Health Care Reform Procedural Controversy, Tiger Woods On My TV Again, Sex Addiction, Vatican Scandal, And More Serial Killer

Hi everyone. Health care reform continues to chug along at an excruciating pace, and it's not without a bump or two either. We're in the home stretch of massive legislation, which means one thing for certain is on the horizon: confusing procedural issues! In an Ed Henry piece, it's noted that our prez has been traveling all over these here United States, promising the American people an up or down vote on health care reform (helpfully exhibited in clip form-nice).

But! Now Pelosi might use what is known as "deeming," which means that House members would be able to approve fixes to the Senate bill without having to do that whole unpleasantness of actually voting for the whole bill. This is CYA at its finest. Reform gets passed and no one has to stick their necks out politically. Everybody wins! Well, except democracy.

And as a preserver of that democracy, Ed holds Gibbs' feet to the fire on the issue. Honestly, at this point I just want them to push it through and I really don't care who they have to tie up in the House basement to do it, but good on Ed for doing his job. He also notes that Republicans, who predictably are crying like little babies over this, did the same thing themselves with immigration legislation. Ed's on a roll. I just might have to give him a cookie.

Oh Also? Gibbs and Pelosi aren't even on the same page. Democrats are so frustrating. Right side of the issues, wrong side of competency. After Ed's piece, he further explains how Republicans are cynically trying to score political points off all this. Yeah well, water wet, sky blue. What are you gonna do? Pass the bill. In the end, no one will care how it got done. Declare victory and move on. Hey, it worked for Iraq.

On now to discussion with David Gergen, who has become quite the broken record these days. Again with the hand-wringing over how the bill is going down. I think I could say his lines at this point. Does the Gerg have a glitch? Somebody give him a shake and see if he turns back into that rational non concern troll that I liked so much. The stuff he's saying, you'd swear he didn't even live through the Bush administration. Also of note, Anderson Cooper did a little challenging. Credit where credit is due (yes, I'm reaching).

Transitioning now to the news that Tiger Woods is returning to golf...which means now we get to talk about him some more. Yay? A Gary Tuchman piece gives us a sum-up of all the prior drama, and explains why golf wants him back ever so badly. I don't have to go over how he slept with the equivalent of the tri-state area, do I? Anyway! Anderson reminds us that Tiger checked himself into sex rehab and we're shown several pictures of other celebs who have allegedly suffered from the problem. Because I'm sure they want to be dragged into this.

This, of course, is all just leading up to an interview with a sex addict, that sex addict being Benoit Denizet-Lewis. There's a funny little bit of information you learn when you put his name into the Google machine. You know how Anderson told us about Tiger being in sex rehab? Well, the curious thing is that Tiger hasn't actually spoken about it. In fact, our anchor stressed several times that we really don't know his exact deal. What tabloid reporter invaded the golfer's privacy to confirm the sex rehab info? Why, it was Benoit Denizet-Lewis!

So, let me get this straight: A guy who is supposedly suffering from something very real and painful, exploits a celebrity who is allegedly suffering from the exact same thing, in order to get himself publicity. In the meantime, 360 is apparently more than happy to play this game, because they themselves are exploiting the notion of sex addiction so that they have an excuse to speculate about Tiger Woods. The golfer, by the way, has never even said he's a sex addict. Good God, I actually feel bad for Tiger here. That's how fucked up this situation is.

And no disclosure that Benoit was the guy who confirmed the sex rehab?! I mean, seriously? Wow. It's funny, I already thought the situation was pretty messed up and that was before I Googled. Someone please tell me I'm mistaken about this stuff. Otherwise, I don't even know what to say. Obviously I consider the guy's credibility pretty much shot, so at this point everything he said is moot. I guess we'll just move on because...wow. (Update: Benoit writes on his blog that he did not break the Woods story, but only further confirmed, something he now regrets. Do with that what you will.)

