Anderson Cooper Vs. Stephen Colbert: Oh, It's On!

Hi all. I wasn't feeling very bloggy again, but who could resist posting this bit of hilarity? Mr. White Bread Ripple's delivery is getting pretty good. Stephen, I believe it's your move.

This Exists: Pee Wee Herman & Andy Samberg Drunkenly Beat The Crap Out Of Anderson Cooper

Because the world can never have too much bizarre hilarity, let's all watch the Silver Fox get his ass handed to him by the dude known for the Tequila Dance:

Happy New Year!!!

Hey kids! Yep, I'm late. But since this has become standard operating procedure for me, really, I'm right on time. It's the rest of you that are annoyingly early. See how that works?! Anyhoo, this is your post o' fun involving CNN's New Year's hijinks. Once again, we watched the ball drop with Kathy Griffin and Anderson Cooper--torturer and torturee.

Opinions of Kathy can run the gamut from love to downright hostility, but I find myself somewhere in the middle. Sometimes she cracks me up; sometimes she really doesn't. My view is that if you went into the broadcast with the belief that she was going to be annoying, that's probably how things turned out for you. But I went in ready for fun, and fun was had.

Ms. Griffin informed us that due to her past behavior (ahem!), the network had promised to literally yank her off the show if she stepped out of line. Suuure, CNN. Cute. So yeah, obviously that wasn't going to happen, but it allowed for some fun with a "No Swearing" sign. Because if there's anything that makes Kathy mind her P's and Q's, it's signage.

Are you ready for the bullet points?! Though their overuse in 2010 has perhaps worn down the specialness of these posts, I assure you I tried very hard to make them extra shiny and awesome. Time to jump into 2011:

• What better way to kick things off than with our duo regaling us with their adventures in crashing Carson Daly's live show? Also a great reminder that Daly continues to exist!

• This is the obligatory bullet point where I state that I could watch Anderson Cooper giggle all day. Extremely dorky, but he works it!

• Ok, Kathy, I can (shamelessly) get behind the molesting and undressing of the Silver Fox, but the punching needs to go. No bruising of the anchor!

• In years past, the broadcast featured New Orleans. For 2010, Nashville got the love due to their struggles with flooding. Brooke Baldwin rocking out the cowboy hat was a sight, though not quite the sight as the weird guy behind her. Anderson and Kathy giggling about him like high schoolers was mean yet hilarious: "Don't turn around!"

• Is anyone else worried that the meshing of New Kids on the Block and the Backstreet Boys will result in some sort of apocalyptic event? ZOMG, is that why all those birds died?!

• Throughout the night, Kathy asked Anderson Twitter questions (no people, I didn't tweet one). One question was who won the World Cup, which he never answered. This makes one of my friends very sad inside (shout out, bb!).

• Was really excited to see Sushi back. I thought she was retiring. It's not New Year's unless a drag queen drops in a pump.

• We also had Gary Tuchman back doing the four mile Fun Run in Central Park with his daughter Samantha. It's impossible to not love Gary. "I'm talking to a banana right now...I've never met this banana before." Bwah! And, "It's a dance party," complete with semi-boogying. Adorable.

• I think I'm over being horrified about Anderson's glasses. They've grown on me, Silver Fox! Now please wear them.

• One of the funniest moments to me was Jack Gray's little cameo at the hands of our anchor. Anderson should always just randomly man-handle his staffers into the shot.

• Kathy: "You know, your staff, they really run rampant." Truth. (And I love it.)

• Gloria Vanderbilt phone in! I love how it said "Anderson's Mom" on screen.

• Another tweeter asked what was our anchor's favorite curse word. "I don't tolerate such talk," said the Silver Fox. Oh Anderson, you adorable liar you. Me thinks Mr. WASP has a secret potty mouth.

• Isha Sesay is a great addition, but is she unaware of our anchor's aesthetic appeal? A crowd-goer excitedly relayed her picture-taking with the Silver Fox, and Isha was all, "ohhkay." Ha!

• Well! I'd say our Jack Gray has really come out of his shell. It was only about two years ago when a friend and I demanded politely asked him to post a picture of himself on the 360 blog, and now...dude's gone a little slutty! Kidding. But I was definitely a bit shocked by that make out session with Kathy. I literally asked someone, "did that really just happen?" Oh, it did. Plus? This.

• Not enough camera time on our duo when the ball dropped. What did we miss???
  

• Twitter question: What does Anderson smell like? I reject Kathy's long answer. I have it on good authority that the Silver Fox smells like peppermint sticks and truth!

• I feel out of breath just watching Gary running and talking. I don't know how he does it. Samantha was by his side and as cute as ever. A teenager now! How did that happen? (Gary's probably wondering the same thing-heh.) I feel like I'm watching this child young lady grow up one mile at a time. Also? Her shark hat was awesome.

• Anderson: "How great is Gary Tuchman?" So great! Even Kathy couldn't bring herself to mock him: "By the way, you know, I can't bring myself to make fun of Gary Tuchman anymore. I used to love to make fun of him, but after I saw him with you in Haiti and the Gulf disaster, he gets a pass this year." And more gratuitous Gary love from Anderson: "Gary Tuchman is the greatest guy on the planet." As I said on Twitter, damn straight!

• Anyone else get nervous when they drop Sushi? She's a trooper.

• John Zarrella cracks me up. Every year, just chilling with the drag queens. And I think he loves it. Plus? Cher.
  

• Did the Silver Fox dance for a second?!

• This is what you look like when your famous mother becomes besties with the woman who molests you and you're disturbed by the whole situation:

• This was about the end of the road for Kathy and Anderson, lest they again get heckled by the few stragglers left in Times Square. While I would have preferred to do my countdown with this duo, at least CNN threw the central time zoners a little love by staying live with Brooke Baldwin through our midnight. My Seacrest reprieve!

• More Gary and Samantha! Post-race this time. No actual win for them (sad face), but according to Samantha, it was a moral victory. Those are the best kind!

• All together now: Awww!
  

• Gary was also kind enough to give the behind-the sceners a little love. There was Bob the cameraman (congrats on the marriage!), Deb the technician, and one of my favorite 360 kids, Joneil* the producer.

• Our correspondent explains that, no, the crew did not run with him--instead they had the luxury of sitting on a truck. Now, Gary is too nice to say it, but I think the implication of slackerdom was clearly there. Brooke, by the way, just flat out says they were "cheating."
  

• When it comes to the behind-the-sceners it wasn't all just truck-riding and making out with divas--some of the 360 kids brought a little class to the occasion.

• I think that's about it. Twas fun. Thanks to everyone who participated on the Twitter.
  

• Below is gratuitous hilarity. It was that kind of night.

*AC360 Review does not endorse that hat.

Interlude

Hi everyone. I've recently had a bit of extra work on my plate, so I'm taking a blogging break. I think I picked a good time. These last two shows? Meh. The Pat Tillman segment was great, and Anderson Cooper appears to still be rocking the honesty-keeping in the form of challenging guests (I say "appears" because I've done some channel surfing). But they're going too sensational for my tastes again. Kicking off the broadcast with the Michelle Obama non controversy? Really, 360?

Anyway. I don't have a day in mind for returning to blogging. Maybe tomorrow night; maybe not until next week. Check back, and as always, I'm rocking the Twitter. For now, I shall leave you with a treat involving our anchor. CNN isn't always the greatest with getting videos up on their site, so I sometimes find myself searching the YouTube to bring you fine folks content. As you might imagine, searching the Silver Fox's name can result in some, uh, interesting results. Every once in a while I come across something that's, well, one of a kind. The video below is both weird and hilarious--one perhaps more than the other. This is your career, Anderson Cooper! (Keep watching, trust me.) And you thought bloggers had a lot of time on their hands...

