Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Vick Pleads Guilty, Gonzales Resigns, And Raw Politics (Monday's Show)

Hi everybody. Happy new week. Anderson Cooper is still MIA and in his place tonight we have Soledad O'Brien bringing us the news from CNN's New Orleans studio. I'm not quite sure why, given the only New Orlean's related coverage we have tonight was filmed in January, but perhaps she's prepositioning. Anyway, two big stories went down today. One involves the plea of a professional football player who committed a crime that was in no doubt horrific, but probably won't be affecting your life in any way. The other involves the nation's top law enforcement officer, which, you might guess, is a pretty important position. Hmm, which story will 360 pick to lead? Yeah, that was pretty much a rhetorical question. Vick it is!

In a Jeffrey Toobin piece (hey, look at him doing pieces) we learn that football player Michael Vick has plead guilty to conspiracy and we get a clip of him giving a mea culpa for the dogfighting. Oh, and wouldn't you know, he found Jesus. Funny how that guy is always getting found in these types of situations. Next up for Vick is the requisite stint in rehab. Okay, I'm kidding, but, seriously, I would so not be surprised. I'm not even saying he has any substance abuse problems, but this is how it works with famous people, right? You screw up, you say you're sorry, and you hide in rehab. It's the same for everyone whether you're hooked on OxyContin or just happen to be a homophobe. I'm pretty sure this is all in some kind of manual. Anyhoo, Vick could get up to five years in prison. We also learn that Bush just made dogfighting a felony (OMG, he did something good!) and all states already make it a felony except for Idaho and Wyoming. What the hell, Idaho and Wyoming? Do I have to put you on notice?

After his piece, Toobin joins us live and states that Vick's apology was a good start. We're also joined by Court TV's Jami Floyd and sports agent Leigh Steinberg. They talk about the case, which Leigh coins "puppy-gate." Bwah! Aw. After this discussion we move into a repeat Drew Griffin piece on dogfighting that's so disturbing I never really recapped it the first couple times they ran it. Then we're on to an interview with John Goodwin of the Humane Society to answer the question of whether or not pit bulls are evil. Yeah, that's pretty much how the question was phrased. So we've got ourselves a nature vs. nurture question here. John thinks pit bulls can be sweet dogs, but if they're bred to be aggressive they can't be rehabilitated and need to be put down. Soledad brings up how some cities have banned the breed and John finds this upsetting. Apparently dogs were taken away from families that had them for years. That's not right. Sigh.

Transitioning now to . . . goodbye Gonzo! That's right, today Alberto Gonzales finally pried his death grip off the job of attorney general and resigned. Oh, Alberto, I think I shall fondly look back at our time together as "quaint" and "irrelevant" and when they ask me what you accomplished during your tenure, why, my answer will do you proud: I cannot recall. In totally unsurprising news, Bush is still standing by his man, even as his man slinks out of the administration with his tail between his legs. He believes this was all just political (I'll let the irony of that statement stand alone), you see, and poor Alberto has had his name dragged through the mud. Oh yes, damn those democrats and their insistence on adhering to the constitution.

Next up we have a Kelli Arena piece that gives us Gonzos greatest hits, if you will. Let's see, he was way too chummy with Bush, he authored the torture memo, he tried to get a drugged-up Ashcroft to sign off on the unconstitutional wire-tapping program, he lied that there were no disagreements about said program, he was behind eight attorneys being fired for political reasons, and he can't even keep his own story straight when lying, ahem, testifying under oath. Basically, this guy was such a screw up that he made the boob-fearing Ashcroft look appealing. And now he leaves behind a completely demoralized department. Another Bush crony strikes again. After Kelli's piece we're joined again by Toobin, who is surprised at the resignation, mostly because nothing new had come out lately. Well, there's a reason. Anybody care to investigate? Toobin reassures us that the people who do the work at Justice are doing fine, but when it comes to the top positions they've got the 'help wanted' signs out. That could be a problem. As far as replacements for Gonzales, Michael Chertoff's name is now being floated around. Oh, yay. Because he didn't screw up Katrina bad enough. Let's give him the whole Justice Department. I swear. . .

On now to a John King piece on how all of Dubya's friends are leaving him. Also, his domestic policies crashed and burned (as did his foreign ones-in a literal sense) and his approval totally sucks. What's that I hear? I believe it's the unmistakable sound of quacking. We've got ourselves a lame duck. Now if only we didn't have over a year to go. Hey, 360, where's David Gergen for our Gonzales analysis? Oh, wait, I know where he is; he's totally cheating on you with Brian Williams! Gasp! Whoda thunk The Gerg would be such a political playa? On now to some "Raw Politics" with Tom Foreman. Okay, we've got some Bush bashing, Maliki is ticked at Levin and Clinton for wanting him ousted, and Chris Dodd had his office broken into. But the money shot is Larry Craig. Larry Craig is a republican senator who plead guilty earlier this month to misdemeanor disorderly conduct stemming from some lewdness in a bathroom. Apparently if you're into gay sex in public bathrooms there's a little routine that you do that involves foot tapping and hand swiping. Ahem. Unfortunately for senator Craig he was tapping at an undercover cop. Oops. The kicker is that now Craig says the whole thing was misconstrued and he never should have plead guilty in the first place. Dude. Don't make it worse.

Moving on now to a snippet from Soledad's special airing on Wednesday regarding the children of Katrina. If the whole show is as sad as this clip I'm going to need to bring tissues. The Shot tonight is a kid giving his dog his former prized possession, a football autographed by Vick. Aw, that's kind of sad actually. It would be nice if role models could actually, you know, be role models. The show tonight was okay. I guess I should be happy they covered Gonzales. C+


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