Author Of Pedophile Guide Arrested, Pundits Are Dumb, Michael Vick Gets Support From The Humane Society, & Food Safety

Hi everyone. Perhaps Anderson Cooper had some Christmas shopping to finish up, because tonight we were treated to anchoring from CNN's own Dr. McDreamy, Sanjay Gupta. Yeah, I've started watching Grey's Anatomy again. It's a sickness! Anyhoo, the bullet points of awesomeness await:

• We begin with the news that the creepy author of the sick pedophile guide has been arrested. The twist? He's in Colorado; it was the state of Florida who made the arrest. But we'll get to that in a minute. First we're given a sum up of the 360 kid's prior coverage. This gives us some Silver Fox face time and brings everyone up to speed. Two birds, one stone.
  

• Okay, I think we all agree that the pedophile book is gross and shocking and just all around full of fail. But did Florida really have the right to arrest this creep? It's not clear that he violated federal law. Free speech doesn't just pertain to speech we like. To ponder this very subject, we were joined by Jeffrey Toobin and Grady Judd, sheriff from Polk County, Florida.
  

• A good discussion. For some random lulz, check out Toobin's reaction when the sheriff says, "You know, our lawyer friend [referring to Jeffrey] is still calling it kiddie porn. That is offensive to all the children that are victims of child sex in this country." It was actually a pretty unfair thing for him to say. At no point did Toobin even hint that he thought child porn was anything less than an extremely serious crime.

• I almost enjoyed tonight's political segment, which might be a first for me. I think it was because the 360 kids were basically like, hey, let's gawk at the stupidity of the beltway chattering class! Loved the "one-term president" montage. Anyone who would make that claim when the Commander in Chief still has two years to go is just an effing moron, I'm sorry.
  

• Sanjay: "A pair of Democratic pollsters writing -- quote -- 'To be great, Obama should not seek reelection in 2012.'" This kind of thing really needs to be stated with more context. Like, first of all, names.

• Sanjay: "Well, if you're wondering how Washington can be so fickle, well, so are we. We also couldn't help but wonder if Mr. Obama is finally getting some credit, in some corners, at least, for all the heavy lifting he's been doing since day one. You can agree or disagree with the policies. The fact is, though, from getting Detroit in and out of bankruptcy to passing 'don't ask, don't tell' he's now put together a pretty long record of keeping campaign promises." Wow. All true, but I never expected to hear it said.

• For discussion, we had Paul Begala and Erick Erickson. Erick's take of the new Obama Comeback Kid meme: "This news story is exactly what's wrong with Washington and the way politics is covered. Events change things. I could have told you the day after the election that, within a month or two, we would start hearing positive stories about the president's agenda. Here's another news flash, some time in 2012, we're going to hear ominous stories about infighting within the Obama administration and the campaign..." Though it pains me to agree with Erick (WHAT IS HAPPENING?), he's spot on. I've said it once and I know I'll say it again, the majority of these media narratives are idiotic and a waste of time. Remember when Obama wasn't angry enough about the BP oil spill? Yeah.
  

• I wish the 360 kids would take this no BS approach more often.

• Moving on to the subject of Michael Vick maybe again having a dog someday. This is kinda strange. We were just snarking over this last week in the RidicuList and now we're going to be all serious about it? Okay. Hope they don't get in a habit of that. We were joined by Wayne Pacelle of the Humane Society, who gives Vick more support than you might guess. Interesting.
  

• Good segment on the food safety bill. I love that they (semi) called out Glenn Beck on his, well, batshittery. Also loved the fact-check on Senator Coburn, and I was particularly tickled that Sanjay spoke directly to him, addressing him as 'Dr. Coburn.' You could practically hear him thinking, I can't believe this man is a doctor. The accountability-keeping was followed up with discussion from Erick (oh why not) and Top Chef's Tom Colicchio.

• Senator Joe Manchin made tonight's RidicuList. His crime? Skipping out on important Senate votes (DADT, Dream Act) to attend a "holiday gathering." Meanwhile, his cancer-striken colleague, Ron Wyden, showed up to work. Nice. Look Congresscritters, if you don't want the job, we can find someone who does.
  

• Finally tonight, a huge congrats to AC360 staffers Vladimir Duthiers and Hannah Yi, as well as NBCer Adam Desiderio for their story that ran in the show's second hour. A few months ago the trio went to Haiti to do some independent reporting and tonight we saw some of the fruits of their labor. The package focused on Douglas Perlitz, an American who started a charity in 1997 to care for homeless Haitian boys, and who has recently admitted to sexually abusing some of those same children. You can read more here, and I'll try to post the video if CNN ever puts it up.

• The show wasn't bad. A little bland. I'm not sure the pedophile thing deserved top story treatment.
  

Spending Bill Yanked, Birther Sentenced, Checking In On Afghanistan, And Playing Tribute To Larry King

Hi everyone. Quite the historic night for CNN! Larry King will be missed. But we'll talk about that later. The bullet points first have other business to attend to, so pop on your solidarity suspenders and let's get this show on the road.