New Trouble For The American Missionaries, Afghanistan Offensive, Updating Previous Live Haiti Coverage, And Michelle Bennett's Haiti Robbery

Hi everyone. The broadcast continues to come at us live from Haiti, and we're beginning with the ever-increasing drama involving those American missionaries arrested for child kidnapping.

Karl Penhaul tells us that Salvadoran police believe that Jorge Puello, legal adviser for the American's, might actually be Jorge Torres Orellana, a man wanted in El Salvador for child trafficking. Holy Shocking Twist, Batman! So...yeah, that's bad. But it's important to point out that it has not yet been proven (fingerprints needed) that it's the same man.

We then go to Dan Simon for the response from the American's church. They're skeptical and seem to support Puello. Apparently, the guy cold called the church offering his services, and was then put in contact with Sean Lankford whose wife and daughter are in Haiti. And that's pretty much how the hiring took place.

For his part, Puello denies ever even being in El Salvador or even having a passport. But as Karl points out, one wonders how he got into Haiti (he's from the Dominican Republic) without a passport. Hm.

BREAKING NEWS! The real kind, I think. There's a new NATO offensive happening in Afghanistan against the Taliban stronghold in the city of Marjah. Atia Abawi joins us by phone and we learn this is the largest NATO operation since the war began in 2001. Sounds like it's going to be a pretty intense battle. Thoughts and prayers for our troops.

This news is a weird coincidence, in that just today I was thinking of how Afghanistan has once again become the forgotten war (don't even get me started on Iraq). I had even planned to mention it in this post. The other day I discovered that CNN has a blog dedicated to the country. It's definitely worth your time.

On now to an Anderson Cooper piece that takes us to the national day of mourning prayer service. It has been one month since the quake devastated Haiti. Today, a huge crowd assembled to remember, to pray, and to celebrate life. For us watching at home, the month has been like any other. For Haitians, their suffering has spanned greater than any increment of time, their recovery measured only in inches.

Our anchor takes the next piece as well, this one updating us on the situation at General Hospital. There is improvement, yes. But the tears of the workers show that things aren't close to being acceptable. We listen to a nurse practitioner cry as she tells us there is nothing she can do for a rape victim. The resources just don't exist.

There still aren't enough supplies. There still isn't enough help. The workers are frustrated and heartbroken. They deliver babies and are then forced to send the mother out onto the streets a few hours later. What will become of these people? For additional related reading, give this New York Times piece a click.

Moving on to a Sanjay Gupta piece that updates us on Kimberly, the 12-year-old girl who had cement in her brain. Sanjay operated on her on the USNS Comfort and she looks to be doing well. Both he and her rescuer reunited with her and brought her to her father. Sadly, her mother and sister are dead, her home destroyed. The report is below:



After Sanjay's piece, he talks with Anderson about how difficult things are for these children and how upended their lives are now. "I don't know how the story ends. I want to come back," says Sanjay. Hopefully he'll get the chance to report that ending.

INTERLUDE: Okay, so this is the part where a blogger's satellite goes out. But! Only CNN. It's like the forces are conspiring against me. So I flipped over to the Olympics, and O Canada, WTF? Television should always contain giant light up bears and a boy band member-looking Tinkerbell-wannabe flying through the air. Just sayin'.

Okay, never fear. I caught the rest during a repeat. Anderson and Sanjay have a lot more updates for us. They tracked down little Monley, who you might remember is staying with an uncle who can't really afford to care for him. There have been some snags regarding the aunt who wanted to take him in. Also, Monley has not been told his parents are dead. So sad.

Then there was 70-year-old Ana Zizi, who was rescued a week after the quake. She was initially taken to a clinic, then the USNS Comfort, and finally ended up in a rehab center in Font Parisienne where she is reportedly doing well.

We also met little Johnny, who had a broken leg. He was airlifted to an orphanage called Danita's Children and is in good condition. Johnny begins school next week. Currently, the orphanage is not processing any adoptions.

Finally, there is the case of the man allegedly pulled from the rubble just recently. Doctors say they believe it, and have been able to determine that he had access to muddy water. Apparently he lost 60 pounds. Wow.

From Anderson: "...you know, in movies the end of the story is they're pulled out of the rubble, and you know, in the United States they would get a book deal or a movie of the week or something. And here they're just one more person in the crowd." Sanjay then notes that the last man they talked about is now known worldwide, but he has no where to go. Sobering thoughts.

Next up, we have a piece from Abbie Boudreau that continues her investigation of how the Duvalier family robbed millions from Haiti. Previously, she focused on Jean-Claude, AKA Baby Doc. Tonight the spotlight is shown on his wife, Michelle Bennett, the real power behind the duo. Michelle only wanted the best in life, and she went so far as to steal from charities to achieve her goal.

Her wedding cost a record-breaking (seriously, it was in "The Guinness Book of World Records") three million dollars. Even her decorator had access to government accounts. It's estimated that Michelle and her husband stole at least $500 million from the Haitians. They got away with it because they had their own assassin squad who took out political opponents.

Michelle now lives in a Parisian penthouse, while Baby Doc keeps a much lower profile. Fun fact: at the time of their reign, 80 percent of Haitians were without clean drinking water. Investing $30 million probably could have resolved that problem. Again, they stole $500 million for a lavish lifestyle. Horrid, horrid people.

After Abbie's piece, Anderson tells us that he and his team might have actually seen Michelle at the Hotel Montana, but they can't be sure. Weird.

Finally tonight, we have a Reporter's Notebook from Anderson. The words are from his blog post, the photos from Getty Image's Jonathan Torgovnik. You can watch it below:



For some levity, take a look at this pic tweeted by cameraman Neil Hallsworth. It's nice that CNN doesn't discriminate against zombies when hiring their talent. (Aren't you glad we get to see the pretty version?)

The show was very good tonight. I'm assuming they're going home again--at least that's the vibe I got. Of course, it's very possible a final decision hasn't been made yet. After all, no one really said either way. I imagine at this point it might be hard to get the okay for more than one consecutive week, but hey, what do I know? The only thing I'm sure of is that the people we're watching on the ground are very committed to this story. And for that, I am thankful.

I forgot to mention this all week, but remember you can also find me on Twitter, as well as check out my Haiti Twitter list.

Bill Clinton Hospitalized, Live Haiti Coverage, And The 31st Anniversary Of The Iranian Revolution

Hi everyone. I'm short on time, so this is going to have to be one of those abbreviated blog posts. We begin with the scary news that Bill Clinton had two stents placed in his coronary artery today after suffering chest discomfort.

From Jessica Yellin we learn that one graft of his previous quadruple bypass surgery was blocked, but the procedure went fine and he will go home tomorrow. She also tells us that Clinton's doctor was very clear that this incident was not related to what some might call his crazy busy workload. So...whew! All is well.

But, well, this is CNN, so we must have ALL the angles and we must beat them to death. First up, the medical angle. How very convenient that Sanjay Gupta has been hanging with us anyway. So okay, obviously if you have a history like Clinton's and you start having chest pressure, you're going to want to get it checked out. Kinda a no brainer.

Remember how Jessica said none of this was due to the former president's workload? Well, next we're also joined by David Gergen, Candy Crowley, and Paul Begala to discuss...Clinton's workload. Right then. David tells us, "Americans know now he has a big, big heart, but just not a very strong heart." ORLY? Thank you, Dr. Gergen. I was not aware you were also a cardiologist.

Sanjay actually previously interviewed Clinton about his quadruple bypass, so...to the vault! Yeah, it's clip time. Anderson Cooper is worried about how this heart stuff can pop up on you so suddenly like this. Nobody tell him about aortic dissections. Seriously, that stuff is scary.

Anyway, then everyone is talking about Clinton again and how much he cares about others' health, and yay for that and everything, but dudes he's not dead. I mean, c'mon. The Gerg tells us..."his passion level is extremely high." Am I just supposed to let that go? I mean, remember who you're talking about. Fine. Fine. I'll be good.

