Anderson Cooper Has Had Enough Of Your Birther Bullshit

Update 4/27/10: Hello all. I didn't ditch you. I've been slightly under the weather these past few days and decided to take it easy. The last thing someone like me needs is to become full-blown sick. So extra sleep it is! But I did watch Sanjay Gupta doing hosting duties last night. If we can't have Anderson, I like that we get someone so fancypants (a doctah!). Did you notice that Sanjay has the same intense-yet-slightly-confused listening face as the Silver Fox when it comes to financial news? Hilarious. Finally evidence that he too is a mere mortal like the rest of us.

Anyway, hopefully I'll be back to reviewing by Wednesday or Thursday. For now, be sure to check out this great piece from James Poniewozik on CNN's moderate bias. Pull quote:

Today, with technology making raw news a commodity, the challenge for consumers is sorting out politicized counterclaims on everything from health care to meteorology to security. Viewers want someone to cut through the kicked-up partisan dust. They want to hear, flat out, when someone is full of it. CNN too often gives both sides, then shrugs. A CNN anchor interviewing two party hacks and leaving us to decide who we should believe doesn't cut it.

Word. CNN could be the network that truly serves the citizens of this country and beyond. Instead, they too often play the fake balance game. The birther segment in the post below is what I wish we consistently saw from the network. Unfortunately at CNN it is the exception and not the rule.

Hi everybody. Guess who's baaaack? Well, technically the birthers never went away. You can stomp on them, but they'll just pop up again somewhere else. Like roaches. Tonight we learn that Arizona is jumping on the crazy train in an official capacity. Republican lawmakers in the state are trying to pass a law requiring candidates to show a birth certificate in order to get on the presidential ballot. OhMyGodICan'tBelieveWe'reStillTalkingAboutThis! *Deep breath*

Anderson Cooper takes us over to the Magic Wall to show us the evidence, once again, that Obama was in fact born in Hawaii. We're also informed of a seriously depressing poll that states that one in five people think Obama is Kenyan, and that another 23 percent aren't sure. The 23 percenters are testing my patience, but okay, maybe they're just not up on the basic information related to the leader of the free world. I mean, you know, American Idol is on and everything, so one gets busy. But the 20 percenters who think he is Kenyan? Can we vote them off the island?

This relaying of facts is followed by an interview with Arizona Republican State Representative Cecil Ash. And it is glorious. I have to say, if Anderson would have fake balanced this thing, I think that would have been it for me and him. But he did not. Instead, he did his job, and he did it very well. Our anchor starts off with the obvious question: "Do you believe Barack Obama is an American born in Hawaii?" Ash says what he's seen points to yes, but you can't believe everything you read on the Internet. What kind of answer is that?

Anderson wonders why he voted for this bill then, and Ash starts talking about the people who think Obama was born in Kenya. "But those people are wrong," says our anchor. "He is a U.S. citizen." Thank you! "Well, you're telling me that they're wrong. I have never investigated that. If he is, then he has nothing to fear," replies Ash. Just...wow. "There are some people who don't believe it, but there are also some people who believe that the moon is made out of cheese. And you can say you have never investigated it, but I think you would probably say the moon is not made out of cheese," says Anderson. So much win.

Our anchor then starts ticking off things Ash told his producer, starting with all the calls pertaining to the issue the representative allegedly gets from constituents. "Isn't it your job as a leader to actually lead, not to throw up your hands and say, well, who knows what's real or not on the Internet...?" More untruths are then brought up, including information that Ash had obtained from a fake April Fool's Day story. Oh good Lord. The representative's response to all of this is that he can't make concrete statements because he hasn't personally investigated. What about gravity? The roundness of the earth?

You know Cecil, I'm a bit concerned about this rumor on the Internets that you eat babies. Where on the Internets? Right here; you just read it! Now, I know you can't believe everything you read online, but I haven't personally investigated your baby eating. So, in the name of quelling controversy, I think we're going to need to make a law that no one can hold office as state representative in Arizona unless they sign a pledge not to eat babies. That sounds fair, right?

