BP Is Teh Suck

Hi everyone. Okay, yes, I'm kinda at a loss for titles at this point. Tonight we have fun with slang from the interwebs. About yesterday, I was feeling crappy. I did still make an attempt to blog for you fine folks, but my headache was like, "Stop right there. I will set your brain on fire." And really, who can argue with that? I'm back now though, and everything is fine. Well, except for that whole devastating oil catastrophe. To the bullet points!:

• Speaking of things on fire, can someone out there please attack Anderson Cooper with some sunscreen? At first I was a little amused at him rocking the lobster look (I just totally made myself think of the B-52s. Ha!). Then I remembered his skin cancer history and got a little ticked. Don't the newsers know we worry?!

• For those keeping score at home, the new estimate is 20,000 to 40,000 barrels of oil flowing into the Gulf every day. Spoiler Alert! A new(er) estimate is forthcoming and all signs point to more oiliness.
  

• BP says they have "fully supported" the effort to measure the flow rate of the oil and they have "made no estimate of the flow rate [themselves]." But our anchor is like, "oh hells no!" He's got some questions about that: "Does fully supported mean not releasing underwater video of the leak for weeks, until the government lawmakers forced them to?" Or how about: "Does fully supported mean not allowing scientists working for the government to actually directly measure the gusher of oil?" And: "Does fully supported mean withholding high-resolution H.D. video from at least one of those scientists and Congress and the public until a few days ago?" I believe the words you're looking for are "oh, snap."

• But Anderson Cooper was not done. Oh no he was not. Next came a montage of all the times BP actually had estimated the flow rate. After it was over, our anchor was like, oh FYI, after BP released their first statement that made them look like douches, then they re-released it with the last sentence (denying they estimated flow rates) totally gone. "So, in addition to putting out one statement that pretty much airbrushes history, they then put out a second statement which airbrushed the first statement." Ha! Awesome. The 360 kids rocked that segment.

• BP continues to freeze out the Silver Fox when it comes to interview requests (I can't imagine why!). Why are you so afraid of Anderson Cooper, Tony? So hey Internets, do you want to see the oil douches get their asses grilled by our anchor? Of course you do! Show your support by joining the Facebook group Make BP Appear on AC360 (143 members and counting!).

• Below is video of Anderson's talk with Ira Leifer, member of the government's flow rate team:

• The 'ragin cajun' was, well, ragin. I loved the introduction: "We taped this a few hours ago, during daytime." I'm glad he explained. I would have been so frightened. Why is there suddenly sunshine?!!
  

• Anderson then got into the issue of transparency and how BP is, uh, totally not. Our anchor has been prevented by federal wildlife officials from filming oily birds and CNN's Jim Acosta was blocked by the National Guard. You can see more on this in the first segment of the below video.
  

• Yesterday CNN obtained a letter from BP COO Doug Suttles that stated "BP has not and will not prevent anyone working in the cleanup operation from sharing his or her own experiences or opinions with the media." Our anchor rightly calls this "patently false." But, in the interest of seeing if a new leaf had been turned, Tom Foreman went out to see if any workers would talk to him. Any guesses on what happened? Yeah...the segment was actually pretty creepy. You can view it in the second half of the video below. A corporation should not have this kind of power. Period.

• Below is the interview with Senator Bill Nelson on BP's lack of transparency:

• Randi Kaye covered the joint investigation from ProPublica and The Washington Post on BP's horrible safety record. I guess it was only a matter of time.

• Gary Tuchman had our headlines again tonight. We're going to pretend like it's yesterday because I had something to say then and I don't for this broadcast. Anyway! You may have heard about how Carly Fiorina trashed talked Senator Barbara Boxer's hair in an open mic mishap. First of all, really? Her hair? Not juicy enough Fiorina! I mean, this is the woman who brought us demon sheep. I'm really disappointed she didn't say something more batshit insane. Back to Gary though, he says this: "That's my reoccurring nightmare, Anderson, that I'll say something nasty about someone and forget that I have that mic open on my lapel." Oh, that's adorable. Because no one is buying that Gary says nasty things. Our anchor: "You never said anything nasty about anyone, Gary. I know that." See?

• Okay, we're back to Thursday, in case you were wondering. Below is Anderson's interview with family members of the men who died on the Deepwater Horizon rig: Jason Anderson's wife Shelley Anderson, Jason's father Billy Anderson, Roy Kemp's wife Courtney Kemp, Gordon Jones' father Keith Jones, Dewey Revette's wife Sherri Revette, and Adam Weise's mother Arlene Weise. It's astounding that BP has had no contact with them. Then again, given their history, it's really not.

• That'll do it. The show continues to rock. But after that last video, this bullet point is sad. It contains prayers for the families of those lost men.
  