Transitioning to Karl Penhaul live for our nightly update on the arrested American missionaries. Well, it is now Thursday, the day when possible conditional release was expected. But from Karl we learn, sorry missionaries, no bail for you! (Sorry, can't resist a good Soup Nazi reference.) Actually, no real decision has been made. It's just that the judge who was going to rush things, uh, didn't. So now the attorney general has to look at it and then it'll get passed back to the judge and...complicated! Bye Karl, I guess we'll catch you tomorrow.

Up next, we have an Anderson Cooper piece set at Mercy and Sharing Orphanage, and it is filled with adorableness! Our anchor holds a baby and plays with other children. Yes, yes, let the "awwwws!" commence. Cue round two of the Enquirer rumors (kidding).

Anyway! Now that we have that out of our systems, the meat of this story is actually pretty cool. The orphanage has 106 children, 70 percent of which are mentally or physically disabled. Some are even terminally ill. All were abandoned prior to the earthquake.

Raphaelle Chenet, the administrator of the facility, believes in caring for and educating these children in Haiti, so they can grow up in their own country. They will be accepting 100 additional children (victims of the quake) upon government approval. You can learn how to help them at haitichildren.com. (Update: piece is below. Behold the cuteness.)



Moving back to the live shot, we're given an update on little Kenzie who was treated on the USNS Comfort and recently reunited with his family. We're shown some video, and man, that kid has a great smile. Sanjay tells us Kenzie's been telling people that he's been on TV a lot and people like to take his picture. So cute! Future Superstar!

Transitioning to Ivan Watson in the studio for coverage of the 31st anniversary of the establishment of the Islamic Republic of Iran. Big day! Also? Does this mean 360 has heard my request for them to adopt Ivan? Let it be so! As for the news, Ahmadinejad did his speech thing, while the state media played it all out like everything was hunky-dory. Meanwhile, protesters are getting beaten in the streets.

I've really been slacking on the Iran stuff lately. Yes, I am shame-faced. But I've found CNN's Iran Twitter list to be worth a look, and as previously, Andrew Sullivan is all over it when it comes to this subject. Also, it should be noted that Gibbs is calling BS on the Iranian enrichment claims.

Candy Crowley has the "360 Bulletin" again, and unfortunately suffers what appears to be a case of broken prompter. Yikes, it gets painful. Then Anderson weirdly interrupts her in the middle of it to start asking questions, which was either cluelessness on his part or a very sweet act of chivalrous rescuing. I report, you decide.

Back to all the Clinton stuff and Joe Johns gets brought into the game (hey, why not?). Also? Animation! As in, of the heart. Then we have Sanjay and Anderson talking about Clinton's crappy genetics, which leads to them talking about their own crappy genetics. Great, now I'm thinking of my crappy genetics. Raise your hand if your dad died of heart disease. The club of which no one wants to be a member.

On now to a Sanjay piece on the follow up care situation in Haiti. Things are better in that they're now able to give care for ailments other than acute quake related injuries, but the big question is how are these people going to recover. They're living in dirty tent cities and the rainy season promises to bring infectious diseases. Mobile units are working on immunizations, but will it be enough?

Plus, after his piece, Sanjay tells us that hospital discharge instructions are often written in English (brilliant!) and even if the Haitians could read them, there are no pharmacies to get supplies anyway. The doctors are hoping the patients will return for medication, and follow up care can be provided at that time. That's a big bet.

Finally tonight, we have a Randi Kaye piece on the suicide of famous designer Alexander McQueen. I feel like a bit of a fashion failure given that I've never heard of this guy. But I can see his influence on Lady Gaga, so there's that. Give me a break. I'm from the Midwest. And also, I don't care. I mean, I care that he killed himself. That's very sad. He was only 40. It sounds like he might have been distraught over his mother's death, which occurred about a week ago. Again, sad.

The show was okay. I think they went a little heavy with the Clinton stuff, though I'm not denying it was a big story. It was good to see Ivan. More international reporters please. Anyway, that'll do it.

Snowgasm, Live Reporting From Haiti, And Investigating Dictator Jean-Claude 'Baby Doc' Duvalier

Hi everyone. I'm not sure if you've heard, but it seems part of the country has been experiencing a bit of snow recently. We begin the broadcast with Gary Tuchman coming at us live from New York. See, this is the part where the correspondent is forced out of the nice warm studio and made to stand in the bitter cold in order to demonstrate to we the viewers that, yes, it is snowing. For his part, Gary plays his role well, avoiding all mishaps that are common with these kind of live shots. No YouTubing for this guy!

Anyway! Amidst all this, a comically large graphic screeching "Blizzard 2010" goes across the screen. If you manage to survive Snowpocalypse, also beware the human-swallowing graphics. They then employ the use of the Magic Wall (hey, why not?) to give us all the record-breaking details. Basically? There's a lot of snow.

In many places conditions are FUBAR. Don't even ask about the airports, people. As Gary throws it back to Anderson live in Haiti, we witness a pretty bizarre split screen. Bundled-up snowy Gary and t-shirt-ed sweaty Anderson Cooper. This is normally where I would mock the one enjoying the warm temps, but our anchor is in Haiti, so yeah, not so much.

We're then transition to an Anderson piece set in the wreckage of the National Nursing College. The remains of about 100 students are still on site. The security guard of the school, Joseph Charles, now spends his days trying to find those students--or at least what's left--so they can be properly buried. Eric Jones, a volunteer from Washington D.C., has been helping him, though the language barrier makes communication difficult.

The men are working against time, or more literally, a government bulldozer that treats all debris as trash--whether it contains human remains or not. Three days ago they found the bodies of 10 nurses and put them on the side of the road to be collected by the government. But the government never came. Dogs did. Bones were all that was left behind. Awful.

We're next joined live by Karl Penhaul for an update on the American missionaries. There is now an application pending for bail on conditional release. If all goes well for them, they could be free to leave Haiti on Thursday. Then if charges are dropped, I guess that is that. Otherwise, they'll have to return for trial. There are a lot of moving parts here. This case has become bigger than 10 people. I hope justice is truly served.

On now to a Sanjay Gupta piece that further expands on that surprising fact about Medicare we learned last night. We meet Jean Chery, a quake victim who was badly burned when a propane tank exploded. His injuries were severe enough that he needed better care than anyone in Haiti could provide, so he was flown to the United States. Medicare then pays 110 percent for hospitals to treat patients such as Jean, with the money coming from the National Disaster Medical System.

Apparently, the extra 10 percent is supposed to be an incentive so hospitals won't have to worry about extra costs during a disaster. Is that really an issue here? I don't think our hospitals are being flooded with Haitians. Anyway, Sanjay tracked down the man's wife and let him talk to her by phone, so that was nice.

This is the part where your blogger gets a phone call. I missed most of the subsequent Tom Foreman piece in which he skis to work in Washington D.C. But amusement abounds. Now that's dedication. Are you watching this, Jon Klein? Tom tells us it took him three hours to get to his office, which is the same amount of time it took me to drive to my university the year we had a snowstorm during finals. (I was too poor to live near campus.) I love the sound of snow scraping the bottom of my car as I drive. Good times!

Moving on to an Abbie Boudreau piece that investigates just what happened to Haiti's money. Turns out? Dictators happened. Francois 'Papa Doc' Duvalier saw some 60,000 Haitians killed under his reign. Then his son Jean-Claude Duvalier, AKA 'Baby Doc', took over and he and his wife pretty much robbed Haiti for all it was worth. The country became his personal bank account. Cars, jewelry. You name it, he seems to have bought it.

In 1986 he and his wife fled to France and then became entangled in a messy divorce where it appears she came out on top. There's still money in a bank in Geneva, which is the source of much litigation. These people are horrid. After the piece, Anderson reminds us that the U.S. supported the regime for years. This appears to have been a very well done investigation. It's good to see them starting to explore the more complicated angles of the Haiti story. You can find more info on the Duvaliers here.

