In Katrina's Wake: Live From New Orleans

Hi everyone. Did you miss me? For those of you wondering just where your blogger has been, this is what happened: the world done gone crazy!! Terror babies! Obama's religion! Muslims who want to exercise their constitutionally protected freedom of religion! Clutch. Your. Pearls. People.

Um, yeah.

So I was all, EFF THAT! You know who also made his escape from Crazy Town? Anderson Cooper, that's who. But tonight the Silver Fox has resumed his rightful place on our television screens. And oh! It's called sunscreen, son. Well, at least I guess this means he had some vacay fun. I swear, he doesn't wear a helmet when biking, doesn't satisfactorily protect against UV rays--what are we going to do with this anchor?! Next we'll probably hear about him doing something really crazy, like swimming with sharks without a cage. Oh, wait.

With the five year anniversary of Hurricane Katrina looming, the 360 kids have made their way down to New Orleans for some follow up coverage. Tonight's broadcast comes at us from George Washington Carver High, where residents hope to build a so-called Ninth Ward Field of Dreams--a community track and football field. I think this is a good place to get the bullet points rolling (oh yes, they're back!). Away we go:

• Whoops. An apparently unforeseen kink in the new graphics package is that our anchor's face gets covered if he moves an inch. And he's a mover!

• The look back at Hurricane Katrina was very well-done. The majority of those clips I remember like they were yesterday. Anderson Cooper rightly got a lot of attention for his reporting, but I cannot put into words the impact of Jeanne Meserve's report that aired on NewsNight that Monday night. I will never forget that. I'll be doing my own retrospective in blog form at some point, but I'm not sure exactly when. Look back! The CNN segment is below:

• If we're being honest here, going from that great segment to discussion with James Carville and Julia Reed was a pretty big letdown. I'm done with the professional talkers. I want to see reporting and I want to hear from everyday people. Kthxbai.

• Washboard Chaz! But I forgot to look and see if he still has his little bell. Thinking about Anderson ringing it still makes me laugh. One of the last times Chaz was on, I was chatting with other viewers and we were placing bets regarding when in the broadcast our anchor would finally ring that bell. You could just tell he wanted to soo bad. Because all men are 12 inside. If I recall, Anderson held strong until the very end. Hey man, a bell must be rung.

• Gary Tuchman had a piece on Sarah Palin and I was like, why Gary, why?! It's okay, I still love you. Palin is a job hazard.
  

• Then we had political discussion with Ed Rollins and James Carville. Yay? Actually, if we must have the pundit from the right and pundit from the left formula, can we lock in Ed here? So. Much. Better. Than. Erickson.

• Carville on why he hopes Palin will run in 2010: "...it's just there's nobody more compelling than she is in politics. I mean, forget the politics of it. But she's a force. And she keeps doing it. And she's gutsy." Annnnd James perfectly illustrates why I hate punditry as a whole and usually dislike him specifically. She's compelling! She's gutsy! Um, policy stands? Bueller? I'm sure he also wants her to run because he thinks she'll lose, but c'mon.

• Ed believes Palin will run and added that, "I think, Anderson, you and I will spend our time at New York dinner parties arguing with the Manhattanites." I only quote this because as soon as Ed said it I knew what was coming. Ruh-roh! Anderson Cooper is not going to like you messing with his carefully maintained 'everyman' reputation. Cue our anchor: "I can't tell you the last time I was actually invited to a dinner party. But I digress." Oh Silver Fox. So predictable. We believe you're down to earth...but we also know you're a famous millionaire descended from what is basically American royalty. So there's that. But okay, no dinner parties for you. Embrace your dichotomy, Anderson!

• Sanjay Gupta is reporting from Pakistan on the horrible flooding and he checked in from Islamabad tonight. Kudos to CNN for allowing him to go. He's still traveling, so I'm hoping that we'll be getting a lot more coverage later. A sobering tweet from him: "The UN: Pakistan flood destruction greater than the 04 tsunami, 05 Pakistan quake and Haiti quake combined."