Next up, Abbie Boudreau joins us to update the prior reporting she did on the 96 hour rule. That was the rule that said soldiers had four days to come up with evidence that would merit turning over suspects to Afghan officials. Otherwise, they had to be released. Much controversy arose from the rule, which many felt was putting soldier's lives at risk. Abbie tells us that General David Petraeus was questioned about the matter and now the rule will be 14 days instead of four. That sounds reasonable. Yay for that.

Moving on now to a Nic Robertson piece on yet more scandal of the sex variety going down with the Catholic church. This one's actually connected to the Pope, and while I do not deny it's important, I feel like my church sex scandal quota has already been met for the week (and we're not even at the halfway point!). After Nic's piece, Anderson talks with CNN's senior Vatican analyst, John Allen. It kinda cracks me up that CNN actually has a senior Vatican analyst.

Transitioning now to a Stephanie Elam piece on that "Dating Game" serial killer guy Rodney Alcala. Actually, I find their TV show angle with this story to be completely ridiculous. The guy was a contestant once. So what? They make it sound like he actually killed people on the show. But we all know it makes it more intriguing. Anyway, the police found a bunch of pictures of women and girls in the killer's storage locker.

It's not known who they are, but in a rare move, they were released to the public in the hopes of perhaps solving some cold cases. Tips have since been streaming in. We're being shown the pictures throughout the piece. My regular readers know well how much I dislike these kind of stories, but if there's a public good to come of them I have absolutely no problem with the airing. What they're doing with this piece is one of the functions of news. My problem is with unnecessary speculation and exploitation involving stories that only touch a handful of people. Lisa Bloom follows this up with the legal lowdown.

Candy Crowley has our headlines tonight, one of which is the news that a connection has been found between erectile dysfunction and heart disease. Earlier, Anderson teased the story by saying how much the early warning sign would shock us. Well, here we are and I'm not shocked. Why do they always do that? It's not exactly a new problem. I even wrote a whole blog post about it almost three years ago. Also? Why are they teasing a mere headline in the first place?

The "shot" tonight is some facial morphing done of our anchor because the Smithsonian National Museum of Natural History is celebrating their 100th anniversary and they have a new exhibit on human origins. Yeah, I don't know what Anderson has to do with this either, but let's just go with it. So anyway, we're shown Neanderthal! Anderson, who yes, is decidedly less pretty. Amusingly, however, he still has the furrowed brow. Because that's how we know the news is serious, people! Anderson also shows Candy's (against her will!) and she's not looking so hot either. But she takes it well. These two actually have pretty good chemistry. Still miss Erica though.

Well, children, apparently the special theme tonight was sex. Oy. You know, last week when I noted that 360 seemed to be morphing into a news magazine and that was probably a good thing, in my head I envisioned them going in more the direction of, say, 60 Minutes. But I guess they have chosen the opposite direction, onward to Inside Edition. I don't know what to say except that I don't get it.

Going sensational only alienates viewers who they count on when they do real news like Haiti and whatnot. I used to watch a fair amount of CNN. Then came months of Michael Jackson coverage. Except for 360, the network lost me. The show keeps going back and forth between putting on a quality broadcast and catering to the lowest common denominator. Until they pick a side and stay consistent, they're never going to significantly grow their base of regular viewers.

Interview With Missionary Jim Allen, Tiger Woods Crap, Update On The BRESMA Orphans, and CPAC Coverage

Hi everyone. Sorry about the absence of Thursday's review. I was mad at Anderson Cooper for ditching out on us the night before, so I ditched out on him. Kidding. Naw, I was just being a slacker. And apparently I picked the wrong day. Because Thursday night? Pretty good show. Tonight? Well...at least we got some great reportage from the always awesome Gary Tuchman, so I guess there's that. Anyhoo, the Silver Fox has gone missing again and this time we have John King manning the anchor desk.

After some intro stuff to let us know that yes, they will be talking about Tiger, we move into a Joe Johns piece for a recap of the American missionary story they've been following, complete with timeline. As I'm sure most of you know by now, eight of the ten detained individuals have been released and are now back in the states. You know what this means, right? Let the interviews begin!