Anderson then discusses the situation with Dan Erikson, a Caribbean Affairs analyst. Sounds like there are a lot more stories to explore.

Back to Snowmageddon! Not to be satisfied with just having him stand in the white stuff, CNN made Gary travel in it as well. In a piece from him, we learn that D.C. is a ghost town, but New York is a-jumping. Sled time!!! Remember, most New Yorkers don't drive, so they don't know the pure joy that is dealing with a frozen snow-covered car. The wipers that just won't come unstuck. The gracefulness of climbing in the passenger side when the driver's side door is frozen. And that's before you even attempt the commute. I HATE winter.

But our pal Gary skips the car and goes for the bus. He even interviews the driver while she's driving. Gotta give it up to her. Driving in New York scares me. Driving a bus scares me. Driving in snow scares me. Combining all three? Um, no thanks. Gary also talks to some passengers who seem unaffected by the snowgasm in their midst. One passenger is Rebecca Schull, and we are informed she "is an actress who you can see on reruns of the old NBC comedy Wings." How hilariously random. Well, I hope they all got where they were going.

The "shot" tonight is a Randi Kaye piece that goes all meta on our asses regarding Snowpocalypse. She posits that sometime the news peeps hype weather-related events and perhaps engage in some live shot silliness. Really?! I hadn't noticed. Randi goes on to give us what is essentially the snow-related version of this hilarious instructional video on how to report the news. Well played.

I guess that'll do it. The show continues to be good. I hope all my readers are warm. Yell if you need a shovel.

Anderson Cooper 360 Reports Live From Haiti With Coverage Ranging From Orphans To Quarantined Patients (Plus Snowpocalypse!)

Hi everyone. Like last night, we begin this broadcast with Anderson Cooper emphatically trying to portray the importance of the story of Haiti. He concedes it's falling out of the headlines and may seem repetitive, but the story deserves to continue to be told. In essence, he's shaking us all by the shoulders, yelling, "Care, world!"

Our first piece of the night is from our anchor, and it explores the challenge of helping kids who appear to be orphaned. We follow along with workers from Heartland Alliance as they attempt to locate family members of 10-year-old Stephanie Jacques (ph). Unicef does the same for five-year-old Kenzie Charles (ph), currently being treated on the USS Comfort. By a stroke of luck or divine intervention (I'll let you choose), the little boy's parents are located nearby. At least one family is having a good day.

Sanjay Gupta then joins Anderson to talk about the 28-year-old man allegedly pulled from the rubble after a month. He seems to be doing fairly well and is even requesting chocolate. If I hadn't eaten for a month, I think I'd be asking for every food known to man. Of course, he's no doubt not going to be able to eat much for a while.

From Sanjay, we learn that the man actually heard the bulldozers coming and feared he too would be scooped out and tossed in a dump truck like trash. Our doctor also tells us that in terms of emergent cases, things are improving. But the health of Haiti overall is very much up in the air. One wonders what the follow up situation is going to be like--if there is one at all.

Next up, we have a piece from Anderson that gives us a tour of one of the tent cities that have been popping up all over Port-au-Prince, where an estimated 450,000 are now homeless. Anderson explains that initially, people just used sheets to create their living quarters. As time goes on, however, they're beginning to scavenge for materials to make the structures more permanent.

Part of our tour occurs at night, and people are quite pleased to see our anchor, who informs us there might be a bit of drinking going on. Others are cooking and selling food. Team 360 also stumbles upon a very ill woman and subsequently secures her a way to the hospital. Somewhere in another tent city, there is another deathly ill woman with no television crew there to help her. The story of Haiti goes on.

Moving on now to a Karl Penhaul piece for the latest on the saga of the American missionaries. As we learned previously, the group actually tried to take another group of children from a tent city out of Haiti on a bus, and were prevented from doing so by a police officer. Karl finds a woman who says the missionaries offered to take her son and daughter, as her husband had died in the quake and she didn't think she could care for them. Ultimately she did not put her children on the bus.

But Karl also finds a boy who was forced onto the bus by his father. He didn't even know where he was going. An attorney for the group states he was not aware of this attempt to take children. Following Karl's piece, Anderson tells us that the little boy forced on the bus had been given toys by the Americans, but once the scheme failed, they actually asked for the toys back. How very Christian of them.

For a bit of levity, I double-checked this story against the transcript, and it says the missionaries gave the boy "Toyotas." Not quite as impressive as it would have been a few weeks ago.

Transitioning to...Snowpocalypse! SnOMG! And don't forget Snowmageddon. Kinda sad that this latest storm hasn't even happened yet and we've already blown the coolest names. Anyhoo! As you might have heard, there's some snow making it's way to the Big Apple, most of the East Coast, actually.

Chad Myers informs us that some of our CNN friends will be spending the night in a hotel to ensure they're able to deliver their regularly scheduled newsiness. As for my neck of the woods, I woke up, saw snow, heard the schools were closed, and contacted my boss to say I was moving my office day to tomorrow. Then, not three hours later, almost all the snow was gone from the streets. WTF? Snow fail. Was flippin' cold though.

Candy Crowley has the "360 Bulletin" tonight and Anderson makes sure to lavish on the praise regarding her debut broadcast as anchor of State of the Union. Last week she had noted she was a little nauseous about diving in. "No vomiting?" asks Anderson. Thankfully, Candy assures us that she refrained. "I think I might have vomited my debut on 360," says our anchor. TMI, Cooper. TMI.

On now to a Sanjay Gupta piece that takes us inside a tent of patients quarantined for tuberculosis. Yes, he wears a mask. Given how closely the Haitian population is currently living, spreading of TB is a big concern that could potentially have ramifications for us all if it begins to be carried by air travelers out of the country. Scary.

After Sanjay's piece, he discusses the issue with Anderson, who interrupts his own point about sanitation to identify and remove a bug from Sanjay's shirt. Hilariously random. But I'm thankful, since it was, uh, bugging me. Our anchor's about to have PETA on his tail. I mean, if the president couldn't even get away with it...

Next up, Anderson interviews Sean Penn. That's right, I said Sean Penn. Now, normally this is when I would hit DEFCON 5 in terms of needing to snark, but Penn is kinda the real deal and has apparently been working his butt off in Haiti the whole time. He talks about how proud he is of the U.S. military.

Anderson worries about the coming rains and the soon to be nonexistent coverage. He notes the Olympics are airing soon and fears people will get involved with watching that, forgetting about Haiti. I actually didn't think people cared all that much about the Winter Olympics, but was informed by friends that I am mistaken.

Sean thinks the games should be politicized in order to put the focus on Haiti. I can't help but think of the Kashmir quake that happened in October 2005. Remember that? Almost 80,000 people died. Sanjay traveled there that December as winter began to take hold. Everyone wondered what would happen to the homeless as it became bitterly cold.

I don't know the answer to that because Sanjay's reports are the last ones I remember. After that, the story of Kashmir just...disappeared. Haiti is probably an easier story to cover in terms of logistics, but I fear that might not be enough.

Part of Anderson's conversation with Sean is below. Because I was sincere with this celebrity segment, I now feel I must mock someone. (It's like an itch I need to scratch, people!) I believe my douchebag of choice is going to be Dr. Phil. After Katrina, like a lot of celebrities, he showed up in New Orleans looking to help. And hey, if he got some publicity for his show, all the better, right?

I remember I was with my brother watching the news when it was announced Dr. Phil was on his way. With completely sincere horror, I exclaimed, "My God, haven't these people been through enough already?!" Normally it's a line I would deliver with ironic intent, but I totally meant it, which drove my brother to practically fall on the floor laughing. Ah, memories. Seriously, what a douchebag.