• I'm glad Amber Lyon's report on Craigslist got results (officials from 17 states are demanding the adult services section be taken down), but I kinda wish we didn't have to see it again. I know, I know, it's new to many.
  

• Tom Foreman took a (very short) look at the Superdome then and now:

• Anderson had a report in which he talked with Brian Bordainick, the executive director of Ninth Ward Field of Dreams. At only 24-years-old he looks like he himself could be a student at that high school. He explained to Anderson why he thinks the sports fields will lower the crime rate and improve lives.
  

• After the piece, Brian and principal Lee Green joined Anderson live. They've raised $1.4 million for their project, but have $250,000 to go. To help them meet that goal, check out 9thwardfieldofdreams.com.

• That'll do it. The show was pretty good. I would have liked more from New Orleans, but it's only the first day.
  

• This bullet point contains some NOLA food. The CNNers keep tweeting their meals and it's making me jealous. And hungry.
  

Fourteenth Amendment Under Attack, More Immigration Coverage, Political Pontification, Prison Escape, And Update From The Gulf

Hi everyone. A brand new week, and a fresh batch of piping hot news. To the bullet points!:

• Hey, you know how conservatives are always saying they just want to adhere to the constitution? Well, guess what happens when there's something in the Constitution they don't like--for example, the fact that everyone born in the U.S. is automatically a citizen. Yeah, you know where this is going: time to get rid of the 14th amendment! I mean, really, people? REALLY? Oh, but it gets better. They defend their stance by saying the amendment was only ever meant to apply to descendants of African-American slaves. *sigh*

• Anderson Cooper gives us a nice little history lesson about why this is all BS, complete with shout out to Senator Edgar Cowan of Pennsylvania (impressive!).

• Our anchor: "Now, we try not to take political sides on this program. That's not our job. But we do care about facts. So whether you support or oppose altering the 14th Amendment, you can argue illegal immigration as we know it wasn't a huge concern behind it, but you can't say it was only focused on African-Americans." The first part of this is unnecessary, yet he reiterates it all the time. Please stop telling us what your job is and isn't and just, you know, do it.
  

• The 14th amendment issue was debated out with Arizona State Senator Russell Pearce and Paul Begala. The Hawaiian shirt-sporting Pearce (seriously), throws the "only African-Americans" lie out there almost immediately. Says Anderson: " I have just got to jump in, because, actually, that's not true. We have been doing some research..." Whoa, the Silver Fox is actually awake for this? Sweet. They go back and forth and our anchor wins the interrupt-a-thon, though Pearce is conceding nothing. But since Anderson actually did his job, now the viewers know that Pearce is full of shit. So good for that.

• Anderson: "I try not to let people talk over each other. I know. I apologize. It's annoying when you're sitting at home. But there's only so much you can do at some points." Completely understood. And when you're trying, I don't mind. It's your whole frequent not trying thing that pisses me off, and makes these segments completely useless. But tonight you done pretty good. Cookie for you!

• In case you didn't believe Anderson's little history lesson up top, we also heard from Eric Foner, an actual professor of history. Anderson: "So, when those people argue that this only was based on African-Americans, that's simply not true?" Foner: "That's completely false. That's completely false." Nice.

• Gary Tuchman is still out west and actually traveled to New Mexico to talk with illegal immigrants who are moving there from Arizona. We meet Hector and Pedro, both men who had lives in Arizona, but have decided the political climate there has become too dangerous. Apparently, New Mexico is a lot friendlier. Unfortunately, not as many jobs. Pedro even tried to get legal though an immigration lawyer and lost $2500 in the process.
  

• I don't understand. If an immigrant is contributing to society, paying taxes, speaks English, and even pays a fine for their initial infraction of crossing over illegally, what's the problem? Why would anyone be against a path for longtime residents like Hector to become legal? I'm trying to be fair and open-minded to the other side, but I can't stop one specific reason from popping into my head. Perhaps Hector would have a better time of it if his name was Henry. (Gary's piece is below.)