While Anderson isn't gracing us with his presence live and in person tonight, he is doing us the honor of some taped face time. Next, we're played an interview that he conducted earlier with freed missionary Jim Allen. There's two other people sitting with him as well (presumably his wife and lawyer), but they never speak. That's not weird at all. I'm guessing this has been edited down. From Jim, we learn that he only knew two other people in the group and did not know Laura Silsby at all.

Though he did see papers being filled out and signed as the children boarded the bus, he never saw any documents from officials. He indicates he was operating under the belief that they had everything they needed except some papers on the Haiti side, which they planned to acquire. No, he didn't know the children had parents. Jim tells us he's not mad at the Haitian government and holds no grudges. And that was pretty much that. WTF?

I'm a bit stunned at how little Anderson questioned him about Silsby. I know the men and women were eventually separated, but they were all detained together for a while. Were they able to talk? Does he have any thoughts on her and why she's still in Haiti? He says he holds no grudges, so does that mean he thinks this is all just a big misunderstanding? I'm flummoxed. Like I said, this is taped. Whether this is a case of incomplete questioning or poor editing I suppose remains to be seen.

So hey, I'm not sure you heard this, but it turns out that Tiger Woods gave a press conference today. I know! Predictably, our media had themselves one big newsgasm. Everybody wanted a piece of the spectacle. Everyone, except golf writers that is, who as it turns out, may just be the most principled journalists in the country. Go them! So, did I tune in? Um, that would be a hell to the no.

What we have next is a whole hot mess of Tiger Woods coverage...and I could not run over to MSNBC fast enough. Sorry CNN. Michael Jackson. Anna Nicole Smith. O.J. Part Two. I'm not doing this crap anymore. I did, however, flip back just long enough to find Tom Foreman at the Magic Wall, analyzing the golfer's appearance, including the "dark circles under his eyes." Oh dear lord. Please tell me they didn't have on a body language expert.

Transitioning to something that people should actually care about: Haiti. Just like Anderson and Sanjay Gupta before him, the intrepid Gary Tuchman has recently returned to the country. In his report tonight, he follows up with some of the remaining BRESMA orphans. Those of you who follow my tweets know that Jamie and Ali McMutrie have returned to Haiti (read the latest Facebook note from their sister-in-law here) in order to try to bring more of the children to the states. They've been asking for help in cutting through the red tape.

Gary speaks with Margarette Saint Fleur, owner of BRESMA orphanage where 36 orphans remain, only six of which have permission to leave. Some of the children are becoming ill (see photos at link) and one has even been hospitalized for pneumonia. But Gary reports that most appear healthy. Jamie and Ali are currently working to bring 12 of the children to the U.S., while the rest will probably be placed in French homes. Following his piece, Gary tells us the missionary mess has really slowed down the adoption process. Actions always have consequences.

The taped version of Anderson is back now for discussion about the CPAC conference with Bill Bennett and Erick Erickson. Oh boy! To be fair, Erick makes a distinction between conservatives and republicans, which I think is important. Other than that though, there's nothing to write home about here. I found it amusing when Bill was passionately defending Washington. Because from my end? That seems to be the place where good ideas go to die.

As for CPAC, this afternoon I found myself all discombobulated when I heard that a homophobic speaker was booed off the stage. ZOMG, is this progress? Perhaps so. But hold off on getting your conservative love on just yet. While they did in fact do the totally cool aforementioned booing, they also booed...wait for it...wait for it...the notion that waterboarding is torture. Now there's the conservatives I know and don't love! Le sigh. Well, one out of two ain't bad?

Anyway! I've been digging on Rachel Maddow's CPAC coverage. Actually, I've been digging on Rachel Maddow period. Have you seen her on Meet the Press? Girl's got skills. Plus, she talks to people she disagrees with (unlike someone who airs before her and shall remain nameless), and while she always aggressively holds feet to the fire, she's never not polite. This is no pundit to be dismissed. Check out the video below of her CPAC visit:

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I think that'll do it for me. As I said up top, not the best show, Gary's report obviously being the exception. I think he's going to be in Haiti all next week, so I look forward to his reporting. Is this the end of the Tiger coverage? One can only hope.

