China Earthquake, Wall Street Reform Politics, Investigating The Sons of Confederate Veterans, And Interview With Demi Moore About Haiti

Hi everyone. I got distracted with something and am starting this post way later than usual, so I'm sorry to say you're going to get the mostly-abbreviated version tonight. We begin with the dreaded "breaking news" graphic, which they are using for the China earthquake that happened many hours previously.

We've got John Vause coming at us live from on-the-ground, and you have to hand it to CNN, this is where they kick their competitors' asses and live up to that whole news thing. Earthquake in China? We've got a guy live in a remote region where Buddhist monks are digging for survivors. I just don't understand why they only use these resources when something huge is happening.

This story, obviously, is horrible. Almost 600 dead and counting. To my knowledge, earthquakes are not increasing by year, but admittedly I'm beginning to feel a bit of a "the universe is pissed off" kinda vibe. And we haven't even hit hardcore hurricane season yet.

Next up, we have a Tom Foreman piece that uses the Magic Wall to bring us a bit of awesome honesty-keeping. The real kind. See, Chris Dodd and Mitch McConnell are having a spat because the latter is calling financial reform legislation "tax-payer funded bailouts." Tom then plays us their statements and tells us the real deal with context and everything. Wow. Can we maybe do this again, like, EVERY NIGHT?

Are you feeling pundit depleted after that mad fact-checking? Fear not! It's time for some pontification with Paul Begala and Alex Castellanos. They talk about Frank Luntz, Republican word manipulator dude, and how he came up with the "tax-payer funded bailout" phrase before Dodd's legislation was even released. Classy!

Blah, blah, blah. Anderson Cooper, who I don't think I've mentioned yet (he's there, sometimes I just forget to add him in!) calls Alex out for using buzz words, so kudos for that. But the pull clip would be when Paul demonstrates McConnell's ridiculousness by presenting us with his (Paul's) receding hairline. Perhaps I should elaborate. "I actually have a thick and lustrous head of hair. So, the question is, what are you going to believe, me or your lying eyes?" ask Paul. Get it? Oh that Begala...

Then he adds, "Maybe I should put that on my forehead. This is not a bailout, Mitch." This was made extra amusing for me because I initially thought he said, "This is not a bailout, bitch." For a good second or so my jaw was on the floor and I was wondering why Anderson was not wearing his shocked face. How do you think that would have gone? Would Alex have been like, "oh no you din't!" Also? Dear Crash the Party, if you actually exist, you are asshats and totally not helping.

Moving on now to a Joe Johns piece that delves into that Sons of Confederate Veterans group. You know, the ones who think the Civil War wasn't about slavery. The verdict? The Southern Poverty Law Center says they're not a hate group, though they are keeping a watchful eye. I'm not really sure why 360 keeps coming back to this story, but I have no complaints with this piece. They are 100 times better when they are reporting, rather than letting two yahoos pointlessly yell at each other.

The "Big 360" interview tonight is with Demi Moore, who just returned from her first trip to Haiti. She talks about the DNA Foundation, which she co-founded with Ashton Kutcher to end sex slavery. The restavec system is noted. I honestly don't know what to think about this interview. I'm always down with attention being brought to these causes--even if it has to be done with a celebrity--but most of this was about Haiti and she's been there all of one time. It became about her experiences. (Note: I have absolutely nothing against Moore and think she's doing a good thing.)

This isn't like with Sean Penn who is running his own camp and can bring us actual on-the-ground updates. Also, doesn't CNN have anyone in Haiti? At the top of this I praised their resources, but this segment just makes me confused. Does 360 think we'd rather see celebrities than reporting from journalists? I feel like they're not giving us enough credit. Reading CNN's recent press and then watching the network is a weird experience. I read a quote from Anderson about reporting and then he's interviewing comedian Chelsea Handler. I don't know what they're doing anymore. Do they? An entertainment segment (say once weekly) designated as such would probably make stuff like that less weird.

Finally tonight, Randi Kaye has a crime piece, but I'm skipping. Sorry Randi.

The "shot" tonight is a kitty investigating an iPad. Yesterday they showed a dog attacking his own shadow. "It's only fair that if we show dogs, we show cats, as well," says our anchor. The balance has even seeped into their adorable animal videos! That'll do it.

Adopted Russian Child Sent Back, Calling Out Conservatives On Nuclear Arms Reduction Treaty Ridiculousness, & Re-Debating The Civil War

Hi everyone. My regular readers have probably noticed I've recently been doing a lot of slacking on Fridays. There was a period of time where I didn't blog Fridays at all and barring anything special, I think I'm going to go back to that. I don't like having a post hanging over my head when the weekend rolls around, especially if the show wasn't that interesting to me, which unfortunately it hasn't been lately.

