BP Is Teh Suck

Hi everyone. Okay, yes, I'm kinda at a loss for titles at this point. Tonight we have fun with slang from the interwebs. About yesterday, I was feeling crappy. I did still make an attempt to blog for you fine folks, but my headache was like, "Stop right there. I will set your brain on fire." And really, who can argue with that? I'm back now though, and everything is fine. Well, except for that whole devastating oil catastrophe. To the bullet points!:

• Speaking of things on fire, can someone out there please attack Anderson Cooper with some sunscreen? At first I was a little amused at him rocking the lobster look (I just totally made myself think of the B-52s. Ha!). Then I remembered his skin cancer history and got a little ticked. Don't the newsers know we worry?!

• For those keeping score at home, the new estimate is 20,000 to 40,000 barrels of oil flowing into the Gulf every day. Spoiler Alert! A new(er) estimate is forthcoming and all signs point to more oiliness.
  

• BP says they have "fully supported" the effort to measure the flow rate of the oil and they have "made no estimate of the flow rate [themselves]." But our anchor is like, "oh hells no!" He's got some questions about that: "Does fully supported mean not releasing underwater video of the leak for weeks, until the government lawmakers forced them to?" Or how about: "Does fully supported mean not allowing scientists working for the government to actually directly measure the gusher of oil?" And: "Does fully supported mean withholding high-resolution H.D. video from at least one of those scientists and Congress and the public until a few days ago?" I believe the words you're looking for are "oh, snap."

• But Anderson Cooper was not done. Oh no he was not. Next came a montage of all the times BP actually had estimated the flow rate. After it was over, our anchor was like, oh FYI, after BP released their first statement that made them look like douches, then they re-released it with the last sentence (denying they estimated flow rates) totally gone. "So, in addition to putting out one statement that pretty much airbrushes history, they then put out a second statement which airbrushed the first statement." Ha! Awesome. The 360 kids rocked that segment.

• BP continues to freeze out the Silver Fox when it comes to interview requests (I can't imagine why!). Why are you so afraid of Anderson Cooper, Tony? So hey Internets, do you want to see the oil douches get their asses grilled by our anchor? Of course you do! Show your support by joining the Facebook group Make BP Appear on AC360 (143 members and counting!).

• Below is video of Anderson's talk with Ira Leifer, member of the government's flow rate team:

• The 'ragin cajun' was, well, ragin. I loved the introduction: "We taped this a few hours ago, during daytime." I'm glad he explained. I would have been so frightened. Why is there suddenly sunshine?!!
  

• Anderson then got into the issue of transparency and how BP is, uh, totally not. Our anchor has been prevented by federal wildlife officials from filming oily birds and CNN's Jim Acosta was blocked by the National Guard. You can see more on this in the first segment of the below video.
  

• Yesterday CNN obtained a letter from BP COO Doug Suttles that stated "BP has not and will not prevent anyone working in the cleanup operation from sharing his or her own experiences or opinions with the media." Our anchor rightly calls this "patently false." But, in the interest of seeing if a new leaf had been turned, Tom Foreman went out to see if any workers would talk to him. Any guesses on what happened? Yeah...the segment was actually pretty creepy. You can view it in the second half of the video below. A corporation should not have this kind of power. Period.

• Below is the interview with Senator Bill Nelson on BP's lack of transparency:

• Randi Kaye covered the joint investigation from ProPublica and The Washington Post on BP's horrible safety record. I guess it was only a matter of time.

• Gary Tuchman had our headlines again tonight. We're going to pretend like it's yesterday because I had something to say then and I don't for this broadcast. Anyway! You may have heard about how Carly Fiorina trashed talked Senator Barbara Boxer's hair in an open mic mishap. First of all, really? Her hair? Not juicy enough Fiorina! I mean, this is the woman who brought us demon sheep. I'm really disappointed she didn't say something more batshit insane. Back to Gary though, he says this: "That's my reoccurring nightmare, Anderson, that I'll say something nasty about someone and forget that I have that mic open on my lapel." Oh, that's adorable. Because no one is buying that Gary says nasty things. Our anchor: "You never said anything nasty about anyone, Gary. I know that." See?

• Okay, we're back to Thursday, in case you were wondering. Below is Anderson's interview with family members of the men who died on the Deepwater Horizon rig: Jason Anderson's wife Shelley Anderson, Jason's father Billy Anderson, Roy Kemp's wife Courtney Kemp, Gordon Jones' father Keith Jones, Dewey Revette's wife Sherri Revette, and Adam Weise's mother Arlene Weise. It's astounding that BP has had no contact with them. Then again, given their history, it's really not.

• That'll do it. The show continues to rock. But after that last video, this bullet point is sad. It contains prayers for the families of those lost men.