Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Bailout Battle, Obama Administration Snafus, Israel-Gaza Conflict Update, Bin Laden Drops Another Tape, Polygamy Interview, And Nazi-Named Kids

Hi everybody. Guess what. BREAKING NEWS, that's what. Tomorrow lawmakers are going to have a vote on the rest of the TARP money, otherwise known as the big-ass bailout. Obama wants it; Congress is leery. Oh noes! A showdown. I think I just saw a tumbleweed roll by. For more, we're joined live by Dana Bash, who is super-excited about the action that's about to go down tomorrow. She's sure it's going to be an "absolute nail biter."

Eh, calm down there, Dana. It's not like you're going to watch them diffuse a bomb. Although, the question does remain, will the Democrats trip up their own guy? We shall see. Also? In regards to the vote being held, Anderson Cooper notes that they "literally just learned this a few moments ago," so I take back my prior "breaking news" mocking. Turns out it really was "breaking." Who'd a thunk it?

Next up, we're joined live by Ed Henry who informs us that Timothy "I forgot to pay my taxes" Geithner might not be confirmed by inauguration. Hm, the biggest financial crisis since the Great Depression and no treasury secretary? What could possibly go wrong? But the Obama team is on top of it and they have a plan B in the form of Stuart Levey, a Bush treasury guy that has agreed to stay on if need be. I think the whole thing is stupid. Confirm him! We're wasting time.

A subsequent piece from Ed takes us through all of Obama's recent little presidential snags. To deal with it all, our prez-elect is bouncing back-and-forth between defense and a charm offensive. Raaaahm Emanuel is getting in on the act too, giving out his cell digits to members of Congress to make them feel special. Ooh, I want that number too. I'd prank call him just to hear him cuss me out. Because you know he would. Ed ends by noting that playing kiss-up doesn't always work because Bush did that at first too with Congress by, "giving them funny nicknames." Funny? Wha? Is Ed on crack or does he just not understand condescension when he sees it?

It's that time of night again. Rocking out our panel this time is David Gergen, John King, and Pamela Gentry, senior political analyst for BET. Newbie! Shall we haze her? Topic numero uno is the bailout bill and no offense to our newbie, but this panel really needed to be sporting a financial expert. The majority of the talk was about the political ramifications, but what the hell happens to the economy without the money? This show is called 360, but that was only, like, 270 degrees at most.

Anderson then brings up the dinners Obama has had with both liberal and conservative commentators. Separately, people. He preaches unity, but he ain't stupid. Anyway, I bring this up because I had heard that Andrew Sullivan was one of the dinner guests. Since he's a blogger and bloggers are known to be chatty, I thought maybe I could get some scoop. So I headed on over to Sully's and...was roundly disappointed. In this case, that blog is so not living up to its name. But yeah, kudos to him on the integrity and everything...yada, yada, yada.

We wrap up the panel with Anderson doing a little pimping of John King's new show and laying down a congrats. He notes John will be doing four hours. "You're taking over for Blitzer here as like the hardest-working guy in TV," says Anderson. "Blitzer is going to lend me his batteries, Anderson." Dudes! I'm totally taking that as an official confirmation of Wolf's robot status. I knew it! I feel so validated.

Okay, fun's over and we're going live to Nic Robertson in his usual spot on journalist hill at the Israel-Gaza border. Basically? They're still fighting. But BUT there's talk of a cease-fire--the talk taking place in Egypt. That's something, right? Just one minor snag though. See, Hamas says it won't stop firing rockets until Israel stops their military campaign and opens up all the crossings on the border. On the flip side, Israel says they won't stop attacking Hamas until Hamas stops firing the rockets. So...yeah. Good luck with that, Egypt.

Moving on from an intractable conflict to, oh look, Osama bin Laden has dropped another tape. Guess he was getting lonely in that cave. Anyway, we get the usual calls for jihad and taunts of the prez--this time Obama. Yawn. For discussion, we're then joined by Peter Bergen and "Jawbreaker" author Gary Berntsen. Peter talks a bit about the instructions for jihad and then Anderson brings up how Bush told Larry King that he doesn't know if we've ever gotten close to catching bin Laden. This is of course BS because it's conventional wisdom that we almost had him at Tora Bora, which Gary points out. "President Bush just doesn't want really to acknowledge that?" asks Anderson. In other words, he was lying. Again.

Then Gary lays down the ridiculous oft-made statement that Bush deserves some credit because we haven't been attacked again. I don't understand this reasoning. So what? It was eight years before they hit the World Trade Center again after the first attack. And it's not like we're not hurting here. One could argue that if wasn't for some of Bush's fight against terror (the Iraq War, billions wasted) we wouldn't be in the financial shape we're in. So spare me. Anyway, Peter points out that bin Laden wants Muslims to attack Israel, but he's done nothing specific to help Palestinians. Sounds like something that needs to be talked up.