We begin with the story of the Tennessee family who sent their newly-adopted seven-year-old back to Russia. By himself. Because they didn't want him anymore. Classy. I'm actually going to skip all of this because I haven't been keeping up with the story. Sounds pretty messed up though. For those keeping score at home, the segment included discussion with Dr. Jane Aronson (otherwise known as the lady with the blue glasses) and Lisa Bloom.

This moves us into an update of Gary Tuchman's prior run piece about the Ranch for Kids. Or actually, maybe it's just re-cut? I don't remember the part about the family visit, but it seems to be hardcore winter, so I dunno. Anyway! Young Alec gets a visit from his family and everything looks good on camera. Unfortunately, we learn Alec is still threatening violence to people and therefore is not ready to return home. I hope he gets there soon.

Next up, Anderson Cooper logs his (apparently) required time at the Magic Wall. The subject? Nuclear arms. See, Obama just signed a treaty with Russia to reduce the weapons, which you would think would be a welcome announcement. Commence Republican freak out. Says nuclear expert Sarah Palin: "No administration in America's history, I think, would ever have considered such a step." Orly? Well, Sarah, thinking it doesn't make it so.

We're then played a clip of Ronald Reagan--conservative idol--calling for a reduction of nuclear arms. That's an "oh snap" from beyond the grave! Very nice, 360! Of course, a guy with a comedy show beat you to it, but still, yay for calling out the BS.

For discussion of this, we've got James Carville and Ed Rollins. Meh. A bit of amusement, as you may know (or, um, not), John McCain has himself a primary fight with crazy dude J.D. Hayworth for his senate seat in Arizona. Well, everyone's favorite presidential loser has put out quite the interesting web video: A Special Message From J.D. Hayworth. Oh McCain, if only you weren't willing to turn your back on everything you believe in at the drop of a hat, you might actually be likeable.

The ad contains tried and true conservative issues, like Obama's Kenyaness and man on horse relationships. Says our anchor: "On the one hand, he seems to be tacking right, and then, in this, he is making fun of J.D. Hayworth on issues which some on the right take very seriously." Yes, Anderson, man on horse marriage is very serious! Is anyone else suddenly wondering what Rick Santorum is up to these days?

Anyhoo! So hey, you know that whole Civil War thing we fought some years back? Well, I guess we're not done. When last we met our controversy, Virginia governor Bob McDonnell had declared April "Confederate History Month," but neglected to mention that slavery thing. He's since done some backtracking. Problem solved? Not so! Enter Mississippi Governor Haley Barbour telling Candy Crowley that the slavery omission wasn't a mistake. Oy.

Remember that really awful debate we had between Brag Bowling and Roland Martin about this whole topic? We get to hear it again! Um, kinda confirming my original ratings pimping charge there guys. Also? If you want to hear something crazy, I woke up the morning after that debate to find that my post had been excerpted on the National Review Online of all places. I have infiltrated them with my commie liberalness!

All this is followed by discussion with historian Douglas Brinkley and Joe Johns. Douglas endears himself to me right off the bat by calling this "idiocy" and noting it's really about a southern strategy for Republicans. Well, duh. The rest of the conversation goes on as so. Not bad.

Randi Kaye had a crime piece at the end of the broadcast, but I'm skipping.

The "shot" tonight was some awesomeness courtesy of Tina Fey and Saturday Night Live. Sarah Palin is a wealth of comic material, I'll give her that.

The broadcast was pretty meh, in my opinion. Nights like these, I'm not sure this is the news show for me anymore. That's not to say it's bad exactly--just more controversy-driven for my tastes. I dunno. They're all over the place right now, so I'm not going anywhere. Two weeks from now we'll probably be getting something different. I'm very much getting a "let's throw stuff at the wall and see what sticks" kinda vibe from CNN these days. I'll guess we'll just have to see.

To my regulars, there probably won't be a review tomorrow night. The TV Gods have decided to run the premiere of Glee at the same time as the broadcast. Anderson's cute and all, but unless he's planning on singing and dancing tomorrow, he's going to lose the battle for my own personal ratings. Them's the breaks, Silver Fox. That'll do it.

Virginia Governor Declares April Confederate History Month, The Republican Party's Identity Problem, And A Breaking News False Alarm

Hi everyone. So okay, kind of a weird broadcast tonight. We had some potentially scary breaking news that turned into a reminder of what one should not do while traveling on a plane. I'll briefly address it at the end, but I think I'm just going to leave the updates out of the recap. They are now what you would call moot. Also, before I get going, I gotta highlight the phrase "Bachmann-Palin overdrive," which Anderson Cooper used in the tease up top. Clever. You Ain't Seen Nothing Yet!