Update: I came across this video and thought you regulars would be interested. Aw, Anderson getting some well-deserved love and appreciation.

Senate Screws Us On Cheaper Drugs, Palin vs. Terminator, Parental Abduction, And More Tiger Woods (Plus Dickens Reading and Anderson's Momma On R&K!)

Hi everyone. We begin with the news that the Senate has just voted down two proposals that would have allowed us to buy cheaper drugs from other countries. Thanks Senate! Because our friends at 360 are always "keeping 'em honest," we get played a clip of Campaign!Obama pledging to bring on the cheap drugs. Now, I love me the Daily Show-like accountability we got going on here, but one wonders, dudes, where were you four months ago?!

See, this drug deal is not new. It was first reported in August, and it would have been nice if it would have gotten some traction. I guess the news cycle was otherwise occupied. Probably trying to suck the last ratings morsel off Michael Jackson's death. I just love the media sometimes, don't you?

Anyway! Better later than never. Anderson Cooper once again takes us to the Big Wall. Is it just me, or does it feel like a "Use the Big Wall more!" memo went out to our 360 peeps? They are getting their frickin money's worth, people. Our anchor demonstrates what most of us already know: drugs are a lot more expensive here in the U.S.

Joe Johns joins us to talk about how this is essentially a trade-off; the administration gives Big Pharma what they want, Big Pharma doesn't kill the bill. Awesome for them, huh? Safety issues are brought up, which is an excuse used not to import. I'll take my chances. Finally, David Gergen shares his insider-y insider-ness. He thinks the drug companies got a "sweetheart deal," so he's got his clear glasses on there. But he's still implying reform opposition is strictly a center/right thing. I'm surprised there's been no talk of the growing progressive split.

If everything you just read wasn't reminder enough that our Congresscritters are idiots, 360 would like to demonstrate this fact to you by using a member of their Floor Crew. We'll call him Jerry, because, well, that's his name. Jerry will be spending the hour reading from Charles Dickens' "A Tale of Two Cities." No, this is not a segment about torture. See, Senator Bernie Sanders introduced an amendment to the health care reform bill that would have established a single-payer system. Though an exciting prospect, um, it obviously wasn't going to go anywhere.

Unless a senator objects, amendments are not usually read out loud. Well, guess what. Apparently a little of Lieberman's dickishness has rubbed off on Senator Tom Coburn, because he demanded the 787 page amendment be read. With the President-imposed end-of-the year deadline for getting this bill wrapped up, time in the Senate is very tight--hence people being none too thrilled with this stunt. This brings us back to poor Jerry. I guess 360 said to themselves, hey, let's make someone read something and see how far they get. And there you go. Personally, I might have rather just read the bill.

Transitioning now to an epic fight to the death battle: Sarah Palin vs. The Terminator!!! Dun Dun Dun! Alright, fine. It's actually way less exciting than it sounds. A Candy Crowley piece breaks it down. Arnold Schwarzenegger, as you know, is a green governor. While former governor Sarah Palin, likes to shoot wolves from helicopters, and isn't too keen on combating that whole global warming thing. Apparently, the two have had words. Or at least gotten snarky via Facebook. It never ends.

Moving on to an unbelievable child abduction piece from David Mattingly. We're shown video of a terrified Jean Paul Lacombe Diaz as he is taken from his school bus by Texas authorities in order to be turned over to his father, Jean Philippe Lacombe. Lacombe had presented misleading Mexican documents to a San Antonio judge, which wrongly showed he had custody of the boy. On the tape, Jean Paul calls out for help, stating that his father will hit him. Essentially, the state just assisted an alleged child abuser kidnap his son. Like I said, unbelievable.