Next up, we have a Drew Griffin piece on that fake-crash dude, but meh. I'm moving on to a Gary Tuchman piece, which I shall recap like a soap opera. When last we met our hero, Gary had won the favor of the formerly press-shy polygamists and been invited into their Texas ranch. Tonight we learn that one of his interviewees was a young woman named Betty. Skip forward to a book signing with reoccurring character Carolyn Jessop and we learn that Betty just happens to be her, gasp, long lost daughter! Okay, not so much long lost, since Carolyn knew she was at the ranch, but saying that kills the drama thing I got going here.

Anyway, at this point it just kinda gets sad with the broken family and everything, so I think it's time to ditch the soap opera. If you remember, Carolyn fled the FLDS with her kids, but it turns out, Betty wanted to go back. And of course the question all of us outsiders want to know is, "why?" Betty says it's because she thinks the outside world is shallow. Unfortunately, I don't really have an argument against that. Carolyn says Betty is under tremendous pressure; Betty says she's happy there. So, who knows. Also, it totally threw me when Betty said she sent her mom a text. I think subconsciously I assumed these people, like, churned butter and stuff. Must be the dresses.

On now to a Randi Kaye piece about some parents that have named their kid Adolf Hitler. Not only that, they have two other Nazi-named kids as well and now all three kids have been taken by state services. As one of my friends commented, "So...two Nazi-named kids is fine, but three crosses the line into child abuse?" This whole case is confusing. Like, I just said they'd been taken by state services, but even that seems to be iffy with some sources. Anyway, you might remember this family from last month when a supermarket refused to write the name Adolf Hitler on a birthday cake. You know who went ahead and made the cake though? Wal-Mart. Seriously, the confirmations of evilness just keep coming.

As for the situation at hand, the parents are singing the song and dance that they're all about the non-hate. Personally, they seem like attention whores to me. Who writes more than one of their kids names on a birthday cake? Me thinks they wanted to shock. Following Randi's piece, Lisa Bloom joins us for the legal lowdown and notes that it seems like there's more going on here than just giving kids horrible names. Plus the fact that any parent that would do that to their kids is pretty cruel right off the bat.

Our final piece of the night is from Erica Hill, who continues with the light-hearted Obama segments. This time we explore White House redecorating. Okey-dokey.

"The shot" tonight is clips of
Ricardo Montalban who died today. Aw. I have my own shot to add. Long time readers know I've done my fair share of Rick Sanchez mocking, but today he really stuck it to Joe the Unlicensed Plumber and it was awesome. Behold.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

So where can we see those hard hitting reports from Joe the ''Plumber''?

I see Emmys for sure...NOT!
God,if HE considers himself a correspondent or journalist,it is an insult to journalists everywhere.
Just go the hell away,already,Joe,or whoever or whatever you really are.

As for Mr. "W'' press conference the other day?
I was ready to throw something at the tv for listening to that moron and his spouting of his arrogance and denial,especially about KATRINA!
He does indeed have rose colored glasses.

I wish that IRAQI journalist had hit him with those damn shoes,or something else,too bad he missed!

He will be judged in history,alright,but he is not going to like what history says about him-he and his cronies have long overstayed their welcome,so good riddance to the lot of them.
Now Mr.Obama will probably spend his entire term,or more,trying to fix what these f***ers did to the country,to the economy,to the people,etc.

Just a thought,here,but all those billions being thrown to Iraq for the past few years would fix a lot of things at home,don't you think,or perhaps the U.S. would not be in this mess to begin with?

So many things this creep has to answer for,and all he will do is get on his helicopter and go away next week,it is criminal,IMO.

9:34 AM  
Blogger eliza said...

Personally, I'm hoping for a little friendly fire. Oh, nothing to hurt him. I'm not that mean. But this guy needs to get knocked down a few hundred pegs. Lets see if he still has that bravado after he's had the crap scared out of him.

Hey, don't break your TV. That only hurts you. But I'm with you in that I wish those shoes would have hit dear leader right in the forehead. Hell, maybe a couple knocks to the head would result in an improvement.

6:17 PM  
Blogger The Intellectual Redneck said...

The Bail Out Game
There is is new web based game called the "Bail Out Game." It has you driving a truck load of money around a Monopoly like board while you make decisions about what companies to bail out. Economic events like stock market drops often occur. This would be hilarious if it didn't so closely resemble reality. You can play it here. Have fun while the money lasts

9:51 PM  

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