Anyhoo! Back in the interview, Anderson steers things to what it's all about: Obama and partisanship. Then he starts quizzing Ash on the birth places of prior presidents, and the guy is either clueless or shocked dumb at being called on his ridiculousness. You don't even know Hope, Arkansas? C'mon. This is pretty much where things wind down, with Anderson simply reiterating all his prior points. Man, that was cathartic. I really, really hate that it had to happen in the first place, but still cathartic. Somebody give our anchor a cookie. Facts: 1, Crazy birthers: 0. (Watch the video!)

This is followed up with discussion with Roland Martin and John Avlon. It's basically a pile on. Roland calls the Arizona lawmakers stupid, while John talks about partisanship. Anderson brings up race (though notes he hates to do so) and how Obama is viewed by some as "other." Of note from John: "Everyone's entitled to their own opinion, but not their own facts." Amen! And from Anderson: "It's one thing for people to understandably be confused about it or have formed some opinion. But it's another thing for legislators to actually act on it and use taxpayer time and money to focus on this kind of stuff." Yet here we are. This is why we need constant fact-checking from the media.

Transitioning now to the latest on that Iceland volcano (which I have lovingly renamed Stan). Now there's news that another volcano might become active. Dun dun dun! This other volcano is named Katla (I suppose I'll let this one keep its name), and in a subsequent report we watch Gary Tuchman drive--yes, drive--across a glacier to get to the peak. "We are now on the very top of Katla," says taped Gary. "If this volcano were to erupt, this is where it would emanate from." Dude! Then what are you doing there?! Should I add another "dun dun dun!"?

After his piece, Gary joins us live to talk more about Katla. He also notes that it's noisy there in Reykjavik because tomorrow is a holiday for the first day of summer (even though it's flippin' cold--oh, those crazy Icelanders). "Reykjavik is kind of a big drinking town, as I recall, isn't it?" asks Anderson. Gary confirms that it's a party town, but that he's going to sleep after talking to us. Suuure. Partay!

Next up, we have Chad Myers for the weather stuff and I zone out a bit. Love ya Chad, but I'm not a huge meteorology fan. However, my ears perk up when I hear the word "volcanologist" used. Um, what now? And I should have known that it would stand out to our anchor as well. "You have been talking to Vulcans?" he asks. From Chad: "I have, yes fly and be free, burial at sea." Again, um, what now?

We next transition to a Joe Johns piece that's like Terry Schiavo II, though thankfully without the death by feeding tube removal. About four years ago Abbie Dorn had triplets, but after the delivery she began to internally hemorrhage, resulting in brain injury. She's now in a kind of persistent vegetative state, being cared for by her parents, who claim she communicates by blinking her eyes. They say she wants to see her children, but Abbie's now ex-husband doesn't want them to see her because he's been told she has no cognitive function and is incapable of interaction. Now both sides are entangled in a legal battle over visitation. Sad situation.

Following the piece, Sanjay Gupta and Jeffrey Toobin join us for the medical and legal aspects of the case. Sanjay talks about the difficulties of assessing cognition and Jeffrey notes that with cognition a person has more legal rights. I was wondering why Anderson seemed to be so into this story and then he said this: "I had a dad who died in the hospital when I was 10 years old and wasn't able to go see him in a hospital and will, you know, never forget that." Oh. And aw.

I've used up my time, so I'm skipping ahead to the "shot," which is video of a wasted guy at Coachella Music Festival trying to put on his flip flops. I love Anderson's narration. Also? That video reminds me of this for some reason. That'll do it for me. The show was definitely more interesting to watch tonight than the rest of the week. Yay for smacking down ridiculousness--I just wish it didn't exist in the first place.

South Park Creators Threatened, More On The Iceland Volcano (Otherwise Known As Stan), And Michael Douglas's Son Charged With Drug Dealing

Hi everyone. Tonight we're kicking it off with...um, I don't exactly know. Glee ran long and I was distracted by its complete awesomeness. When I flipped over, Drew Griffin was on my screen. Yay? And they were talking about South Park. Um, what? Okay, from what I can make out, in continuing their quest to absolutely piss off everyone they possibly can, Trey Parker and Matt Stone put the prophet Mohammad in a bear suit. It was a compromise with Comedy Central. Yeah.

