smell of the dead; the air is thick with their ashes." Not even a minute into the show and already a brutal slap in the face by the cold hand of reality. Our anchor goes on to give a general update: a man rescued over the weekend, no one today. At this time there are 4,000 missing Americans. There is a new video from the aftermath of the earthquake.

Anderson has the first piece of the night, with the focus being Haiti's orphans. Security has become a major issue, as there is a palpable fear of the children being kidnapped for trafficking. Besides that horror, workers are having to deal with a situation that is beyond confusing. There are many people back in the states who would love to adopt these children, but first they must determine that every presumed orphan actually is an orphan. The last thing anyone wants to do is take these kids away from family members in Haiti.

Following his piece, Anderson speaks with Deb Barry of "Save the Children" about security concerns. He points out that in the past, rumors of child trafficking haven't always been true. Deb admits that their reports are preliminary. One can't be too cautious, I suppose. Especially with the Restavek situation the country already has.

Next up, a Sanjay Gupta piece explores the trauma that quake survivors have experienced. It's hard to imagine that there's not going to be country-wide PTSD. Many people now live in tents--not because they don't have a home--but because they're terrified of the aftershocks. How do you restore the confidence of a nation?

Transitioning now back to the states, where we find Ali Velshi hanging with a stack of binders that is almost as tall as him. CNN has decided to get themselves stimulated (yes, I stole part of my title from TVNewser). I'll refrain from the Viagra joke. The whole idea here is that they're going to look into how the stimulus money has been spent. We're given a beyond meaningless poll that shows a good percentage of Americans believe the money is being used for political purposes. Now, there are no actual facts involved in their poll--this is just what people think are the facts.

The irony that these very opinions are shaped by media outlets is apparently lost on CNN. Annnnd because the media is usually skipping along about five paces behind public opinion, I'm not going to bother getting my shocked face out if this new round of reporting reinforces the beliefs of that poll. To be clear, I'm not exactly a stimulus cheerleader, and I do very much support investigations such as this one, BUT after surviving last year's atrocious reporting on the economy (seriously, so bad!), I've got pretty much no faith that this little project they're doing is going to produce anything worth writing home about. Fingers crossed that they surprise me.

We're jumping back to Haiti now, where Gary Tuchman has a piece on the demolished presidential palace. In fact, all their main governmental buildings are gone, forcing officials--including president Rene Preval--to work out of the police station. This might be a stupid question, but, like, what are they doing in there? Specifically what governmental work are they getting done? Maybe they're doing very important things, but we're certainly not seeing evidence of that on our TV screens.



After Gary's piece, we're joined by him, Ivan Watson, Anderson, and Christiane Amanpour for discussion. Christiane! The Live Shot Boy's Club has been infiltrated! I've been loving the guys (don't take away the guys!), but it's nice to have a little gender representation. Plus, c'mon, it's Christiane Frickin' Amanpour. Just her mere presence makes things feel more newsy. But going back to the Boy's Club, 360, some of your regular viewers have a request: We want you to adopt Ivan. It's not fair that he gets hogged by CNNi. We want to learn about Turkey, we swear!

In seriousness, I have advocated several times on this blog for the inclusion of more international reporters. I follow all these great people on Twitter and I never get to see their work unless they put the piece online (or something horrible happens in the part of the world they cover.) Anyway! The live shot gang talks about governmental corruption and the possibility of another big earthquake. Scary.

Transitioning back to the stimulus stuff. Ali tells us about a stimulus project where it sounds like the funds have been wasted. But, uh, he doesn't know because they're not done investigating it yet. Okay then. This being CNN, if they don't balance that sucker out the place will apparently catch on fire, so, yes, then he tells us about a good stimulus-y project. Yawn.

After that, we go to a Drew Griffin piece about Aggregate Industries, a recipient of stimulus cash. I think I'm going to have to pass on this one. My regular readers are well aware of my bias against this reporter. This might be a completely accurate piece, and Aggregate Industries might be evil incarnate, but at this point I can't even get past Drew's near unprofessional delivery. He never just reports the facts; he makes them fit into whatever narrative will make a better story. Remember his report on the stimulus money used for that Missouri bridge? I mean, good lord. I was flabbergasted that even make it to air.

Moving on now to Anderson talking politics with David Gergen and Candy Crowley. It's a little weird given that he's standing near bodies being burned. The news tonight is that Obama is proposing a discretionary spending freeze. I'll need more facts to give a full opinion, but my initial reaction was that of Nate Silver: seems a little tone deaf. Another thing for the pundits to idiotically chatter about. Oh joy.

The hour wraps up with updates on a couple of the children we've met in Haiti. First we see new video of the rescue of little Monley. As for his current condition, he apparently has pneumonia and a fever, but doctors think he'll be okay. Hm, still a little troubling though. Anderson also talks with Bea, the little girl he witnessed being rescued. She's lost 10 members of her family, but she's staying strong.

The video below is from the program Backstory. Host Michael Holmes talks with Sanjay Gupta, producer Danielle Dellorto, and photographer Jonathan Schaer about the night the doctors abandoned their patients at that field hospital. From Sanjay: "For a while, my faith in humanity was trashed."



This next video was taken of Team Gupta actually working on patients that night. We've seen part of this via Anderson's end, but it's really worth a viewing to see what it was like for them.



That'll do it. Don't forget to follow me on Twitter (@newsjunkie365) and check out my Haiti Twitter List.