"How Are You Going To Make This Right?" AC360's Marathon Night Of Live Coverage From Louisiana

Hi everyone. Well, the 360 kids earned those paychecks tonight, didn't they? Except for the hour when they slipped us some taped Larry King (sneaky!), the broadcast went live until 2 AM EST. Not the longest night I've ever seen them do; still pretty close. The occasion? BP capped the well, which I believe is their 502nd attempt to stop the damn oil from flowing. Not really being a mechanical person, I had no plans to stick around and watch hours of the coverage. Then I got to chatting with some longtime 360 viewers and, well, yep, I watched the whole marathon. I did, however, stop writing things down in the second hour, so I am sorry to say that the bullet points will not be all-encompassing. But they will be--what's the word? Oh yes, awesome! Away we go:

• Below I have embeded the first few minutes of the show, which are definitely worth a watch. First of all, Anderson Cooper's pronunciation of robot (robutt!) is one of the most hilariously adorable things you'll ever hear. But to bring this back to Serious Town, there's a mad powerful moment that's related to the title of this post. On the same day that we're hearing about a new PR strategy from BP, we're also seeing absolutely devastating pictures of wildlife. Which brings us to our anchor: "BP says they're going to make things right in that commercial. It's a good slogan. It's folksy. It's familiar. It's down-home. But our question to them tonight, if they were ever willing to come on this program, which they're still not, our question tonight is this: How are you going to make this right?" He then repeats the question three more times, each time an oil soaked bird appearing on screen. Well done.

• Anderson on BP's lack of information regarding the latest fix attempt: "Sadly, BP doesn't release information as quickly as that well releases oil." Oh, snap!

• More of our anchor on BP: "They paid a big-time political consultant to make this ad, the price tag, an estimated $50 million, $50 million. Now, many of the fishermen we have been meeting for the last few weeks here are watching their livelihoods go down the drain -- $50 million -- while fishermen wait and struggle to collect a few thousand dollars that BP says they're going to pay them for lost work, but haven't paid them yet." Um, about that political consultant? One of the heads of the firm that produced the ad is CNN contributor--and frequent 360 guest--Alex Castellanos. I'm guessing Anderson didn't want to mention that part. Do I need to again explain why the concept of pundits is so disgusting to me? Seriously, this crap hurts CNN's reputation.

• BP is undertaking this massive operation and has no one around to explain what the hell is going on? Allow me to show you my shocked face.
  

• Hey, guess what, BP. Anderson Cooper is so servicey, he will not only get up early to interview you, he is now offering you free advice! "I'm going to give BP some free P.R. advice, not that they care what I say. But they're spending $50 million on an ad. They could have somebody just narrating in real time what is happening, just like Houston does when they launch a rocket, and it would get people invested in this operation." Can we just make Anderson Disaster Czar?
  

• Larry King interviewed Obama tonight and it was, well, Larry. And of course he had to ask him about being angry. You know, our president may not be showing the apparent adequate level of Rage Face, but I'm about to friggin' throttle the next person that asks that question. Thankfully, we have people like Jason Linkins, who wins the Internets for this glorious smackdown of that bullshit (bonus points for Dashboard Confessional reference).

• James Carville's story about running into Admiral Thad Allen and BP CEO Tony Hayward in a restaurant was pretty funny, mostly because Anderson was like, dude, you should have called me. He wants that interview so bad, people! As always, don't forget to join the Facebook group to make BP come on the show. How dare they freeze out the Silver Fox!

• I have to say, I wasn't that impressed with Kyra Phillips' "full access" to the rig serving as BP command central. It seems like she talked more about getting the interview than she did anything that furthered my knowledge of the situation. Plus, she bordered on making excuses for them. You know, sometimes companies give exclusives like this for a reason.
  

• Gary Tuchman's piece on the birds was so sad. But at least there are trained rescuers and the pelicans are being saved. Watch below:
  

• Gary wishing Anderson a happy birthday was very sweet: "Before we go, though, I do want to say something personal to you. This area, the New Orleans area, we love it. We just love it very much. Particularly you, your history here. And it's a very sad time. But what I must emphasize is, that it's so appropriate that on today, June 3, that you are here. Because today, June 3, is Anderson Cooper's birthday. All of us want to wish Anderson a very happy birthday." And of course the Silver Fox was like, grumble, grumble. Whatever Anderson, you know you love our love! You can watch the wishes at the end of this clip. The quality's pretty bad, but beggars can't be choosers. As for me, I got my own present for our anchor. You're just going to have to wait until the last bullet point to see what it is (or, you know, scroll).

• David Mattingly's container of oil amused me a bit. I was wondering when someone was finally going to bring props.

• I'm pretty sure I heard Sanjay Gupta allude to the fact that Katrina was not a man made disaster. Um, no. To quote Spike Lee, "Most people think that it was Katrina that brought about the devastation to New Orleans. But it was a breaching of the levees that put 80 percent of the city under water. It was not the hurricane." And the levee failure was due to man.

• Good investigative piece from Joe Johns.

• Sanjay actually anchored the latter half of the broadcast and he did a really nice job. Was it his first time anchoring breaking news like that? I think so. It's amusing to me how much calmer he is than Anderson, whose mind is clearly beyond boggled at this point at the stupidity of BP. I like both their styles: yin and yang. I'd say "fire and ice," but longtime viewers know that didn't go over so well the last time.
  

• This is where the bullet points start to wind down. It was a good broadcast. CNN done right. I hope the 360 kids enjoyed their pizza (delivered to their location--servicey!) and are getting some rest.

• Finally, the birthday boy. Admittedly, Anderson's birthday kinda jumped up on me given that I don't normally keep track of those things for people I don't know. So, when I found out it was today, I thought long and hard what to get him (translation: about 30 seconds), and I think I've come up with the perfect thing. The Silver Fox will likely not be clicking on that link from this blog, but for the rest of you dorky sadists out there, enjoy!