Fourteenth Amendment Under Attack, More Immigration Coverage, Political Pontification, Prison Escape, And Update From The Gulf

Hi everyone. A brand new week, and a fresh batch of piping hot news. To the bullet points!:

• Hey, you know how conservatives are always saying they just want to adhere to the constitution? Well, guess what happens when there's something in the Constitution they don't like--for example, the fact that everyone born in the U.S. is automatically a citizen. Yeah, you know where this is going: time to get rid of the 14th amendment! I mean, really, people? REALLY? Oh, but it gets better. They defend their stance by saying the amendment was only ever meant to apply to descendants of African-American slaves. *sigh*

• Anderson Cooper gives us a nice little history lesson about why this is all BS, complete with shout out to Senator Edgar Cowan of Pennsylvania (impressive!).

• Our anchor: "Now, we try not to take political sides on this program. That's not our job. But we do care about facts. So whether you support or oppose altering the 14th Amendment, you can argue illegal immigration as we know it wasn't a huge concern behind it, but you can't say it was only focused on African-Americans." The first part of this is unnecessary, yet he reiterates it all the time. Please stop telling us what your job is and isn't and just, you know, do it.
  

• The 14th amendment issue was debated out with Arizona State Senator Russell Pearce and Paul Begala. The Hawaiian shirt-sporting Pearce (seriously), throws the "only African-Americans" lie out there almost immediately. Says Anderson: " I have just got to jump in, because, actually, that's not true. We have been doing some research..." Whoa, the Silver Fox is actually awake for this? Sweet. They go back and forth and our anchor wins the interrupt-a-thon, though Pearce is conceding nothing. But since Anderson actually did his job, now the viewers know that Pearce is full of shit. So good for that.

• Anderson: "I try not to let people talk over each other. I know. I apologize. It's annoying when you're sitting at home. But there's only so much you can do at some points." Completely understood. And when you're trying, I don't mind. It's your whole frequent not trying thing that pisses me off, and makes these segments completely useless. But tonight you done pretty good. Cookie for you!

• In case you didn't believe Anderson's little history lesson up top, we also heard from Eric Foner, an actual professor of history. Anderson: "So, when those people argue that this only was based on African-Americans, that's simply not true?" Foner: "That's completely false. That's completely false." Nice.

• Gary Tuchman is still out west and actually traveled to New Mexico to talk with illegal immigrants who are moving there from Arizona. We meet Hector and Pedro, both men who had lives in Arizona, but have decided the political climate there has become too dangerous. Apparently, New Mexico is a lot friendlier. Unfortunately, not as many jobs. Pedro even tried to get legal though an immigration lawyer and lost $2500 in the process.
  

• I don't understand. If an immigrant is contributing to society, paying taxes, speaks English, and even pays a fine for their initial infraction of crossing over illegally, what's the problem? Why would anyone be against a path for longtime residents like Hector to become legal? I'm trying to be fair and open-minded to the other side, but I can't stop one specific reason from popping into my head. Perhaps Hector would have a better time of it if his name was Henry. (Gary's piece is below.)

• From Joe Johns we learned that Lindsay Lohan is out of jail. Praise the Lord! My life can go on. Says Joe: "probably, the people who run the lockup are just as happy as she is that she's out of there and on her way to rehab." Oh, Joe. Such a jokester. Apparently, Anderson was amused too, his laugh turning into a coughing fit. Still with the cough, Silver Fox? You're making me worry!

• Ruh roh, people. Time to break out the ridiculous graphics: Dems Under Attack! Charlie Rangel is feeling the heat and now Maxine Waters might be in some trouble. So..., um, that's two Democrats. Yeah, this segment angle is totally warranted. Our punditry for "Raw Politics" includes Paul (again) and Reihan Salam. Blah, blah, blah.

• Of note is Paul claiming that Republicans are blocking immigration reform. Anderson: " Is that true, Reihan?" What? Why are you asking the partisan that question? This is why we need you. All the cojones talk is subjective and worthless. Viewers want the facts. Don't pass the fact-y questions to other people. Also? Referencing Bill Kristol again? How many years am I going to have to go over this? The man is never right. Why on earth would anyone listen to someone with his track record? It's like there is zero accountability in punditry.
  

• Three inmates escaped from prison in Arizona. Can't say I'm all that interested, but I guess the nationwide manhunt makes it more than just a local story. I'm not sure the interview with Charles Ryan was really necessary though.
  

• Back in the Gulf, we had Tom Foreman live to talk about the static kill plan. Yes, he comes bearing a prop, but after the trashcan hilarity, it's a little unimpressive. Later, he whips out the iPad because apparently he is unable to be more than two feet from Magic Wall-like technology at any given time. I think it's actually in his contract. Also? He's in the Gulf; where is his tight t-shirt? I don't feel like you're fully being a team player here, Tom.

• I like that Tom flummoxed the Silver Fox with math. If he's bad again in the future, I shall make him do the quadratic formula. (Tom's segment below.)

• The show wasn't too bad. Kinda panel heavy. I could have done without the politics discussion all together since there really wasn't much there. And since Anderson actually did his moderating job, we really didn't need Paul to go up against Senator Pearce. You don't always have to "balance" it out, guys. Pearce was the newsmaker. As long as he's held accountable, that's what matters. Anyway. Lately I've been judging the show by how much I want to kill Anderson (with love, people!). Tonight? Not at all, actually. Yay for non murderous feelings!
  

• This bullet point contains a cat playing a piano. Because why not!