Anyway! Did you hear? Virginia governor Bob McDonnell has made April Confederate History Month! Um, yay? You know, sometimes I think these politicians must sit in a room just thinking of things to piss people off. McDonnell has succeeded quite well with that on this one. Because apparently a whole month is just not enough time to mention that little slavery situation we had going on in this country. That's right, the good people of Virginia have been instructed to reflect on the sacrifices of everyone except the group who one might argue sacrificed the most.

This news has Anderson on his feet and at the, where else, Magic Wall. Hey, can we just all agree that this technology stuff is getting rather stupid? I mean, I'm watching our anchor trying to like, center, this document on the screen, and I'm thinking, you know, words just used to pop up for us with no problem. No fuss, no muss. Can't we go back to that? Because apparently Anderson isn't even comfortable messing with this crap live. (One can't exactly blame him for being technology shy given the embarrassing virtual pizza pie chart debacle of 2008.)

We're next joined by Roland Martin and Brag Bowling, the commander of the Virginia division of the Sons of Confederate Veterans, for a batshit insane spirited debate of the governor's declaration. Oh boy. Gee, I wonder how this is going to turn out. Yeah, we've got all kinds of train wreckiness going on here. Brag tries to dismiss the slavery aspect of this controversy, saying it was just an omission that he would have no problem including. According to Anderson, it's also an omission on the homepage of his website, where it says the Civil War was about "preserving liberty and freedom." Okay then.

For his part, Roland manages to equate Confederate soldiers to Nazis in record time. Seriously, did I miss the memo that says every cable news debate must have a Nazi/Hitler reference? Then Brag starts saying that we're seeing some of the same issues today that we saw back then, but he backs off when Anderson asks if he's comparing the Republicans of today to Confederate soldiers. Brag also tries to say that by not having this month we're whitewashing history and then we're automatically Russia. Of course.

Also? When Brag brings this point up, Anderson's all, "Well, let me just give you my answer." What? But you never give your answer. You are opinion-less sleeves man! Anyway, our anchor goes on to tell us that he has both Union and Confederate ancestors and he visits the graves of the latter in Mississippi, but that doesn't mean you whitewash the cause of the war. Okay, that wasn't so much an opinion as it was a semi-genealogy lesson. Still unexpected. That Silver Fox is just full of surprises. And since I'm talking about him anyway, I love that he's wearing his "this guest is so bullshit" look on his face throughout a good portion of this segment.

This basically wraps up with Brag lamenting all the horrible things the Union soldiers did to those poor southerners, all the while Roland has a coronary. "Do you even hear how you sound?" asks Roland. "I think I sound perfectly rational," says Brag. And that, boys and girls, pretty much says it all. Oy. I don't really know what to say about this discussion. In theory, I like that they let it have room to breathe (it lasted almost a third of the show). The thing is though, there was no where for this to go. An exercise predictably doomed for failure.

C'mon, did anyone really think anything enlightening would come out of a discussion with these two, much less a consensus? It's pointless. It's theater. How is this the news alternative to the bickering on the other two cable news nets? If they were going to do this story, they probably should have just had Anderson interview Brag alone. Instead, we got something that smelled suspiciously like a ratings ploy.

I'm going to skip ahead now to the talk with Ed Rollins and David Frum about whether or not Michael Steele needs to step down. This is mean, but when Frum appeared on screen I burst out laughing. Man, apparently ostracizing yourself from your party really wears on a dude. Usually these beltway guys freakishly look like they're stored in a box or something. But Frum's sporting a more life-like, slightly disheveled look. Plus sad face. A friend of mine speculated that perhaps grooming was part of his benefits back at the American Enterprise Institute. Oh snap. It's a hard knock life. And yeah, that's all I'm saying about this segment. I am a terrible person.

So okay, about that breaking news. First everyone was like, ZOMG, shoe bomber the sequel! Then, well, not so much. Hey there air travelers, if you're going to smoke on a plane, first of all, DON'T. But if you do, when asked what you were doing, maybe don't joke that you were lighting your shoes on fire. Just a suggestion. Also? If this had been real, the terrorists are like the stupidest people ever. They try it in the shoes and that doesn't work, so they try it in underwear and that doesn't work, so then they go back to trying in in shoes? C'mon.

The show was just meh. There seemed to have been very little news in the news. I didn't even mention the conversation about Nike's newest ad featuring Tiger Woods. The 360 kids can't be faulted for breaking news that turned out to be not much of anything, but as for everything else, it broke down to about five minutes news and the rest chatter. Not their best night for quality. That'll do it.