Anderson and Sanjay then talk about the children being airlifted out of Haiti due to illness. We also learn that Medicare is paying 110 percent to hospitals in the United States to care for Haitian children. Um, what? Ruh Roh. My initial reaction is cue the outrage of people freaking over their tax dollars being used on Haitian kids. I don't know though. This one could go either way. Will it blow up into a big political thing or will it fall off the radar? Only time will tell. Discussion is below:



Moving on to a clip of Michelle Obama discussing childhood obesity on Larry King. A good topic and all, but are we seriously not going to talk about what's going on with Larry's hair?

Candy then returns with some more headlines, which ultimately leads to she and Anderson bitching about airline pillows and blankets. Bah. Quiet you babies. I've never even been offered one. We then move on to the "shot," which is Donna Brazile and Wolf Blitzer dancing. Sorta! Backing it up a bit, Donna got her groove thing on to the joy over the Saints' recent victory. She then asked the Wolfbot to join in, and he did--in his own special way. It kinda looks like this.

Donna then joins us in a little taped interview where she sings the praises of New Orleans' recovery and deems Anderson a "favorite son." Our anchor adds to the love-fest, name dropping some of his favorite restaurants in the area. "Anderson, next time you want some good Creole gumbo, come to Chez Donna, my house, baby," says Donna. Oh my! I do believe she is flirting. You lead the poor anchor along, but won't allow him to become your boo? Oh Donna. Such a tease!

Back with Candy again, she asks Anderson if he would have accepted a request from Donna to dance. Hmm readers, based on the history of forever, what do we think? Slow dance, probably. Anything else? Yeah, not so much. Candy actually seems a bit frightened of the Wolfbot dancing, as she should be.

Anderson reminds us of weird Blitzer facts: "Wolf loves the music, you know. He was in that band when he was a kid. And he claims he was in the original band called The Monkeys. He had a band that he claims predated the actually Monkees. But I'm not sure I believe him." Unlike Micky Dolenz, our anchor is not a believer. Apparently, there is a trace of doubt in his mind. (Monkee puns! Oh, they should pay me extra for this.)

That'll do it. The show was very good tonight. Keep on truckin', 360. We'll be here.

Anderson Cooper 360 Returns To Haiti, Update On The American Missionaries, Sarah Palin Keynotes Tea Party Convention, & Who Dat?!

Hi everyone. Sorry about the lack of Friday review. Sometimes you feel like blogging; other times you feel like vegging. But it's a new week, and we find ourselves back in Haiti. I'm not sure if technically one is allowed to be proud of people they've never met, but if it is, I am totally proud of Team 360 right now. I knew they would return to the country. There was never any doubt in my mind (and it should be noted that CNN as an organization never left). But it's still nice to witness the dedication.

Anderson Cooper begins by addressing the question of why he returned, a question he also explored in a blog post. He explains that the people on the ground aren't asking him why he returned, but rather why he ever left. I'm guessing he probably feels guilty about that. He shouldn't. I don't see any other major anchor in the country. Last week, Brian Williams was on The Daily Show talking about the three days he spent in Haiti. Now, I love me some BriWi, but three days? That's your classic parachute in, do the disaster tour, sayonara.

As for the week break, quite frankly CNN would be stupid to let any of their people stay in those conditions for an extended period of time. They are there to perform a job. Getting worn down to the point that you become an infection magnet isn't exactly helpful. But anyway, the video below is Anderson talking about why he returned and some of things he's seen upon his re-arrival:



There was amazing news today. Maybe. Anderson and Sanjay Gupta talk about a 28-year-old man who was allegedly pulled from the rubble alive nearly a month after the quake. I have to say, I'm pretty skeptical about this one. So much so that I didn't feel comfortable tweeting the news. Obviously, if true, the man must have had access to water. Otherwise there's no way in hell he would have survived and even then...it seems a little fishy. We may never know for sure.

From that potential miracle, we move into an Anderson piece that just kind of summarizes what the situation continues to be like on the ground. People are living in the street. Bodies are still being found, and subsequently buried in old graves (if they're lucky). There's heavy equipment being used to clean up, but destruction remains all around. People find new ways to make money, such as a man they come across selling electricity. All in all, improvement has been made, but Haiti remains plunged in misery.

Karl Penhaul then joins us live to talk about the case of the American missionaries charged with kidnapping. Earlier, Anderson noted how much coverage this controversy has been getting and reiterated there is much more to the story of Haiti. I'm glad he said that. Last week I noticed that their post-quake coverage had suddenly become strangely focused, but I didn't want to complain just yet. That's not to say, of course, that they shouldn't cover the missionaries. Karl tells us that the Laura Silsby-led group actually tried to take a whole other group of children before the current group and were stopped. So, yes, they are in big trouble.

Then we bounce back to Idaho to get the angle that Dan Simon has been covering. We learned the other day that the men and women have been separated. Dan was actually able to sit down with Renee Thompson, wife of Paul Thompson, one of the men arrested. We learn that Thompson received an email from Silsby (who he did not know), basically recruiting him for this trip. He went on to recruit four other men himself. Paul's wife claims he was not in the loop on the details, but rather thought he was going to do good with his handyman skills. This is both sad and totally messed up.

Next, we're joined by Frances Robles of the Miami Herald live on-the-ground with Anderson and Sanjay to talk about the fallout from this missionary mess. Apparently, sick kids are now being denied their promised flights out of the country because pilots are freaking out over all the questions they're being asked. I guess suddenly everyone is extra suspicious of those transporting children and no one wants to be arrested for trying to do a good deed. The result? Sick kids become dead kids. There has to be a better way.

The subject of keeping this story in the news also comes up, an issue I depressingly blogged about over a week ago. It's apparent that Anderson is worried about it, and hey, he's seen it before--there's no reason he shouldn't be worried. Frances, on the other hand, is more worried about the staying power of the aid agencies currently lending a hand in Haiti. I guess that will partly be the media's responsibility as well. If the help leaves and no one reports it, well, I don't even want to think out that.

On a silly note, you know that whole "Text 360" thing that I think is pretty stupid? Well, my feelings haven't changed on that, but tonight my girl Vanessa got her text read. So...shout out! That's pretty much all I have to say on that. Below is video of discussion between Anderson, Frances, and Sanjay:



Transitioning now to politics. Can I get a woo hoo? No? Okay. So, as you might have heard, the big Tea Party Convention has taken the country by storm. By storm, people! All 600 of them. I am completely flummoxed by the media's complete newsgasm over a stupid convention that only drew 600 people. Hell, I went to a media reform convention back in 2005 that had well over a thousand attendees. I'm pretty sure CNN didn't even know it existed, even with the attendance of Bill Moyers, Al Franken, and various members of Congress. My point here is WTF is up with the drooling over this convention?

Oh wait, I know what's up. And her name is Sarah Palin: Media Magnet. Ms. Maverick-y gave the keynote, and while she made sure to rag on Obama's use of the teleprompter, she failed to see the irony in using her hand as a crib sheet to remind herself to "lift American spirits." No, I'm not kidding. I wish I were kidding. So, to recap, the favored leader of the conservative movement likes to use her hand as a cheat sheet for hard words like "tax," and predominantly uses Facebook to communicate. Good lord, they're trying to elect a 14-year-old. It's like America is trapped in a scene from a really warped version of Freaky Friday.

That train wreck all came to us via a Randi Kaye piece, by the way. After covering the convention, I figure she deserves the credit. For discussion, we're next joined by Mary Matalin. Um, yeah, I don't think so. Even Anderson looks downright thrilled to be having this conversation. Yes, yes, I'm sure it'd be the same with a Democrat, but whatev.

Finally tonight,...who dat???!!! Yes, the New Orleans Saints won the Superbowl, which just so happens to have been the most-watched television program evah! In full disclosure, I should note that I neither like nor understand the game of football. But! My heart was totally rooting for New Orleans. I just, you know, didn't actually watch any of it. Hey man, ABC had Modern Family on. Don't judge me. Anyway! James Carville and Mary Matalin then join us to gloat. They're decked out in their Saints gear too. They're being, dare I say, almost enjoyable? Now see, why can't they be like this all the time? I mean, c'mon, is that whole politics thing really that necessary?