• From Joe Johns we learned that Lindsay Lohan is out of jail. Praise the Lord! My life can go on. Says Joe: "probably, the people who run the lockup are just as happy as she is that she's out of there and on her way to rehab." Oh, Joe. Such a jokester. Apparently, Anderson was amused too, his laugh turning into a coughing fit. Still with the cough, Silver Fox? You're making me worry!

• Ruh roh, people. Time to break out the ridiculous graphics: Dems Under Attack! Charlie Rangel is feeling the heat and now Maxine Waters might be in some trouble. So..., um, that's two Democrats. Yeah, this segment angle is totally warranted. Our punditry for "Raw Politics" includes Paul (again) and Reihan Salam. Blah, blah, blah.

• Of note is Paul claiming that Republicans are blocking immigration reform. Anderson: " Is that true, Reihan?" What? Why are you asking the partisan that question? This is why we need you. All the cojones talk is subjective and worthless. Viewers want the facts. Don't pass the fact-y questions to other people. Also? Referencing Bill Kristol again? How many years am I going to have to go over this? The man is never right. Why on earth would anyone listen to someone with his track record? It's like there is zero accountability in punditry.
  

• Three inmates escaped from prison in Arizona. Can't say I'm all that interested, but I guess the nationwide manhunt makes it more than just a local story. I'm not sure the interview with Charles Ryan was really necessary though.
  

• Back in the Gulf, we had Tom Foreman live to talk about the static kill plan. Yes, he comes bearing a prop, but after the trashcan hilarity, it's a little unimpressive. Later, he whips out the iPad because apparently he is unable to be more than two feet from Magic Wall-like technology at any given time. I think it's actually in his contract. Also? He's in the Gulf; where is his tight t-shirt? I don't feel like you're fully being a team player here, Tom.

• I like that Tom flummoxed the Silver Fox with math. If he's bad again in the future, I shall make him do the quadratic formula. (Tom's segment below.)

• The show wasn't too bad. Kinda panel heavy. I could have done without the politics discussion all together since there really wasn't much there. And since Anderson actually did his moderating job, we really didn't need Paul to go up against Senator Pearce. You don't always have to "balance" it out, guys. Pearce was the newsmaker. As long as he's held accountable, that's what matters. Anyway. Lately I've been judging the show by how much I want to kill Anderson (with love, people!). Tonight? Not at all, actually. Yay for non murderous feelings!
  

• This bullet point contains a cat playing a piano. Because why not!
  

Keeping BP Honest And An Interesting Study On Kids And Race

Hi everyone. I'm really short on time, but I thought I'd drop some bullet points of awesomeness on you. Away we go:

• Our anchor is done with the playing around, people: "...a lot of developments to tell you about tonight, but, first, let's just cut through the B.S. Excuse the language." ANDERSON COOPER! Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?! *clutches pearls* THINK OF THE CHILDREN.

• For those of you new to the blog, I previously suggested an entire segment be called "That's Bullshit." So, you know, fun with irony.

• I'm not completely sure, but it really looked like our anchor actually did the Magic Wall segment live (ZOMG!). I don't know, the live-bug was being kinda wonky. It would make sense though given how jittery he seemed--like someone gave him a Red Bull before the broadcast. See Anderson, you made it through and nobody died. (That we know of! Dun dun dun! Did I mention I'm tired?)
  

• Well, this is a change of pace for our blank-slated anchor: "This is like in Katrina, when politicians said, now is not the time to point fingers. Remember that? Look, you all know what's going on out there. It's not in BP's interest to have accurate figures on how much oil is gushing out of that pipe every single day. It's not good public relations." Calling a spade a spade. I like it.
  

• Actually, the honesty-keeping of BP was pretty good tonight. And yay Douglas Brinkley. Like that guy.

• 360 wants YOU, BP! Anderson is chomping at the bit to interview the snot out of any of them. Think he'll ever get takers?

• Oh look, political heads-in-boxes talking about Sarah Palin. Snooooze.