Now no one knows the location of either Lacombe or Jean Paul. We're joined by the mother, Berenice Diaz, and Lisa Bloom. As you might imagine, Berenice is pretty beside herself given that she hasn't seen her son in two months. Surprisingly, Lisa found that the judge actually followed the law. She notes that they're presented with documents everyday and assume them to be true. Well, that's scary. Still though, you'd think the bus scene would have warranted a call to DFS.

On now, strangely, to another abduction case. We're played an interview Anderson had with David Goldman, which was taped literally as he was on a plane to Brazil that was about to take off (we can hear the announcements). He's taking the trip to finally (hopefully) get his son. The back story: In 2004, David's wife Bruna Bianchi took their son to her native Brazil for a two-week vacation. But that vacation turned out to be indefinite. They never came home. Bruna divorced David and remarried in Brazil. She then later died and her new husband took custody of David's son. It's been a battle ever since. Let's hope the battle is truly over.

Time for your Tiger Woods news! We're given some Magic Wall action, and since the subject falls in the medical realm, we also get some Sanjay Gupta action. But I'm skipping ahead because...meh. We're not off the Tiger train yet though. Now we're going to do some sister network promotion, by showing a clip of Robin Meade talking Tiger with Spike Lee and Charles Barkley. They're worried because they can't get in touch with him. Well, I hope the guy's okay. This too will pass. Can we be done with this story now?

No, apparently we cannot. Because now Anderson's going to talk with Robin about the talk she had with Spike and Charles. My head is spinning. The fact that Tiger changed his number is brought up, but then the train just completely derails because the next thing I know, we're talking about the Real Housewives. No, really! Why do all conversations with our anchor end with the Real Housewives?

To make this even more bizarre, the Silver Fox tells us a story about his encounter with Charles Barkley at a Turner company party in New Orleans. From the delivery here, I'm assuming Mr. Barkley was a little sloshed, but don't quote me on that. It seems he yelled our anchor's name, tried to kill him with a bear hug, and then said something along the lines of: "You try to keep them mother******* honest. But you can't keep them honest. They ain't honest!" Well said. Someone should sew that on a pillow. And you know Anderson just kinda stood there and nodded until he felt comfortable enough to pretend he had a phone call.

Speaking of Mr. Cooper, he finished up a co-hosting stint on Regis and Kelly this morning, and who was in the audience. His momma! You and I know her as Gloria Vanderbilt, American royalty. I'm not all that familiar with her, to tell the truth. I know she made jeans and isn't shy about writing books about the sex (no, I have not read them). Ahem. Anyway, she tells a story about a young Silver Fox. Take a gander at the vid. Oh, and bonus inbox!

We wrap up the night by checking back in with Jerry. Only made it to page 41. He does not like this book, people. He does not like this book at all. Poor Jerry. Eh, it can't always be about dancing to "Single Ladies."

The show was okay. It felt like there wasn't a lot of there there. I really wish they'd go more in-depth on the health care stuff, but I've learned not to hold my breath. I hope they stay on the Jean Paul case. This isn't true crime sensationalism. There's a real chance media exposure will help find that kid. That'll do it.

How The Lieberman Stole Real Health Care Reform, Bailout Blues, James Arthur Ray Employee Speaks, And Chicago Violence Discussed

Hi everyone. Happy New Week! I'm a bit short on time, so this will have to be one of those lovely abbreviated reviews. There's a lot to get to tonight. On we go! The broadcast kicks off with the "breaking news" that our Democratic leadership is once again contemplating completely rolling over on important legislation in order to placate attention-seeking cry babies. That deal with the Medicare buy-in they just finagled last week? Forget about it.

According to Dana Bash, word on the D.C. street is that whole thing is getting scrapped because Senator Joe Lieberman isn't happy. That's right, it all comes down to one asshole. And if you think I'm being pejorative now, you should have heard what I called him when I initially read the news. The big irony here is that Lieberman is on record as being a supporter of the Medicare buy-in.