Now a radical group has laid down a kind of fatwa on the South Park creators because they feel it's highly offensive for the prophet Mohammad to be shown--even, apparently, in a bear suit. It's a bit of an exercise in passive aggressiveness, actually. The group's website is like, this isn't a threat, but you're probably going to end up like Theo van Gogh. Not a threat. It's like an FYI. With stabbing.

I have a question: is 360 really leading with a story about South Park? Yeah, yeah, it's not really about the show. I know. But the whole radical-Muslims-going-nuts-over-portrayals-of-Mohammad thing isn't new. Anyway, for discussion we're joined by Ayaan Hirsi Ali, the writer of Theo van Gogh's film. I'm just going to assume you're familiar.

I'm not exactly an Ali fan. I'm with her on her views of freedom of speech; not so much on Islam. She doesn't seem to make any distinction between the moderate and radical factions of the religion, and thus alienates some of the very people who would normally be on her side. It bugs me a bit that she's allowed to go on these news shows and come off much more sympathetic than she would if her past statements were revealed. But you can't deny she's led quite a life. You can check out profiles of her here and here.

Transitioning back to that volcano in Iceland, which I have renamed Stan. Yes, I wield that kind of power. Our intrepid correspondent Gary Tuchman is still on-the-ground, and in a report from him we get to see, well, what he didn't see. Zero visibility looking out from inside of the car. Ash, ash, everywhere. We're also shown footage from Gary's helicopter ride. Craziness. I like how he tells us their pilot was "a very good one." That's what I would have went with too.

Then we're on to Chad Myers talking about, you know, weather stuff. Says Chad: "I'm going to call it the E-15 volcano -- because I can't say it." Apparently he hasn't heard we're now calling it Stan. Also? I love his description of the volcano's lightening: "It's like a million little people rubbing their feet on the carpet, making shocks and making sparks in the winter time when the humidity is low." From now on I'm totally going to think of teeny little feet every time I see lightening.

Now time for the business side of the story with Richard Quest, who unfortunately for him, is still stranded. The good news is that a lot of planes are flying again, thanks in part to adjusting the levels of what's deemed safe to fly through. I dunno. Seems like the Civil Aviation Authority might be bowing to pressure from the airlines. In any regards, if you don't have to travel? "They're barking mad if they actually go anywhere near an airport and you don't actually have to get on a plane," says Richard. You heard it here.

Moving on to a Randi Kaye piece about Michael Douglas's son Cameron, who has been charged with dealing drugs. Meh. This is followed by discussion with Jeffrey Toobin and addiction specialist...Dr. Reef Karim? What have you done with Dr. Drew?! Yay for at least having on someone else, though if it were up to me, this entire segment wouldn't even exist. I mean, here we have a legal expert who wrote a freaking book on the Supreme Court, and instead of discussing today's decision, we're focused on some celebrity's kid. Because that makes sense. You're kinda killing me here, 360.

That'll do it for me. I didn't look for the "shot" because I think we've seen enough mascot falls. Again, not their best night. Gary has pretty much been carrying the show for the past two days. South Park. Cameron Douglas. WTF? I hope they're going back to Haiti soon. Perhaps I'm being unfair because 360 had the unfortunate experience of being sandwiched between what were truly great episodes of Glee and The Daily Show. Still. They can do so much better.

More Volcanic Ash In Iceland Causing All Sorts Of Problems, Conspiracy Theorists Continue To Exist, & Seriously, Screw Goldman Sachs

Hi everyone. We're kicking things off tonight with Mother Nature gone wild. I don't think we've seen this much craziness out of Iceland since Bjork. Apparently, the volcano there has been angered, because today it spewed out even more ash. Perhaps it's upset that no one can pronounce its name correctly. Eyjafjallajokull? C'mon! You can hurt yourself saying that. None of the 360 kids even try. They're just going to pretend like it doesn't have a name, I guess. Also? Are we absolutely positively sure that the whole 2012-world's-gonna-end thing isn't true? Because if you'll look to your left, there's freaking lightening coming out of a volcano. I mean, I'm just sayin'.

