Saturday, December 15, 2007

Republican Debate, Peterson Case Update, Clinton Woes, RIP Ike Turner, And Icy Weather (Wednesday's Show)

Hi everybody. Sorry I'm so behind. Tis the season to have a zillion things to do and not enough time to do them. We kick things off with Anderson Cooper introing us into a John King piece on the recent Republican debate. Anybody watch it? Yeah, me neither. What's up with having a debate in the afternoon, anyway? But it doesn't matter if you missed it because we're getting all the highlights right now, including a cut-a-way to Alan Keyes, which no doubt has the majority of 360 viewers crying in shock, "WTF? Alan Keyes?!" He's baaaack. And he's brought all that requisite crazy we know and love. Poor moderator. Maybe next time they'll learn not to tell Keyes where they're holding the debate.

For discussion on what went down, we're joined by John, Bill Bennett, and Donna Brazille. Of note is how Huckabee took a swipe at Romney by inquiring if Mormons think Jesus and Satan were brothers. Dude's supposed to know his theology, so that was no honest question. Bill thinks it's interesting how Huckabee talks about being a uniter, but then throws that bomb. Anderson notes he apologized, but I imagine that was his plan all along: put it out there and then CYA with an apology. Very, minus the apology. Donna thinks Romney did really well. He still looks plastic to me. Next, Anderson plays us a Giuliani clip related to what the Left has dubbed the "Sex on the City" scandal. This, of course, concerns how Giuliani is not only a big adulterer, but stuck the city with some of his affair-having bills. Anyway, in the clip he says he's been completely transparent about everything he's done. I'll pause for a second until you stop laughing.

Next up, we have a "Keeping Them Honest" piece from Tom Foreman that fact checks the candidate's claims. Oooh, I like fact checking! So let's see, John McCain believes he can get us off foreign oil, but that's apparently just a pipe dream. It's going to take a lot longer, people. Hell, we can't even get a 9-11 memorial built in that time and he thinks he's going to get the country energy independent in five years? Please. Romney claims he's going to greatly reduce government programs that aim to reduce teenage pregnancy because they're not working that well. The context that Tom says we're missing is that teen pregnancies have been on the decline over the past two decades. But the context Tom isn't giving us is that recently the teen pregnancy rate has begun to rise again, which many attribute to abstinence only programs. Tom would have known that if he read my "News You Might Have Missed." Sometimes the honesty-keepers need to be kept honest themselves.

On now to Joe Johns and he's got the results from the CNN/dial meter focus group. Basically, they have people watch the debates and they're able to gauge their feelings about what the candidate is saying in real time. CNN thinks this is nifty, but I'm not impressed. It's not statistically significant at all, but whatever. What else are they going to do with their time, go in depth on the details of where every candidate stands on each issue? I don't think so. That would be much too helpful.

Gary Tuchman has our headlines again tonight and he ends with the news that somebody bought a lock of John Lennon's hair for $48,000. Ew. I wouldn't want someone's hair even if the person was still alive. Whatever happened to autographs? "It's kind of creepy," says Anderson. Seriously. In tonight's edition of "What Were They Thinking?" we have cats in wigs. No, seriously. There's an honest to God company called kitty wigs. Unless it's a joke, which is what I'm hoping. Man, that's going to result in some ticked off cats. And since we're talking about wigs, Anderson takes this as an opportunity to show Gary's picture where he sporting mucho hair. Me thinks Gary's going to have to steal that back if he wants this to stop anytime. Apparently the picture is from about 1982 and Anderson wonders if Gary has any memory of the early 1980's. Hey, just what are you implying there, mister? Of course our Gary remembers. And he's very adamant that he remembers. "I love rock 'n' roll, but I remember it very distinctly," says Gary. Now, if he was that age in the 1960's, well, that might be another story...

Transitioning now to the Crime and Punishment segment, which I begrudgingly accept since they've been treating this crap a bit more appropriately lately. Anyway, you know that weird Drew Peterson guy that the media has on trial for killing his wife? Well, he's set up a website where you and I can send him money for his defense fund. Yeah, I'll get right on that. I was going to send phone cards to the troops, but helping out a creepy maybe-murderer is so much better. In a Gary Tuchman piece we get more on the case and then Anderson has an EXCLUSIVE interview with Stacy Peterson's sister, Cassandra Cales and her legal guardian, Pam Bosco. And it's pretty painful. Another one of those pulling-teeth exchanges. Of note is that Drew Peterson says he's going to hire a private investigator to find Stacy. Oh, almost like OJ! And that's enough of this for me. As Anderson teases us out to commercial he stumbles and calls Hillary Clinton, "Hitlary". Bwah! Oops. Somewhere, an overly sensitive Clinton supporter just popped a gasket.

Back to politics now, we have a Candy Crowley piece on the unraveling of the Clinton campaign. Or is that all just willful perception? Who the hell knows? But reporters are happy because the race has opened back up and people are getting snippy. Apparently they love that. Rumors abound of Clinton campaign unrest and Bill agitation. Couple that with Clinton's NH co-chair ridiculously going after Obama's past dabble in drugs, and one can smell a whiff of desperation rising from Hillary Headquarters. Or not. What do any of these people know, anyway?

Next up, we have an Anderson piece that looks back on the life of Ike Turner. Many consider his "Rocket 88." to be the first rock 'n' roll song ever made. Though he had an amazing career, drug abuse held him back. And for some, including myself, his abuse of wife Tina Turner painted a stain over him that's impossible to get past.

We've got Gary back now for an update on the nasty icy weather out there and then Chad Meyers pops up to bring us more. I am so happy I only got a little bit of this. Last year, my area got hit with a nasty ice storm that left half the city in the dark and trees snapping down left and right. So I sympathize. "Here in Atlanta, 70 degrees today," says Gary. Quiet about that. Some of us are freezing our butts off.

In order to preview The Shot, we're "treated" to the 360 crew busting a move to the music of Ike and Tina Turner. Oh my. It's a good thing the FCC is hands off when it comes to cable, because some of those moves? Definitely fine-worthy. I kid! Sort of. The Shot is a dancing traffic cop in Rhode Island and if you're like me, you're having massive deja vu. But apparently this guy does this every year, so that would be why. This calls for more moves from the 360 crew, who Anderson identifies as Bob, Frank, and Kevin. Oh, it's a dance-off! Don't quit your day job, guys.

Anderson then moves to some New Year's Eve pimping: "It is almost party time, you need to start to thinking about where you're going to be spending your New Year's Eve and we hope it's with us." Well, Anderson, you can consider me RSVP-ed. Unless of course I get one of those life things. But even then I'm still probably staying in. I've never been a fan of going out in the cold where a bunch of drunk people are trying to kill you with their cars. What's sad is just a few years ago I was mocking this special. Yep, tis true. I clearly remember saying, "Who is going to watch Anderson Cooper do a New Year's Eve special?" And I said his name really snooty too. I'm sorry, Anderson. That was before I knew you were filled with awesome. Joke's on me. The show was good. B


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