More Amazon Adventures, Iraq Attacks, Importance of Afghanistan/Pakistan, Lost Climbers, Political Pandering, And Bald Britney (Monday's First Hour)

Hi everyone. Now I don't want to jinx it, but did you notice we had no Anna Nicole coverage tonight? Last time when I got excited thinking they got rid of annoying announcer man they brought him right back the next day and I had to complain all over again. But now he's gone for good, so yay me. Yeah, perhaps a coincidence, but I like to think I have mad power like that. Although I'm not really going to celebrate our lack of ANS crap because they seem to have traded in her corpse for Britney's bald head. Sigh. So anyway, your humble blogger thought she'd take a little half hour nap an hour before the show started tonight. Well, next thing I know I'm popping out of bed all confused precisely at the top of the broadcast. I flip on the tv and Anderson I swear was talking about going out in the jungle with Obama and I'm all, "Wait, Obama went with them to Brazil?" Then I woke up a little more and realized he was saying "Ibama," which is the Brazilian equivalent of the Environmental Protection Agency. Ohhhh. That makes much more sense.

Anderson can't tell us exactly where they are tonight since they're with Ibama and members of the Brazilian federal police, both of which are heavily armed. Dude, their EPA does not mess around. Meanwhile our EPA lies about the safety of ground zero air. Okay, the whole deal here is that they're doing raids against illegal loggers. Anderson then throws to a tape from earlier when he went out on patrol with them. We're told that if people learn that Ibama is there to make arrests then the illegal loggers will just flee. Anderson tells us that, "Ibama has been planning operations in this biological preserve for more than a year now." Two-thirds of the preserve have already been destroyed. Wow. I guess they better get on it then.

We then cut to Anderson on the back of a speeding vehicle. Ooh action shot! It actually looks like they're running from something, but really this is one of the few field trips he's gone on where it's really unlikely someone's going to shoot at/kidnap him. Oh, and hey look, Jeff Corwin is in the vehicle too. He's was being quiet for once. Jeff brings up the roads and notes that they are basically the pathway where everything comes out, thus leading to the habitat loss. Anderson notes that actually the guys who cut down the trees really don't make much money and Jeff states that, yes, it's really the ranchers and landowners that are making all the profit. Ah yes, exploit the little guy and rape the land for profit. It's pretty much the same song everywhere; just different lyrics. Anderson then shows us how muddy the roads can get. Pretty muddy. They're probably going to need to new shoes. Anyway, they were out on patrol for two hours, but it was pretty much a bust. Oh well. After the tape we're back with Anderson live and then he throws to John King in Washington.

So here's a riddle for you: how many big time CNN anchors does it take to host a primetime show? If you guessed three, you win the prize. Obviously Anderson is in the Amazon, but we've also got John King in Washington and newbie Kiran Chetry in New York. I do not know why we need both of them and I'm pretty sure we were just suppose to have Kiran like on Friday, but I love John King, so I won't complain. You people didn't send hate mail about Kiran, did you? Because she's already getting hated on pretty good by her former employer (Faux News). Such a horrid network in every way.

John talks about the string of bombings in Iraq today and then Michael Ware joins us live for more detail. Michael tells us that as many as three suicide car bombs plunged into a heavily fortfied former police station that was being used by US forces. As if that wasn't enough, the bombings were followed by an attack by 40-50 guys wielding RPGs, machine guns, and assault rifles. At least two US troops dead and 17 wounded. So...another fun day in Iraq. Victory is on the march. John wants to know if this sort of thing is done frequently and Michael says it's not everyday, but it has been done before. John also asks how the prime minister squares this violence with his recent statement that the security operation is a dazzling success. Michael states that there has been a dampening of sectarian violence in the capital. Instead of there being 40-50 tortured and executed bodies found every day, now it's about 10-20. Well, geez they should throw a party. Only 10-20 bodies filled with drill holes every day? The Iraqis must be thrilled. The subject of Muqtada al-Sadr comes up and Michael says that he's hearing his fighters have been told to keep a low profile during the US surge. However, Michael notes that, "it's classic guerrilla insurgent tactics: Only fight the fight you know you can win." Maybe we should try that sometime. Please stay safe Michael.

On now to John talking with Peter Bergen about Afghanistan. See, Bush continues to say that Iraq is the central front on the War on Terror (despite there being no terrorists there before we invaded), meanwhile Afghanistan is going all to crap. It's conventional wisdom that we kicked butt there and moved on, but we did nothing of the sort. And now we've got major problems with our "ally" Pakistan. Peter confirms there are training camps in Pakistan and as many as 2,000 fighters in tribal areas. John asks Peter to compare the pre 9-11 Afghanistan to the Pakistan of today. Peter believes it's still very hard for al Qaeda to attack the US because "the al Qaeda ideology has been really rejected by the American-Muslim community. Secondly, the United States government has done things to make us safer. And, thirdly, al Qaeda is weakened. But it is regaining strength." Uh Peter, have you met our government? Oh wait, we take off our shoes in airports and carry our mouthwash in little plastic bags. Oh I do feel safer! Yeah, you guys give me a call when you've got the loose nuke stuff secured. Peter also believes that Bin Laden and Ayman al-Zawahri are still organizing things. Well they do make a lot of videos. If this whole terrorism thing doesn't work out they should totally go into producing. So to sum up, the Pakistan/Afghanistan situation? Crappy and getting crappier.