The "shot" tonight is a weatherman freaking the eff out over snowmageddon. SnOMG! Good times.

The show was pretty good. Obviously, they just got there and haven't had much time to really zero in on specific stories (besides the missionaries). As Anderson noted earlier, it's going to get harder to keep the reports fresh and find new angles. I tend to hang onto stories forever. (Wanna do a follow up on Katrina? I'll watch.) But most viewers aren't like me. Again, I really admire that Team 360 is back.

Anderson Cooper 360 Reports Live From Haiti, Hilarious Stimulus Reporting, Centrists, and Justice Alito's Joe Wilson Moment

Hi everyone. The 360 kids have wrestled control of their broadcast back from Wolf Blitzer and his merry gaggle of pundits. Anderson Cooper is once again coming at us live from Haiti and we start things off by viewing video of people singing and dancing in the street, a sight that occurred just minutes before the show began. We then get a recap of recent Haiti news. Since last we met our heroes, a 16-year-old girl was amazingly pulled out of the rubble alive, and the Haitians performed a distribution of aid gone wrong.

Gary Tuchman and Sanjay Gupta then join Anderson at the live shot for some explainers. From Gary we learn that the rescued girl had been entombed in her bathroom, leaving her unharmed. She had been presumed dead, but then yesterday neighbors heard a sound and French rescuers eventually pulled her out. For the "how" of this seemingly unbelievable story, Sanjay notes that she must have had access to water to be able to survive this long, and even then, it's still amazing. Here's a pretty good write-up of the situation that's worth reading.

From glimmers of hope from the living, we next transition to disrespect of the dead. Those following the coverage know that Anderson has been reporting on the mass graves he and his crew saw with their own eyes, still uncovered weeks after the quake. Raymond Joseph, Haiti's ambassador to the U.S., finally got back to Team 360, speaking with a producer. Anderson relays their conversation. Joseph is not happy with our anchor's prior reporting, and deflects responsibility by noting he is not on the ground and "not God." Was the last part ever actually on the table as a possibility?

Through Anderson, we learn that the producer went on to ask if Joseph had spoken to the Haitian government...and then eventually the ambassador just hung up. Allow me to do my best Stephanie Tanner impression: How rude! So, that avenue got them nowhere. But Anderson was also able to personally speak with Marie Laurence Jocelyn Lassegue, the Haitian Communications Minister. When our anchor confronts her about the mass graves, she actually flat out denies what he's telling her. Wow. "Yes. I have seen it with my own eyes," says Anderson. And he's shared it with CNN's worldwide audience. Her ignorance is rather astounding.

Anderson then moves the focus onto CNE, the state-run company in charge of dumping the bodies. Jocelyn-Lassegue states they're doing a good job. Really now? In the end, she claims she'll look into things, so I guess all we can do is wait and see. I think it's great the way Team 360 is pursuing this. It's smart to go after the company. Good reporting. On a related note, I guess Anderson is in a feud with Joseph now. Think this much more important story will get as much press as the Lohan spat? You already know the answer to that.

Moving on now to a Sanjay piece on Haiti's newborns. We're introduced to an infant who is seven weeks premature. If he was in the states, he'd be in an incubator. Instead, he is in a hot tent, flies buzzing around his tiny body. Whether or not he will survive is an unanswered question. There is also a growing concern that the women giving birth are now vulnerable to trafficking and abuse. Hopefully these fears will go unfounded.

Following Sanjay's piece, Anderson talks with Dr. Jane Aronson, pediatrician, about Haiti's orphans. She contends that excepting those children already set to go home to a new family, adoption is actually not the best thing for Haiti's kids right now. You can read Dr. Aronson's journal from Haiti here.

Transitioning now back to the states, and Tom Foreman has taken Ali Velshi's place at the stimulus desk. The binder fort has been demolished to make way for a binder skyscraper that is taller than Tom. Okay, now I think they're trying to get on The Daily Show. Anyway! Tom gives us a little preview of some stimulus projects, but we're going to have to wait until a later segment to find out if they're truly stimulus-y. Oh, cliffhanger!

Moving on to Anderson interviewing John Avalon, centrist guy pundit. Honestly, I don't even really believe in centrists/independents. To me they seem like they're either 1) Simply not that politically informed/engaged. 2) In denial. Or 3) Are lying in order to appear neutral/because they believe the label will give them more credibility when they argue their true secret ideology. Pick a side you wusses! I realize that centrist doesn't exactly equate to an "undecided" in an election, but while watching this segment, a friend reminded me of a fantastic quote from David Sedaris regarding the 2008 race:

To put them in perspective, I think of being on an airplane. The flight attendant comes down the aisle with her food cart and, eventually, parks it beside my seat. “Can I interest you in the chicken?” she asks. “Or would you prefer the platter of shit with bits of broken glass in it?”

To be undecided in this election is to pause for a moment and then ask how the chicken is cooked.

I mean, really, what’s to be confused about?

To be clear, I don't think everyone falls in neat little political packages and a Democrat could never vote for a Republican (and vice versa). That would be insane. But why WHY is the magical center always deemed the best place to be? From my vantage point, the center seems to be the place where good legislation goes to die. Yes, both parties contain annoying partisans. That does not make them equal. Please stop trying to balance everything. And how has Obama governed too far to the left? Was it the universal healthcare? Gay marriage equality? The "left" was never even on the table. In conclusion, I have to say, John Avalon looks like a political Ken doll. Not even like a real person. Perfect for punditry.

On now to Jeffrey Toobin talking about Supreme Court Justice Alito's little Joe Wilson moment. While Obama talked about (and kinda dissed) a recent decision, the justice mouthed the words "not true." Toobin goes on to explain that there might be some bad blood in the relationship because Obama didn't vote for Alito's confirmation. And during a courtesy call Obama had with the court, Alito was the only justice missing. Oh no he di int! Then there's the whole issue of the Lilly Ledbetter Act being the first bill Obama signed into law, which overruled one of Alito's decisions. So, yeah, they're not BFFs. You can read more from Toobin here, and Anderson urges you to read his book as well, which is nice of him.

Back to Tom, to fill us in on those stimulus projects he mentioned earlier. I'm not really going to go into this, but I didn't understand the hand-wringing over the high speed train. Tom did a pretty nice job explaining, I guess I'm just baffled that there's an issue regarding the infrastructure. This is what Obama campaigned on. He never promised the infrastructure would be cheap or fast.

Next up, we have a Randi Kaye piece that is quite amusing. Randi's done a fine job. My mocking is directed at Senators McCain and Coburn, both who have their boxers in a twist over stimulus money going to a Napa Valley wine train. Or is it? Dubbing the project the "stimulus waste express," the senators are playing on images of hoity-toity rich people eating their fancy-pants lunch as they travel in style (on our tax dollars--ZOMG!). Except, well, the money isn't actually for the train. It's for raising the train tracks to complete a massive flood control project. Research fail! That's embarrassing.

We wrap of the hour with Karl Penhaul and Ivan Watson discussing a food distribution that went bad, as well as the efforts to restart the power grid. As always, the Haiti coverage was great, but I think they also did a good job tonight balancing in the other stories. I thought the stimulus reporting was better, though I still don't understand why they insist on the pointless previews that just waste time. I don't want to go to Tom just to hear Tom tell me what he's going to talk about later, you know? Anyway, that'll do it.

Post State Of The Union Punditry And Live From Haiti For Literally About Two Or Three Minutes

Hi everyone. Happy State of the Union Day! Our cup runneth over with pundits tonight, so I actually don't have a huge amount to say. President Obama's speech was very good (and very long--ZOMG!), but talk is cheap. I'm more concerned with what he's going to do. I would have liked to have heard more dedication to health care reform, and while the mention of Don't Ask Don't Tell was very welcome, it was briefer and less forceful than initial reports insinuated.