• Hey, raise your hand if you hate Congress. It seems that these days our legislators aren't effective at anything...except sucking. See, they were supposed to get this spending bill passed (you know, to fund the government--important!), but Harry Reid had to yank it because some Republicans are going back on their word to vote for the thing because they're in a tizzy over earmarks. Sigh. Also? Senator Jim DeMint is kinda being a dick. I mean, I'm just sayin'.

• Anderson Cooper: "We should point out that Senator DeMint was the star of tonight's game-playing, but there has been plenty of blame to go around on both sides of the aisle. What's amazing, though, is how many politicians on both sides of the aisle can stand up, that is when they're not playing games and speak out against -- wait for it -- all the game-playing." Balance! But the latter part of this statement was backed up with a montage showing legislators from "both sides of the aisle" talking about game playing. Good job. In this case they proved their balance-y statement. That's all I'm ever asking for.
  

• For discussion, we were joined by Erick Erickson, Gloria Borger, and Steve Kornacki of Salon.com. Despite my rather strong dislike of Erick, this panel wasn't too bad. Well, it didn't make me want to jab something sharp in my eye, anyway. Improvement!
  

• Our anchor: "This is probably a naive question, but, I mean, when it comes down to it, what's wrong with letting a bill come up for a vote?" Oh, honey...

• Actually, there's nothing wrong with that happening. That would be great! But unfortunately, the Silver Fox is using the reasoning of a moral sane person, and, well, we're talking about the senate. Remember when you learned about Congress in your ninth grade civics class and you thought it was this noble institution? If you're a political junkie, eventually you learn how things really work...and you cry sad tears.
  

• Anderson responding to Gloria's statement that the White House wants to get it all: "Yes. Well, I want a pony for Christmas. I don't think I'm going to get it. So, we will see." I don't know. I think you have a better shot at that than the rest of us.
  

• Tonight we learned that Lieutenant Colonel Terrence Lakin--a birther previously humiliated by our anchor--was sentenced to six months in military prison for defying orders. Basically his distinguished career is now over, his pension gone. All because of a batshit conspiracy theory. Since feeling the heat, Lakin has done a 180, expressing his regrets regarding the entire thing.
  

• This whole story is just sad. It's pretty obvious he was used by the birther movement, but it's hard to feel sorry for him. As Anderson said to his lawyer during that weird and contentious interview, "the guy's an adult."
  

• We were joined by Jeffrey Toobin and JAG officer Thomas Kenniff for the legal lowdown.

• Toobin: "Well, you know, you asked at the beginning, was he a pawn or he did get what he deserved? I think the answer is yes to both of them. I mean, he was a pawn. But I'm sorry. You know, this is not some 18- year-old private who had his head turned by some fancy lawyer. This is a doctor, 18 years in the military. He has to know that, in the military, you have to follow orders." Bingo.

• We were then shown a clip of Mike Jones, the security officer who took down school board shooter Clay Duke. He sounds like a pretty humble and awesome guy. As for the 360 kids, they get points for foregoing airing the video during the teases as they had been doing the past couple days, but they still ran it too much as Mike was talking.

• The "shot" tonight was a video that contained the Pope, and half-naked men eagerly demonstrating their flexibility. I gotta say, the watchful eye of His Holiness is a total buzzkill when you're trying to enjoy some good old fashioned softcore porn.

• Afghanistan coverage! Is it my birthday? A new strategic review says things are not so bright and sunny in the country, and really, we didn't need a report to tell us that. To keep Obama honest, the 360 kids hit us with a montage that shows the Commander in Chief continuously talking about the war's progress. That was very finely edited, so I guess we'll just have to trust that he was really talking about Afghanistan in every one of those clips. Because seriously, in one clip he simply said, "I would add that." Um, okay. This isn't exactly a criticism, but more like a word of caution: don't fall into the trap of making the clips fit the agenda, 360. It might someday get you into trouble. Still love those montages though!

• Great discussion with Peter Bergen and Sebastian Junger. I want to see "Restrepo."

• Michael Vick earned himself a spot on the RidicuList tonight after expressing his desire to once again be a dog owner. Um, what? Yeah, that's not happening. The 360 kids suggested that he maybe start out with a goldfish or a Pepperidge Farm goldfish cracker. ("Friends" fan on staff? "That's not a fish. That's a goldfish cracker." Oh, Chandler.) They then introduced us to a German toy called the Cackle Dackle, and hilarity ensued. It's a toy dog that, well, does his business. "You see that? See that?" asked Anderson. The look on his face was priceless. Yes, we saw. And you are 12. Hilarious.
  

• Tonight an icon left his chair. I've had my issues with Larry King (softball questions, occasional shocking tactlessness, promotion of unsavory figures, etc.), but you cannot deny that the man has had an amazing career. It seems that 360 had plans to go to Larry live at the party he was attending, though that apparently didn't work out. Instead they played this look back:

• His last broadcast, like the man himself, contained a lot of awkwardness, but was ultimately pretty charming. Loved BriWi, Katie Couric's poem, and Cannon's impression. Also, our anchor succeeded in expertly sucking the snark right out of me. God damn, Silver Fox. God damn. Below is Anderson's very touching thank you to Larry, including words from his own father:
  

• Still no Gary Tuchman in Haiti. Sad face.

• The show was pretty good. Honesty-keeping. Variety. Some humor. No Loesch. Ahem. Yes, I'm fairly pleased.