What changed? Dana tells us Lieberman's people says it's the deficit, but I call BS. Look, it doesn't take a genius to figure out that some people are going to do anything they can to see that the health care reform bill dies. What flummoxes me is how our friends at 360 continue to ignore the relationships our Congresscritters have with the health insurance industry. Hello! Lieberman and Aetna? At least they had the Medicare buy-in video, which to my amusement, Anderson Cooper referred to as a "flip flop." I was kinda expecting to have to add that in myself. I'm not sure what that says.

Moving on to our anchor hitting the Big Wall for some bailout breakdowns. We've got the whole outrage regarding lobbyists and bonuses going on here. Then Ed Henry pops in to tell us that President Obama is really letting the bankers have it...with his words. Action? Not so much. Also, I've yet to give the big Matt Taibbi piece that's recently being discussed around the interwebs a good read, but I'd love to see his perspective on the show.

New segment name alert: "Insider's Briefing." Oooh, fancy. Who's the insider? David Gergen of course. As if you had to ask. He's here to talk about Obama's no good, very bad week. But I'd like to begin with my own question: What has happened to our Gerg? Ok, yes, he's always been a bit of a Villager, but we tolerated it--even grew to find it adorable. Now though? It's like he's entrenched in that beltway bubble and dude is it annoying.

Case in point, he talks about how the liberals are upset about the death of the public option. All of the D.C. elite keep trying to equate the PO with far left thinking, when in reality, it's more popular than the overall bill. It has more than just liberal support. Another annoyance was the Gerg deeming the PO and Medicare buy-in as first steps to single payer. I'll give him the buy-in, but if he actually listened to the arguments on the left, the PO has always been about holding insurance companies accountable. Oh, also? Oprah! As in, this segment contained an Oprah clip. Because this is 360 and it is therefore mandatory.

Transitioning now to Gary Tuchman live in the studio. He's still on the case of James Arthur Ray and recently sat down with one of the self-help guru's former employees, Melinda Martin. She was there that night that three people died in the sweat lodge. Once again, Ray's callousness and indifference to the situation around him is relayed. Melinda says he left while victims lay dying. She herself performed CPR.

As for the woman who committed suicide, the guru flat out lied when Melinda asked him if she had been found. Ray assured her she had, but she had decided not to return to the event. While it's true she did not return, one might quibble with the word "decided," given her being dead and all. Melinda also tells us 10 people might be indicted, though she doesn't know specifics. From Gary we learn that Ray is still allowing people to sign up for courses next year, but he canceled the seminars a few days after Gary's team crashed one of them. Go Ismael!

Moving on to tape of T.J. Holmes sitting down with Vashon Bullock, a Chicago teen involved in the fight that left Derrion Albert dead. Vashon's brother Eugene Riley was there as well, and is now one of the teens charged with the crime. This is pretty depressing. Though police maintain that Darrion was an honor student who inadvertently was caught up in the fight, Vashon claims it simply a situation that got out of hand. Someone is dead, but he doesn't feel anyone needs to be held accountable. It's sad he thinks so little of life.

After the piece, we're joined by Steve Perry for discussion. Steve points out Vashon's inarticulateness and ties that back to education. Anderson notes, as I have on this blog previously, that all the same things keep being said, but nothing ever actually changes. He's only referring to government officials--I'd expand that to include these segments. What do you do though? I suppose depressing repetitive coverage is better than no coverage at all. Most other outlets have the "no coverage at all" angle, well, covered. Also? I think Steve implied Chicago is more dangerous than Afghanistan. Um...yeah...I don't think being hyperbolic really helps the situation.

The last segment of the night is the requisite Tiger Woods coverage. At least they dumped it last. I couldn't even watch Friday. I mean, top story? Puhleese. Anyway, your moment of WTF, courtesy of guest Rick Horrow: "(Tiger is) one of the most, if not the most, recognizable man in the history of the universe..." The history of the universe, huh? Wow. Well, mankind does love it's pro-golfers.