Anyway. Gary Tuchman is still on-the-ground in Iceland and Anderson Cooper informs us he actually got caught in an ash cloud. Did he ever. Take a look at the picture of Gary that I stole borrowed am using to promote his awesome blog post (heh). He looks like he's broadcasting from post-armageddon. I am very happy to see the mask, but I'm a bit worried about Team Gary's lungs right now. And of course, this isn't just about a news crew bringing us cool images--farmers live there and now their livelihood is covered in ash. God knows the long term effects of breathing the ash. Seeing as though it can stall a plane engine, I'm thinking not good.

Gary also talks to us live by phone (satellite went down) about the extremely poor visibility in the ash. At one point they just had to stop driving because they couldn't see anything. Then when the ash cleared a bit they discovered they were on a collision course with another vehicle. So basically? Danger, danger, everywhere. Oh, and Gary went up in a helicopter to check out the volcano too, which I imagine was both awesome and terrifying. Hopefully this volcano--which I think I'm going to refer to as Stan--will calm down soon.

After Gary, we have Chad Myers live to talk about the ash and the millions of travelers who are stuck. One such traveler is CNNI's Richard Quest, and he joins us in studio since, well, I guess he has nothing better to do. Actually, Richard is pretty relevant to this story given his business expertise and the financial implications on the airlines of all these grounded flights. Yet I still can't help laughing every time I see him. If that end-of-the-world thing does happen, they should totally have Richard anchor. It won't seem quite so bad.

Transitioning now to an acknowledgment that today is the 15th anniversary of the Oklahoma City bombing; a day when 168 people lost their lives. Today was also a day of pro-gun rallies and protests against the government, which segues us into a Drew Griffin piece on some of these like-minded people. The first person we meet is Catherine Bleish of the Liberty Restoration Project. Drew asks her if Obama was born in the U.S. "I don't know that, but everyone should question that at this point," she replies. Oh. My. God. His birth certificate is on the Internet, independent fact-checkers have held the original, a birth announcement was published in the Honolulu Advertiser...what more do you people want?!!

Ahem. I'm okay now. Okay, so thing is, best I can tell, conspiracy theorists don't really want you to "question," but rather to believe their craziness. Because anyone who questions Obama's citizenship will quickly find the proof they need to confirm he's an American. One of the other whoppers thrown at us is HR-645, AKA the "Oh my God, they're going to throw us in FEMA camps!" bill. Drew notes that it's stalled, but that's pretty much where the reporting ends. He does even tell us the introducer, much less call them for the context.

Anyway, that Catherine person seems nice and all and I'm down with her desire to work together for the good of the country, but I don't see that happening when there are people who refuse to accept simple proven facts. (Also, Obama doesn't want to take your guns, people. In case you haven't noticed, he's kinda busy right now.) This is all followed by discussion with centrist dude John Avlon. It's noted that April 19th is also the anniversary of Waco and Lexington and Concord. These are big dates for violence. Virginia Tech was April 16th; Columbine April 20th. As T.S. Eliot said, April is the cruelest month.

Moving on now to Anderson at the Magic Wall, giving us info on those douchebags at Goldman Sachs. This is important and everything, but I kinda got distracted with breaking news (on Twitter) that Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert will be staying put through 2012. Yay! I don't know how I'd get through an election without my boys. They're my longest news relationship! Anyway, back to my second-longest news relationship (360 got bumped after I "broke up" with Countdown), we've got Michael Lewis and David Gergen and Alexis Glick, but meh. I'm not in the mood.

The "shot" tonight is Willie Nelson on Larry King. Again. Actually, it's Joe Johns' reaction to the edited clip, except he doesn't realize it's edited. I'm not nearly as amused by this as the Silver Fox. "I can't believe you thought that's what actually happened," he says. Well dude, you are supposed to be the most trusted name in news.

I wasn't all that interested in the show, if we're being honest (and I kinda always am). The stuff Gary brought us was amazing. Other than that? Eh. Sorta boring. Tomorrow is another day.

Volcano photograph by Marco Fulle, Barcroft/Fame Pictures