Thursday, September 25, 2008

Bailout Deal Stalls And Sarah Palin Talks To The Press, Scares America

Hi everybody. We're kicking things off tonight with, you guessed it, BREAKING NEWS. You know what? It would actually be breaking news if we weren't starting with breaking news. But I digress. The big to-do tonight is that the huge expensive bailout deal that everyone hates has stalled. See, there was a deal, and then there wasn't a deal, and it's all the fault of conservative Republicans. Or something. Oh, and Washington Mutual, the largest savings and loan evah, has just been seized by the feds. So, yeah, nice to see things turning around for us, huh?

An Ed Henry piece breaks down the day. It all seemed to start off pretty good. McCain and Obama joined other leaders in a meeting today to try to hammer out a deal. They were all smiles and congeniality until the cameras left, and that's apparently when things went Jerry Springer. There had actually been a tentative deal, but then House Republican Leader John Boehner threw his own deal down and everything exploded. Paulson deemed it unworkable and various members of Congress went whining to the cameras, as is their wont. So I think that went well. *sigh* We also learn that the Republicans are standing behind McCain's campaign suspension, but as my peep Jeffrey Toobin awesomely points out, the media should really stop calling it that.

Next up, we have a Tom Foreman piece that really delves into what the tentative agreement entailed. You know, before it all fell apart. The Republicans always ruin everything! Actually though, as much as it pains me to be all, "Yay, crazy Republicans!" I might have to root for them on this. I'm not sure. It seems that the Democrats were able to get a lot of what they wanted, and the deal is certainly more attractive than initially proposed, but I still don't understand why we have to rush. I do not buy the Bush line that the world is going to fall apart if things aren't decided right this instant. And how far are we down the rabbit hole that it's the Bush administration that's trying to turn us socialist? If we're going to keep nationalizing all these financial companies, I want my damn universal healthcare. Now.

Jessica Yellin now joins us live to talk about how the deal got derailed, and for some reason, McCain is suddenly right smack in the debacle's center. The Republican's are claiming that the Democrats tried to rush the deal through before McCain got to Washington and the Democrats are charging that their deal-making had saved the world, until McCain ruined it all. I'll take option C for $200, Alex. Obviously, McCain dramatically suspending his campaign was one big political ploy, but Washington is full of a lot of crazy (and a lot of ego), and I doubt that just one dude killed this deal.

On now to Ali Velshi telling us more about the demise of Washington Mutual. Another one bites the dust. The largest savings and loan in the country has just been seized and had its assets sold to JP Morgan Chase. But the good news is, no panic attack required. Apparently, everyone's money is safe. Well, unless you're a shareholder. That'll leave a mark.

Our inevitable "Strategy Session" on the day's insanity is staffed by Ed Rollins, Gloria Borger, and Paul Begala. But they don't get very far into their discussion before we cut to Brianna Keilar on the phone in Washington, where another meeting has just ended. It seems a little progress was made and there's going to be another meeting tomorrow . . . without the House Republicans. Oh, what the hell? What's the point then? Also? Everyone keeps using this weird three-legged stool metaphor. Just throwing that out there. Anyway, Ed thinks the House Republicans might be using this as an opportunity to take a stand and rebuild their party. "It is pretty scary stuff, though. They're thinking about party right now, not country?" asks Anderson Cooper. Pretty ironic when the party's nominee is running on a platform of "country first," huh?

Paul thinks the Democrats are saddled with the "do-the-right-thing gene" (discovered by Spike Lee), which is why they're quickly agreeing to this bailout plan. Ed says that Skippy (otherwise known as Bush if you have any respect left for him) gave the most gloom-and-doom speech last night that he's ever heard in his life. "I have got to tell you, watching the president last night give that speech, it was like watching him in Jackson Square in New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina. I mean, he did not seem to be there," says Anderson. Heh, he didn't, did he? Of course, that's been par for the course for years now. And hey there, silver fox, you didn't note that back in 2005.

"He is a high-functioning moron, and that is what Congress treats him as, both parties," says Paul. Bwah! And what's even funnier is that no one on the panel disagrees with him. But be careful there Paul, don't underestimate Skippy--especially his ability to make our lives miserable. Anderson wants to know why Americans should trust any of these people after they've been screwing us over for years. "It turned out they had no sight. I mean, it wasn't oversight. It was no sight," he says. And this, in a nutshell, is why I get so mad about stupid news coverage. We need the fourth estate to be constantly digging into things and holding these idiots accountable. I am so sick of letting problems (like this one) just fester forever, until it gets to the level of, oh my God crisis, before we all pay attention.

Next up, we have a Dana Bash piece on McCain's day of looking really busy. Did he actually do anything besides walk a lot of places and snub reporters? Remains to be seen. What we know is that he arrived just when the deal was being successfully wrapped up. And we couldn't have that. So then McCain went to talk to the House Republicans and everything fell apart shortly thereafter. Damned if I know what happened. I don't even know if McCain supports the bailout. His official position? He has no position. Yeah...

Apparently, Obama also had a day today and we get to learn about it in a Candy Crowley piece. What we learn is that he spent time on the phone, is cool and nuanced, and is letting his surrogates hit McCain. And...I still don't actually know what he did. But Friday he might be debating himself. So there's that.

Transitioning now to some clips of the interview Katie Couric did with Sarah Palin. Oh, dudes. I...I just...don't even...holy hell, just watch it yourself. And after you get over being terrified, give yourself a chuckle watching Palin's life story hit theaters. So anyway, we have our panel back and the consensus seems to be that Ms. Hockey Mom has lost her confidence. Best line goes to Paul: "I can see the moon from my backyard, so I'm an astrophysicist." Going back to the clip, all that "good guy" and "bad guy" talk sounds a little familiar, doesn't it? And not in a good way.

"The Shot" tonight is 360 taking an opportunity to embarrass Anderson. Its seems Sharon Osbourne was on The Ellen DeGeneres Show and they played a little game in which Ellen held up celebrity pictures and Sharon gave her opinion. And we all know how Sharon is just a shy little flower. Wouldn't you know, our own silver fox's mug comes up, causing Sharon to blurt out, "You see, I'd like to have sex with him. " Bwah! Oh my. Get in line, honey. (And keep dreaming.) She then goes on to elaborate: "I think he's so hot! And he's bright and smart and gorgeous." I like how she made sure she got the sex part in right off the bat. Anderson is predictably flustered: "I really don't know how to respond to any of that," he says. So...should we place bets on when this little exchange hits the gossips?

The show was fairly good, though I would have liked less panel--it makes me feel like I'm watching an opinion show. I have no webcast stuff to report because it wouldn't work for me. Eliza was denied! Technology can be mean sometimes. That'll do it.


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