In tonight's "360 Bulletin" we learn there's a poor deer on the loose with Christmas lights wrapped around its antlers. Since antlers fall off, it has been decided (most likely by people who do not wish to chase after deer) the situation will be left up to nature. This is all reported by Erica Hill. Our anchor then goes into a spiel about deer and Grinches and...I actually stopped listening (which is ironic given the end of this little recap). The pertinent part is that the Silver Fox then ponders about the deer getting the lights off, leaving Charlie Moore to IFB him the info that Erica just said.

"I'm glad you were listening," she says. "Did you just say that?" asks our anchor. She confirms she did, he apologizes..., which would normally lead me to exclaim "You're not sorry!" except, uh, he kind does seem sorry. Anyway! I bring up this rather pointless exchange for two reasons: First, Anderson is always doing that. Poor Erica. I can't even count the number of times that I'm sitting here going, "dude, are you even paying attention to your own show?" Someone needs their listening ears!

As for the second reason, gratuitous Charlie Moore mention! C'mon, like I wasn't going to note that? I loves me some Charlie. And since he's so into having his name said on the TeeVee, I'm sure he's just as thrilled about being discussed on the interwebs. Him and Ted Fine. Why so shy?

The "shot" tonight is a kid playing a ukulele and singing Jason Mraz's "I'm Yours." I use the term "singing" loosely.

The show was pretty good. I like that we had a lot of variety. I'd like to see more investigative work regarding health care reform and the bailout. That'll do it.

Hunting For A Cop Killer, Clemency Questions, Tiger Woods Non-troversy, White House Crashers Update, And Women In Combat

Hi everyone. It's good to be back! Kinda. Gotta say, it was also good to be away, especially during a week when the media lost their damn minds. Of course, that could be ANY week. Tonight we were subjected to a bit of residual idiocy from the days prior, but luckily not too much. And hey, we always have snark, right?

The show kicks off with the BREAKING NEWS that Maurice Clemmons, the alleged gunman in the horrific execution-style slaying of four Washington cops, is surrounded by SWAT in a home in Renton. Well, maybe. Actually--SPOILER ALERT--not so much. We go live to Dan Simon for the latest, but he can't really tell us anything given that nothing is actually happening.

This leads us into a piece from Dan where we get the requisite clip-from-the-neighbor and learn that Clemmons was kinda nuts. The guy went on a rock-throwing rampage and thought he was Jesus, so...yeah. One key bit of info we learn is that it's believed Clemmons was shot and probably had initial help with his wounds. What's more disturbing, the help was given willingly or not?

We then move on to a Joe Johns piece that tackles the subject of Clemmons's record, which is fairly extensive, and why he wasn't kept in jail. Oh, this is also where we declare, sorry Mike Huckabee, no 2012 for you! The former Governor of Arkansas' misstep was to grant Clemmons a commutation per the recommendation of the parole board. From there, Clemmons spread his crime to Washington State, where he went on to commit more violent crimes, such as assault of a police officer and child rape. So you see, this is all Huckabee's fault.

Also currently feeling the sting of the pitchforks, is Judge Marion Humphrey, supporter of Clemmon's initial parole in Arkansas. He joins us next for an interview that, quite frankly, I don't know what to do with. Let me preface by saying that I normally love it when Anderson Cooper gets fired up. It's good to see him alive during a segment (sometimes we wonder). But after watching it twice, I just don't think this interview was handled well at all. The interruptions bordered on rude (very rare for our anchor) and the detour to the focus on marriage was just bizarre.

From what I can tell, Clemmons committed a string of robberies as a minor and was sentenced to 108 years in prison. Due to his age and excessive sentence, the judge recommended parole, and Huckabee dropped his time down to 47 years. After 10 years served, Clemmons was released. Do Judge Humphrey and Huckabee really deserve to be tar and feathered here? We hear stories all the time of kids caught up in the street life who do their time and then go on to help others. But Maurice Clemmons was not one of those kids. He turned out to be a cold blooded killer. Hindsight is 20/20.