Transitioning back to Kiran in New York and she intros a Dan Simon piece on the three climbers and dog that were stranded on Mount Hood today. But good news, they've been rescued. Yay, happy ending for this one. So I guess those other three from December are dead. I know during that time I took a couple weeks off of watching 360, but did they ever update? One day it was wall to wall climber coverage and then nothing. I hate that. Give a girl some closure. Dan tries to talk to Kiran a bit, but he's having ear piece problems, so whatever. To people thinking about climbing Mount Hood maybe you could like...not. There just hasn't been a very good track record these past few months is all I'm saying.

On now to a Candy Crowley piece for I guess our only politics of the night. What's up with that 360? You're not even going to cover the Saturday Senate vote? I've basically given up on you for Libby trial coverage. And you call yourselves the best political team on television. Pshaw. Anyway, the piece is all about how republicans have to kiss Religious Right butt to get the votes they need. It's pander time! Ah, the smell of gay-hating is in the air. And who has figuratively sold his soul the worst to these crazies? Why, it's John McCain. See, not long ago, the sane McCain called Falwell and Robertson "agents of intolerance." But now he just lurves them. Lurves them so much he even spoke at Falwall's university. Looks like somebody's a flip flopper. Even Giuliani is trying to make his pro-choice and pro-gay rights stances look a little more appealing. He states that he doesn't like abortion. Yeah, because the rest of us would watch them for kicks if we could. I have to believe that someday the Religious Right will finally realize they're being manipulated. Can people really constantly be that stupid?

Transitioning back to Anderson live again and he intros a piece on orphaned manatees. Jeff and Anderson get in this little pool with the baby manatee and it really reminds me of the pool I had when I was a kid. Anderson feeds the manatee with a bottle. Aw. Too much cuteness. Oh, and this little baby has quite the sob story. First of all, it's mother was killed, but that wasn't good enough for the murderers. No, they also spiked a nail through the baby's fin and tied it to a stump, basically for kicks I guess. That is not cool. Luckily it was saved. Anderson and Jeff (with a little struggle) then lift the manatee out of the water for measurements and the worker says that they will try to release it back into the wild. You know, they really needed to explain better where the hell they are and who these people are taking care of the animals because at this point I have no idea. After the woman is done Anderson and Jeff attempt to put the manatee back in the water, but he's thrashing big time, so they have to wait a sec until he calms down.

Next up we're back to Kiran and she's got a piece on Britney Spears. No, I'm not kidding. Wish I was though. So apparently Britney shaved her head. I know, stop the presses! If this was a publicity stunt then mission accomplished because suddenly it's like a former playmate died or an astronaut drove cross country wearing a diaper. And because we so obviously need to explore this further, we've got Dr. Drew joining us. Oh yay. He speculates that she actually might be in some sort of dangerous situation. Well, if she is then I'm sure that people she doesn't know talking about all of this on national television is really helping her out. Kiran talks about how the people around Anna Nicole didn't stop her from downward spiraling. Oh c'mon! You know what's sick? There are people in news right now that are probably just salivating at the chance of Britney doing a major crash and burn. After all, it's their bread and butter as long as we idiotically continue to watch it. Dr. Drew notes that people ignoring problems is "how we lost Anna Nicole." Um, no. We did not lose Anna Nicole. You people exploited Anna Nicole and continue to exploit her decomposing body. If you want to help celebrities, do it in private. As far as the coverage for this, I didn't mind the mention of it, but the Dr. Drew speculation was ridiculous.

John King's doing the headlines tonight and he tells us of that India bombing that happened today. So okay, we get a piece on Britney Spears during each hour, but a 10 second soundbite on an act of terrorism that took 66 lives. Makes sense to me. The Shot tonight is new video of John F. Kennedy's motorcade right before he was killed. Apparently some guy filmed it that day and has just been hanging onto it all this time. Wow. Now it's going to a museum. At the end of the hour we get one more clip of Jeff and Anderson. Jeff is holding something I can't really see and he asks Anderson to give him his hand. Anderson does with a skeptical look, but then jerks it away. After this occurs again, Jeff yells, " Just trust me! Ready? " Anderson gives in and then sort of yells and jerks his hand back due to something obviously painful. What the hell? Oh, and now he's bleeding. Anderson shows the camera, "You're making me bleed. You said I could trust you and you make me bleed?" Bwah! I don't think Anderson is going to be trusting Jeff anymore. Jeff notes that the tree barb he just poked him with actually has bacteria in it that makes it sting badly. Oh well that was nice of you Jeff. You're a little sadistic, but I kind of love it. Anderson then turns to the camera and gives us all this look that says, "Can you freaking believe what I have to put up with?" So the hour basically ends with Anderson sucking the blood off his finger. I'm telling you, those two could have their own sitcom.

Okay so all the Amazon stuff is still more cute and cuddly than actually living up to the name "Planet in Peril." I still don't understand why we're not getting more environmental background pieces done from the states. I would think that wouldn't be that hard. As far as the rest of tonight it was pretty good. Too much Britney speculation obviously and they were lacking in some top stories, but still okay. B

Your continued thoughts on the Amazon coverage? Will the Religious Right fall for it again? Were you okay with the Britney coverage or too much? Am I sick, or are you also enjoying Jeff torture Anderson?

Screencaps by stillife.