The Republican response from Virginia Governor Bob McDonnell was pretty unmemorable, so I'll call it an almost-win for the GOP. No appearance of Kenneth the Page tonight. Say what you want about the party of old white men, they know how to diversify a back drop.

CNN was of course ready and waiting with their army of pundits the minute the festivities ended. Tonight The Best Political Team on Television (TBPTOT) welcomed newbie Erick Erickson of Redstate.com. First of all, who names their kid Erick when your last name is already Erickson? Somewhere a John Johnson would love to weigh in on this. Anyway, second of all? Do. Not. Want. Another conservative. Awesome.

I hope you like polls and focus groups, because CNN had them coming out the wazoo. I don't think a one of them was statistically significant, but I suppose that's neither here nor there at this point. I mean, how do they know what states people are tweeting from? Despite my parade-raining, I actually think the snap polls are one of the best things to happen to politics ever. It used to be that the public's opinion was shaped by the pundits, but now the pundit's opinions are shaped by the public's polling.

Watching this occur in real-time during the 2008 debates was nothing short of hilarious. The debate would end and though it was always pretty clear Obama had won, many of the pundits/analysts/reporters would chatter about how close it was. This wasn't due to a bias toward McCain, but rather a bias toward conflict. No conflict, no story. Then the snap polls would come out declaring Obama the winner and TBPTOT would spin, spin, spin to fit the new narrative. As I said, hilarious.

The only thing to write home about from the bloviators tonight, was the near shouting match that broke out during the discussion of Supreme Court Justice Samuel Alito's little Joe Wilson moment. (No, no one yelled this time, but it seems there was a bit of mouthing.) Alex Castellanos actually tried to argue that the president shouldn't criticize the Supreme Court. Puhlease. Yeah, that did not go over well.

The whole reason I was even watching all this hot air was because it was during 360's hour and we had been promised Haiti coverage. Eventually, Anderson Cooper and Sanjay Gupta did join us, looking like two guys who've spent two-plus weeks in hell (which they kinda have), wondering why they're standing there being asked about the State of the Union address. So, Anderson said a few words on the president's comments regarding Haiti and Sanjay touched on health care reform and...that was that.

Literally they were on air less than five minutes. They probably wouldn't want me to be, but I am annoyed on their behalf. Seriously CNN, you couldn't give the Haiti team the night off? I think most viewers would understand. Then maybe they could have been sleeping (or working on something that would allow them to be sleeping later) instead of hanging around a live shot, waiting for Blitzer to shut up and throw to them. It's not like the SOTU was a surprise. Maybe they wanted the airtime. I dunno. Seemed pretty pointless.

I guess that'll about do it. Most of the fun of a SOTU happens live while people are reacting. Was there any site that didn't live-blog that thing? That's how you learn things, like, Chris Matthews said, "I forgot [Obama] was black for an hour tonight." For serious. No word on whether or not that hour contained a thrill up his leg. Anyway! I myself live-tweeted. As always, you can follow me at @newsjunkie365. Back to more Haiti tomorrow.

Anderson Cooper 360 Reports Live From Haiti, The Louisiana Watergate, And More Stimulus Nonsense

Hi everyone. Tonight's broadcast begins with a focus on the Americans caught up in the Haiti disaster, an estimated 4500 to 5000 who are now listed as missing. This moves us into a very disturbing piece from Anderson Cooper. Though workers are still combing through the rubble of the Hotel Montana, a lot of debris throughout Port-au-Prince will simply have to be bulldozed. We're reminded of a man who had been looking for his American family member after the quake. It turns out that the woman's husband later found her corpse and was in the process of getting a coffin, when the Haiti government took her body away. Now he doesn't know where she's buried.

Our CNN friends talked with both the State Department and the U.S. Embassy about the situation, but no one seems to have any idea what's going on. This, unfortunately, is just one case. Unbelievably, the mass graves we saw after the quake still have not been sealed. Limbs haphazardly stick out of the ground. No respect for the dead. This clearly infuriates our anchor, as it should. After his piece, Anderson informs us that they called Haiti's Ambassador to the U.S., Raymond Joseph, as well as the Haitian government. No one is willing to come on the show.

I was going to make a Landrieu joke here, but Anderson's final words on the subject take away the desire: "... for a government to treat their own civilians or foreign civilians like this is simply unconscionable. The dead deserve better than that. And certainly so do the living." Below is Anderson's piece, along with the calling out of Joseph and the Haitian government. Warning: graphic.



Moving on now to an interview with Lauren Bruno, daughter of Richard Bruno, who is among the missing at the Hotel Montana. It's a sad conversation. We also learn that the man pulled out of the rubble today after allegedly 14 days may have actually only been trapped for an hour. That's quite a difference.

Next up, we have a piece from Christiane Amanpour on the garment industry in Haiti. The country produces t-shirts for popular American stores like the Gap. Low wages, high quality, you know the drill. Until recently, the industry had been crippled due to the country's checkered governmental history, as well as a U.S. embargo. But new U.S. legislation had resulted in a boom and things were thriving. Then came the earthquake. Capitalism is very unsympathetic, so now workers are scrambling to get the factories up and running before they find their jobs moved elsewhere. Good luck to them. You can view Christiane's report below.



Transitioning back to the states, where we find Ali Velshi surrounded by binders filled with stimulus projects. Oh my God, he built a binder fort! I know what someone's been doing during their commercial breaks. Paging Jon Stewart. Anyway! Ali then gives us a preview of a couple of projects he's going to talk about coming up in the show. I am totally on the edge of my seat.

Back to Haiti, and a meeting of the Live Shot Boys' Club. Karl Penhaul, Ivan Watson , and Gary Tuchman tell Anderson about the goings-on of their day. Disturbingly, Karl saw Brazilian forces pepper-spray Haitians who were seeking aid. Yes, things were chaotic, but did they really have to do that? They're desperate people; not animals. You can see Karl's report from earlier in the day below.



Ivan tells us he saw missionaries giving out food and things were calm. Gary is then in the middle of talking about an ignored village called Bourdon, when suddenly scary things happen. There's a noise, and Gary's all "what's that?" And for the next two seconds everyone--including viewers--is very alert. Everyone that is, except Anderson, who almost immediately says, "It's fine. It's fine." Apparently, there's been a power surge and a line went down. Will someone please inform our anchor that though he has recently added "awesome rescuer" to his resume, he is still not an electrician. Yeah, it's fine, it's fine. What does he know?!

What's hilariously sad is that if that were a frog? He sooo would have been out of that live shot. Oh Anderson, I do not understand you sometimes. Anyway! This is reminding Gary of that first night almost two weeks ago when everything got all scary behind them because people thought there was a tsunami. I think he was a tad freaked for a second there, with good reason. Then Anderson's all, "sit down." Dude. Okay, Live Shot Boys' Club, I love me some Anderson Cooper, but I think you all need to make a pact that when there is potential danger, he is not in charge. Just sayin.'

Moving on now to a Sanjay Gupta piece on Haiti's doctors in training. The country only has 2000 doctors for nine million people, so to say that they are understaffed would be an understatement. Now the quake has demolished the medical schools. More problems and hardship on the horizon.

On now to some domestic news with Joe Johns. Remember that asshat James O'Keefe who posed as a pimp in order to discredit ACORN? He just got arrested for worming his way into Senator Mary Landrieu's office and trying to tamper with the phones Watergate-style. Schadenfreude! For the record, ACORN did nothing illegal (though the doormat Dems still pulled their funding), while this guy's crimes might cost him 10 years in prison. Maybe justice really isn't blind.

The approaching State of the Union address is also brought up, with our anchor noting that he doesn't think anyone ever even remembers them after a day or two. Not true! C'mon, SOTU 2006 was a classic. Bush pledged to save the world from the scourge of animal-human hybrids. That's some good stuff there. Now that we have a sane president, these speeches are not nearly as fun. But it's a price I'm willing to pay.

