Friday, January 11, 2008

New Hampshire Analysis: What Happened? (Wednesday's Show)

Hi everyone. You're going to have to bear with me and my lateness. The freaky weather changes have not been kind to Eliza's back pain. Anyway, I hope everyone enjoyed their big helping of New Hampshire primary coverage, because tonight we're having leftovers. But first, Anderson Cooper informs us of the BREAKING NEWS that Bill Richardson will be dropping out of the race. Bummer. He would have been a good president, but never got a chance. Oh well. You keep truckin, Bill--there's always Veep. Another little smidgen of news we have up top tonight is that while Richardson is pulling out of the running, Michael Bloomberg is possibly maybe sort of going to throw his hat in. Don't tell me he lied to Ryan Seacrest! John King then joins us live with more and we learn that Bloomberg has apparently been laying the groundwork for a run for a while now. Well, that would definitely shake things up in an election that's already very much shaken.

After John, Anderson give us a rundown on how the candidates spent their day today. Guitar hero and dance dance revolution! Okay, no, just more campaigning. But my way would have been much more fun. He then intros into a Candy Crowley piece on the Clinton comeback. Our narrative tonight is that it was all about the woman voter, who was feeling sorry for her or was ticked at her treatment. I'm wary of anything they say at this point, but when we're shown a clip of two yahoos screaming "iron my shirts" at her, I have to admit, yes, I'm a bit ticked. We're played a few more moments that supposedly lead women voters to put her over the top (yes, the almost-tears clip is included), but no mention of Obama saying "you're likable enough" during the recent debate. Seems like that's a pretty big one.

Next up, we have discussion with Candy, David Gergen, and, ugh, Ralph Reed. Him again. I don't get this. Are there not enough honest conservatives out there? Reed is dirty and should not be rewarded with face time on the national news. So anyway, I'm going to kind of blow through some of this since we've already established that no one knows what they're talking about. The Gerg thinks we'll see more emotional moments from Clinton because she's learning that it's just as important to speak from your heart as your head. Ah, but does her heart want to bomb Iran? That would be good to know. Ralph brings up the possibility of coming out of super Tuesday with no front runner on either side, which, as you know, would cause the world to end. Or at least cause seizures in our country's most hot-aired pundits. Hm, something to hope for.

On now to a John King piece on McCain's victory and how that shapes the race on the republican side. Oh yeah, he made news too, didn't he? I couldn't see him standing there behind all the coverage of Clinton's almost-tears. Okay, so, Romney is freaking since he's 0 for 2 now. He's pouring money on the problem--like usual. Giuliani is apparently just play-acting or something until Florida, where Mr. 9-11 thinks he has it locked up. Huckabee may be an outsider, but he knows how to tailor his message to a crowd; talking up his anti-abortion stance in the more conservative South Carolina. It's anybody's game.

After John's piece, he joins the panel for discussion, stating South Carolina is where McCain went "off the rails" last time. Um, hello, no mention of the horrible Rovian smear job he endured in that election? Kind of a big deal. Anderson asks if South Carolina is Fred Thompson's last stand. Good lord, this isn't the Battle of Little Bighorn. I will have the metaphor police take you away; don't think I won't. Ralph thinks the Thompson campaign has been a huge implosion, but c'mon, who didn't see this coming? Hell, read the back posts of this blog. The Gerg says he has a soft spot for John McCain, but really, he seems to have a soft spot for anyone that's been around a while. How he's worked in the beltway for this long and remained this sunnily optimistic is beyond me.

Transitioning now to Erica Hill with the headlines and then "What Were They Thinking?" Apparently two upstanding citizens were caught wheeling a dead dude in an office chair to a check-cashing store so they could cash his Social-Security check. They left the dead dude outside the store and a cop eating nearby noticed and they were promptly busted. I'm guessing the cop lost his appetite. "They now face check fraud charges, and could star in a revival of the movie 'Weekend at Bernie's,'" says Anderson. What is wrong with people? "Only in New York," says Anderson. Yeah, like you guys have a monopoly on weird crap.

Back with the politics now, we've got Jeffrey Toobin manning some of the new technology and he's using the big touch screen to show us what's coming up on the calender, election-wise. Actually, he's kind of struggling a bit. When Super Tuesday comes up, Anderson has a little panic attack. "I don't even want to look at that." Man, that night all their heads are going to explode. It'll be great-heh.

Next up, we have our poll man, Bill Schneider, "Keeping Them Honest" about why the predictions in New Hampshire turned out so horribly wrong. Theories abound, but basically? The media and pollsters were just stupid, is all. Okay, maybe stupid is a bit harsh. Overly excited to the point that it effected their judgment, might be a more kind way to put it. Because Obama's percentages were pretty spot-on. Clinton was the one that surged ahead and it's because everybody, duh, forgot about the undecideds and the soft-supporters, who obviously mostly broke for Clinton. At least the media have now learned their lesson. Hahaha. Eliza made a funny.

Moving on now to a debate with Georgetown University professor Michael Eric Dyson and Amy Holmes. One of the theories of why Obama lost New Hampshire was that people told pollsters they were voting for him, but behind the private curtain, couldn't bring themselves to vote for a black man. Not out of the question, but did it happen here? Eh, maybe. Michael would like us to be open to the possibility, but Amy is all, denied! I should probably note that Amy and Michael have made this difficult for me by speaking at the speed of, well, at the speed of Anderson. And that's fast. It gets heated and interrupty pretty quick. Amy needs to give lessons or something because, damn, the woman knows how to shut a man down. "Are you saying that there's no way that race was a variable in this?" Amy says no. And Michael doesn't necessarily believe race was a factor, he's just open to it. Okay then, so basically you're very passionately almost saying the same thing. And this is only the primary. If Obama gets the nomination, just wait for the race issue to hit the general election. Harold, call me!

Next up, we have a Tom Foreman piece on the speechifying by our fine candidates. Obama channels Martin Luther King and Kennedy, McCain channels Reagan (though he apparently needs crib notes), and Clinton channels, well, Clinton. Erica then returns with more headlines and she is quite upset by a story about a doggie stealer, who ridiculously put the dog under her shirt. And also? "And the other thing is $1,600 for a dog?" Get Fido at the humane society, people. That's where I got mine. The Shot tonight is a dude surfing an 80 foot wave. Whoa! That reminds me of "Point Break." Let's just say I've seen that movie a number of times. And it totally has nothing to do with Keanu Reeves in a wetsuit. Ahem. Erica then shows us some glacial-wave surfing and we're out. Okay show. Yay for the politics, but heavy on the horse race and speculation. B-

For fun, CNN getting the mocking they deserve (Yeah, I feel a little guilty posting this--support the writers!):


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