But I HAVE read reports that Clemmons was violent throughout his initial 10 years in prison. THAT is troubling information and something I would have liked to have put before Humphrey. After all, Arkansas apparently warned Washington State the man was coming and would likely repeat offend. Instead, we got an interview that wasn't very enlightening at all.

In my opinion, Anderson clearly had an agenda and seemed more interested in getting his questions asked then the answers Humphrey provided. That is not to say I am on the judge's side or even believe what he said. It is what it is. To borrow an incessantly annoying CNN talking point, I'll let you watch the video and decide for yourself.

Remember that residual idiocy I mentioned up top? Guess where we're transitioning! Once upon a time, there was a guy who crashed his car into a fire hydrant outside his house. Normally, that's where the story would end. But make that guy golfing superstar Tiger Woods, and this story ends with the media totally losing their shit. Why won't you tell us every single detail of your life, Tiger? Tiger, why?!! Anyhoo! In a Randi Kaye piece, we learn the cops are going all Dragnet on this for some reason, though it seems no crime has actually occurred. For his part, Tiger is staying mum.

To discuss all this (we must!), we're joined by Jeffrey Toobin and USA Today sports columnist Christine Brennan. From Anderson: "I kind of like the fact that they haven't said anything. It's no one's business." Exactly. So we will never speak of this again, right? RIGHT? Then later our anchor talks about his understanding of Tiger's public life philosophy: "When he needs to be in the public eye, he's in the public eye. Otherwise, he guards his privacy. And more power to him." Reminds me of someone else, but I can't quite put my finger on who.

Christine brings up the gossip going on in the blogosphere and how Tiger's normal PR savvy seems to have fallen through. But says Toobin: "If he has to live his life so that the blogs don't write bad things about him, that's a hopeless standard." Seriously. And who are these "bloggers" who write critical things about people? I mean, what kind of person does that? Oh, wait...

On to...more media ridiculousness. Sorta. Ed Henry is here with an update on that White House party crasher story. Don't get me wrong, it's good to look into the security aspect. But OH MY GAWD. It was just a couple of yahoos who got their pics taken with the president (and STILL had to go through security). This is not Defcon 5. Please unclench. All I have to say is this better end with the making of a hilarious Vince Vaughn/Owen Wilson movie.

Transitioning now to a panel that delves into the issue of women in combat, something that's occurring more and more frequently these days. Joining us are former Marine Captain Vernice Armor, former Army sergeant Kayla Williams, and Navy clinical psychologist Heidi Kraft. Each talks about her experiences and challenges of being a woman who has been in battle. For example, Kayla notes that a friend was told by the V.A. that she couldn't have PTSD because women aren't in combat, which obviously isn't true.

Vernice talks a bit about sleeping arrangements and how it can be difficult suddenly coming together with her male squad if the call comes in the middle of the night and she is far away. She dealt with this by trying to always actually sleep where the men did. Heidi tells us how she had to compartmentalize her life and separate being a mom from being in the military. All of the women seem to feel extra pressure to represent women well. This was a good, but much too short segment. There's so many ways this could have been expanded and there's plenty of fluff that could be cut from the broadcast to make room.

Next up, Erica Hill has a piece on Chelsea Clinton. America watched her grow up and now she's getting married! And...that's really all I got. I always liked her. She took a lot of crap when she was just a kid, but still kept trucking. I wish her well.

At this point we learn that Clemmons is actually NOT in the home, though I pretty much already told you that. Anyway, the "shot" tonight is the most adorable kitten ever. Seriously, how can you resist that? Our anchor also deems it adorable, but he's really not selling me. Where are your "aw" noises, Anderson?! Only for dogs and babies, huh? Cat hater.

Okay, yeah, the cat hater thing might be a little harsh after the whole interview panning I just did, but eh, he knows I still love him. Or, he would, if he knew of my existence in the first place. Anyhoo! The show was just meh. Thank God for the Obama speech tomorrow. I'm hoping that will semi-guarantee us a night of solid news. That'll do it.