Back at Anderson's shot, there seems to be some sort of spontaneous religious procession going on. It's a bizarre and stark contrast to the politics we were just talking about,which suddenly seem a world away.

Transitioning to Ali again, and he tells us about a couple of stimulus projects...and it's all pretty context-free and pointless. I think I've figured out what's going on here though. CNN always does this. All their shows have to be focusing on the same thing. This is their "stimulus week" or whatever. Fine and dandy, except 360's kinda ocupado at the moment with the whole horrible earthquake thing. So, in order to be able to check off the box noting that they have in fact participated in this project, we get these very pointless segments with Ali.

True contextualized stimulus reporting is going to take time. Yesterday, I was pretty hard on CNN's economic reporting from last year. But to be fair, it wasn't all bad. Actually, there was some good information online. In fact, while I railed against the television counterpart, some of the online reporting actually contradicted what was being said on the TeeVee. I suspect that when this stimulus project is over, there will be a decent report online, and perhaps even an okay hour long special. But these segments they're trying to throw into every show are just stupid.

After Ali, we have a Randi Kaye piece, which I thought was pretty good. She looked into the issue of some states (specifically Ohio) using stimulus money to pay for signs that point out projects being built with stimulus money. Maybe I just like irony. Anyway! Lots of money wasted, and while I sympathize with the transparency defense, there's got to be a better way to do this.

The hour ends with an update on little Monley. He has an aunt in Florida who wants to adopt him, so that's great news. I don't have any extra video for you tonight, but Anderson did an interview with Mediaite's Steve Krak. It's worth a read. Anderson still isn't giving a date to come home. It sounds like the team will probably have to be ordered to do so. Hopefully this weekend, especially if everyone is getting sick. The reporting has been phenomenal, but they need a break. They can always go back, and I hope that they will.

That'll do it. Don't forget to follow me on Twitter (@newsjunkie365) and check out my Haiti Twitter List.

Anderson Cooper 360 Reports Live From Haiti And CNN Gets Stimulated

Hi everyone. Welcome to the new week. As 360's coverage slowly becomes more normalized, I guess this is as good a time as any to return to my regular reviews. It should go without saying that the snark factor is still going to be lacking a bit, but I'm eager to at least get back to my present-tense format. So, away we go.

The broadcast begins with Anderson Cooper apologizing for any coughing he might do in the near future. They've just burned dead bodies near his live shot and now the "air is thick with the smell of the dead; the air is thick with their ashes." Not even a minute into the show and already a brutal slap in the face by the cold hand of reality. Our anchor goes on to give a general update: a man rescued over the weekend, no one today. At this time there are 4,000 missing Americans. There is a new video from the aftermath of the earthquake.

Anderson has the first piece of the night, with the focus being Haiti's orphans. Security has become a major issue, as there is a palpable fear of the children being kidnapped for trafficking. Besides that horror, workers are having to deal with a situation that is beyond confusing. There are many people back in the states who would love to adopt these children, but first they must determine that every presumed orphan actually is an orphan. The last thing anyone wants to do is take these kids away from family members in Haiti.

Following his piece, Anderson speaks with Deb Barry of "Save the Children" about security concerns. He points out that in the past, rumors of child trafficking haven't always been true. Deb admits that their reports are preliminary. One can't be too cautious, I suppose. Especially with the Restavek situation the country already has.

Next up, a Sanjay Gupta piece explores the trauma that quake survivors have experienced. It's hard to imagine that there's not going to be country-wide PTSD. Many people now live in tents--not because they don't have a home--but because they're terrified of the aftershocks. How do you restore the confidence of a nation?

Transitioning now back to the states, where we find Ali Velshi hanging with a stack of binders that is almost as tall as him. CNN has decided to get themselves stimulated (yes, I stole part of my title from TVNewser). I'll refrain from the Viagra joke. The whole idea here is that they're going to look into how the stimulus money has been spent. We're given a beyond meaningless poll that shows a good percentage of Americans believe the money is being used for political purposes. Now, there are no actual facts involved in their poll--this is just what people think are the facts.

The irony that these very opinions are shaped by media outlets is apparently lost on CNN. Annnnd because the media is usually skipping along about five paces behind public opinion, I'm not going to bother getting my shocked face out if this new round of reporting reinforces the beliefs of that poll. To be clear, I'm not exactly a stimulus cheerleader, and I do very much support investigations such as this one, BUT after surviving last year's atrocious reporting on the economy (seriously, so bad!), I've got pretty much no faith that this little project they're doing is going to produce anything worth writing home about. Fingers crossed that they surprise me.

We're jumping back to Haiti now, where Gary Tuchman has a piece on the demolished presidential palace. In fact, all their main governmental buildings are gone, forcing officials--including president Rene Preval--to work out of the police station. This might be a stupid question, but, like, what are they doing in there? Specifically what governmental work are they getting done? Maybe they're doing very important things, but we're certainly not seeing evidence of that on our TV screens.



After Gary's piece, we're joined by him, Ivan Watson, Anderson, and Christiane Amanpour for discussion. Christiane! The Live Shot Boy's Club has been infiltrated! I've been loving the guys (don't take away the guys!), but it's nice to have a little gender representation. Plus, c'mon, it's Christiane Frickin' Amanpour. Just her mere presence makes things feel more newsy. But going back to the Boy's Club, 360, some of your regular viewers have a request: We want you to adopt Ivan. It's not fair that he gets hogged by CNNi. We want to learn about Turkey, we swear!

In seriousness, I have advocated several times on this blog for the inclusion of more international reporters. I follow all these great people on Twitter and I never get to see their work unless they put the piece online (or something horrible happens in the part of the world they cover.) Anyway! The live shot gang talks about governmental corruption and the possibility of another big earthquake. Scary.

Transitioning back to the stimulus stuff. Ali tells us about a stimulus project where it sounds like the funds have been wasted. But, uh, he doesn't know because they're not done investigating it yet. Okay then. This being CNN, if they don't balance that sucker out the place will apparently catch on fire, so, yes, then he tells us about a good stimulus-y project. Yawn.

After that, we go to a Drew Griffin piece about Aggregate Industries, a recipient of stimulus cash. I think I'm going to have to pass on this one. My regular readers are well aware of my bias against this reporter. This might be a completely accurate piece, and Aggregate Industries might be evil incarnate, but at this point I can't even get past Drew's near unprofessional delivery. He never just reports the facts; he makes them fit into whatever narrative will make a better story. Remember his report on the stimulus money used for that Missouri bridge? I mean, good lord. I was flabbergasted that even make it to air.

Moving on now to Anderson talking politics with David Gergen and Candy Crowley. It's a little weird given that he's standing near bodies being burned. The news tonight is that Obama is proposing a discretionary spending freeze. I'll need more facts to give a full opinion, but my initial reaction was that of Nate Silver: seems a little tone deaf. Another thing for the pundits to idiotically chatter about. Oh joy.

The hour wraps up with updates on a couple of the children we've met in Haiti. First we see new video of the rescue of little Monley. As for his current condition, he apparently has pneumonia and a fever, but doctors think he'll be okay. Hm, still a little troubling though. Anderson also talks with Bea, the little girl he witnessed being rescued. She's lost 10 members of her family, but she's staying strong.

The video below is from the program Backstory. Host Michael Holmes talks with Sanjay Gupta, producer Danielle Dellorto, and photographer Jonathan Schaer about the night the doctors abandoned their patients at that field hospital. From Sanjay: "For a while, my faith in humanity was trashed."



This next video was taken of Team Gupta actually working on patients that night. We've seen part of this via Anderson's end, but it's really worth a viewing to see what it was like for them.



That'll do it. Don't forget to follow me on Twitter (@newsjunkie365) and check out my Haiti Twitter List.