• The New York Times has a piece out busting Connecticut Attorney General Richard Blumenthal for saying he served in Vietnam when he really didn't. This bullet point isn't to point out douchebaggery, but rather to state my surprise that Anderson and panel are actually shocked by this. We have our moments, but for the most part, we're still living in a very low accountability world. Politicians/officials say bald-face lies all the time and don't get called on it. Hell, at this point Blumenthal might even actually believe he served in Vietnam. People go on the TeeVee spouting made up facts and figures and no one bats an eye at them. This is why I got so excited when Jake Tapper teamed up with Politifact to fact-check This Week.
  

• You know those whack-a-mole carnival games? The one where you have a mallet and you smack the little creature every time it pops up? Basically, I want my journalist to be the mallet, and every time there's an untruth floating around out there.."whack!" It's a pretty good deterrent for idiocy. So what I'm saying Anderson Cooper, is that I want your arm to be tired by the end of the broadcast.

• And I found it interesting that our anchor cited bloggers as the people who check everything and not, you know, his own show that actually has traction, but I'm probably reading that unfairly.

• I like the opening of the race study segment with Anderson sitting and talking to us. Very 60 Minutes.

• The segment itself was really interesting, though disturbing. As stated, it was simply a pilot study. The social psychologist in me kept wondering if there were variables skewing the results. What would happen if the children were given the option of "none," as in, "there is no dumb child." Should the questions have been asked twice--once with a black questioner and once with a white? Would that in of itself have distorted data? Lots of things to think about. I wish Anderson had further questioned the girl who said she sometimes thought her skin color was nasty. That has to come from somewhere. Pretty heartbreaking. Anyway, I'm glad they're doing this series. I'm not completely convinced it's statistically significant, but you can't deny that for the most part, the kids pointed very quickly.

• That's it for me. This bullet point contains a cookie...but only if you're good.

James Arthur Ray Finally Arrested, More On The Christian Missionaries In Haiti, The Latest Politics, And Anderson Cooper Disses Snooki (ZOMG!)

Hi everyone. Am I the only person who flipped over to CNN a few minutes early and had the bejeezus scared out of them by an Avatared Larry King? I mean, good God! It was made all the more jarring because I had just been watching Rachel Maddow, who was torturing us with demon sheep. Yes, demon sheep. Why is the news trying to TERRIFY me?!

We kick things off with the totally awesome news that douchebag snake oil salesman James Arthur Ray has been arrested. Woo hoo! (I was going to switch to 'asshat,' but then I thought, no, 'douchebag' is still working for me here.) You will remember Ray as the self help guru who held sweat lodges that resulted in the deaths of three of his followers. Gary Tuchman has been on the case for us since day one, and he now joins us live to report that Ray has been charged with three counts of manslaughter.

For those of us following the story, most of what come next we've already heard, and even seen, such as an interview clip that's played of former Ray employee Melinda Martin. In these sweat lodges, people became very ill to the point that they were passing out and hallucinating. And Ray did nothing to help, either during or after--hence my name-calling. Anderson Cooper notes that he would have thought that after the deaths Ray would have at least stopped holding his seminars. Clearly our anchor is overlooking the whole douchebag aspect.

The seminars actually were stopped eventually. Gary retells the story of when he and his team went to a one of the seminars in Colorado. They tried to get in, but Ray's people were like, no, we're on to you Mr. Newsman. They were not, however, on to Mr. Newsman's non recognizable producer Ismael Estrada, who proceeded to crash said seminar and ask Ray directly how he could hold the event when people just died. Suffice it to say, Ismael was not given a warm welcome--actually he was booed out. But a week later, the seminars stopped. I like that story.

Next up, we're joined by sweat lodge participant Beverly Bunn by phone and Jeffrey Toobin in the studio. Beverly is stoked that Ray is finally being held to account. Anderson reads us an excerpt from an interview the guru did with "New York" magazine in which he details everything he did to help the sick victims. Beverly calls BS on all of it. She tells us that the medical doctor on scene wasn't even an employee, but rather just another sweat lodge participant. Wow. Obviously, Ray's defense is going to be that this was all just a terrible accident, but things are looking pretty bad for him. This guy needs to go down.

Transitioning now to a Karl Penhaul piece that updates us on the American missionaries charged with child trafficking in Haiti. Now the Dominican consulate is saying they warned the group they didn't have the right paperwork. Ruh roh. I feel the tide turning on this story. In fact, now there's a question of whether or not they bribed a police officer. When CNN then attempted to ask them about the newest allegations, they sang hymns instead of answering the questions. There's definitely something wrong here.

Kiran Chetry has the "360 Bulletin" again, because, I guess her bosses don't want her to ever sleep. We're informed that contrary to popular belief, the kids don't Twitter. Actually, weren't we told this, like, three months ago? What evs. (See! I'm still young. Look at me using the slang!) Anyway! Kiran's all, "I'm very uncomfortable around teenagers. I feel like they're just sitting there thinking, 'What is this old bag trying to say to me right now.'" Yes, Kiran. That is EXACTLY what they are thinking when they look at you. Especially the boy teenagers.

Back to Haiti now, and a question that I asked about a week or so ago: What is the Haitian government doing? Like, exactly? For discussion, we're joined by Joe Johns in Port-au-Prince, and Professor Ludovic Comeau, an economics professor at DePaul University and former chief economist of the Haitian Central Bank. The professor points out the government clearly has a public relations problem. Joe actually did some investigating and was told things are quietly happening behind the scenes.

But! The person he talked to was the Haitian Information Minister, who happens to be the same woman who told Anderson there were no uncovered mass graves. So there's that. Bottom line: the government is doing some stuff (inoculations, working with new orphans), but they're broke and can only do so much. The professor thinks other countries should get involved in the rebuilding, which I think should be watched carefully.

From Anderson: "It also seems like over the years there's been a lot of foreign groups that have come in and kind of put their ideas of, well it should work this way, as opposed to kind of a Haitian solution bubbling up or coming from the diaspora." Yes, remember Naomi Klein.

On now to Dana Bash telling us about the little Q & A Obama had with Senate Democrats today. It was live and on television and six senators were chosen to ask questions. The six chosen are all up for re-election, so you can pretty much guess how that went. Look constituents! Look at me fighting for you! I'm got respect for Obama for doing these things.

For discussion, we're joined by David Gergen and that centrist dude John Avlon. Anderson starts by trying to somehow compare this to Bush, saying 43 got flack for his scripted questions and wondering why "not just have actual impromptu questions." Dood, really? Did you not see that hour Obama spent taking questions from Republicans? Because it was AWEsome! If you think Bush would have ever done anything close to that, there's a bridge I'd like to sell you.

But I'm with our anchor on the whole impromptu question thing (the Bush comparison just rubbed me the wrong way). In fact, John brings up Question Time that they have in Britain and proposes we should to that here. Have you ever seen Question Time? It's AMAZING. If they had that here I'd watch it like it was the season finale of Glee. Can we start by doing Bush like they recently did Blair?

The "shot" tonight is the 360 kids once again introducing me to terrifying reality stars that I don't want to meet. This time: Snooki. She apparently has gotten herself a makeover. I would describe the before and after, but it's much more fun to let Anderson do it. He's never seen the Jersey Shore, mind you, just clips from The Soup. It seems even the Silver Fox has a reality show line. Who knew?! Good for him, but please, Anderson, never use the phrase "Kim Kardashian-esque" again.

Kiran (oh yeah, she's there too!) proclaims Snooki very down to earth, which sets off our anchor, who I guess has seen many hot tub scenes. "It's like a Petri dish," he tells us. Adding, " I don't know what that means." Oh, you know exactly what that means! (Pssst. I think you just called her a skank.) "I'm going to be in trouble with 'The Situation,'" says Anderson. I don't know what that is but I'm guessing it's a male person. Which, you know, seriously? Someone goes by the name "The Situation"? And I thought "The Donald" sounded douche-y.

The show was good. I guess Anderson is going to be in another celebrity feud now. After seeing that clip, Snooki just might be more terrifying than demon sheep.