TSA Gets Frisky With Their Pat-Downs, Charles Rangel Still Totally Corrupt, And Dolpins Are Awesomely Smart

Hi everyone. I didn't bother blogging the end of last week because I felt like I already covered all of the suckiness on Wednesday and, well, they didn't improve. ANYWAY. Let's hope for a better one this time around. Away we go:

• Have you been lonely lately? Dateless perhaps? Well, you're in luck! Book yourself a trip and head on down to the airport security line because the TSA screeners are giving out free molestations! That's right, hide your kids, hide your wife, hide your husband too. Because though they may not be raping, they're getting pretty damn close to sexually assaulting everyone up in here.

• So, by now we're all aware that the TSA has recently unveiled scanner machines that let them see you, well, NAKED. If you don't want to be virtually stripped for a stranger, your only other option is to have a stranger get all gropey with your most private of areas. Isn't modern day travel fun? Well, passenger John Tyner didn't think so. This past weekend he put his foot down and turned his camera on. The resulting video went viral. And now here we are again having the privacy versus security debate.

• My view? We've all gone frickin' crazy. Obviously the threat of terrorism is real and sacrifices do need to be made in the name of security, but it's devastating to me to hear people say that anything is okay as long as it's done in the name of keeping us safe. When did we become such scared little cowards? Have Americans always been like this and 9-11 just brought it to the forefront? You're really willing to give up any right, no questions asked?

• The thing is, some measures have been great (securing the cockpit doors gets a gold star, for example), but a lot of this stuff isn't consistent and sometimes makes no sense. We're traumatizing three-year-olds when the cargo isn't completely secure? At some point it all starts to feel like security theater--a bunch of rules to make us feel safe. Except, now a lot of us are feeling violated. Also? Homeland security is basically a business now and if you don't think some of these measures are being pushed primarily based on profit, there's a bridge I'd like to sell you.

• Can the broadcast always start with Anderson Cooper saying, "If you touch my junk, I'm going to have you arrested." Okay, yes, he's quoting Mr. Tyner and not talking about his own bits and pieces, but still, funny.
  

• I'm glad the 360 kids dug up the info that, contrary to the claims of the TSA, scan images actually can be stored and transmitted. Because, uh, duh? Seriously, is there anyone who really believes that this stuff isn't going to some day end up on the Internets? That's why I think I'll opt for the molestation. Not to mention the radiation factor. Segment below:
  

• I found the discussion with Erick Erickson and Jeffrey Toobin highly disturbing. Why? Because I agreed with Erick and was annoyed by Jeffrey's attitude. WHAT IS HAPPENING?! Is this how the world ends?

• I fear that some of these conservatives are going to use this situation to push for profiling. For the record, Erick mentions "behavior," which I'm cool with--unless of course that's code word for "Muslim-looking."
  

• Anderson on his own personal experience with being groped: "I went through this for the first time this weekend flying out of Chicago. And everyone was very nice and professional, but I got to tell you, it feels incredibly intrusive. I had a pat-down after I had this thing, because I left my wallet in my pants. And, I mean, it's pretty rigorous." We're already all thinking the same thing, do I need to make the jokes? Yes, apparently some TSA agents have all the luck.

• Seriously though, this must suck extra hard for celebrities. Obviously it would be unprofessional and a fireable offense for Mr. TSA Groper to relay his experience, but is he legally bound from doing so? I actually don't know.
  

• Toobin on Tyner's accusation that the pat-downs are akin to sexual assault: "I'm not sure that's accurate. But so what?" So what? Oh man, when Erick is the reasonable one...I am so done. Unfortunately, he's still Erick, so he made his arguments pretty poorly.
  

• Bah. I used up all my time on the prior story, so now we're in hyper-drive. Below is the segment on Charlie Rangel walking out of his own ethics trial. Also? Yay montage!
  

• I want to mention the story in the Bulletin regarding the seventh grader whose parents are being sued for negligence after he was struck and killed while riding his bike without a helmet. I think my regular readers know where this is going. ANDERSON COOPER WEAR A DAMN HELMET! I know your bike has been stolen twice. THE UNIVERSE HAS SPOKEN.

• Having "the shot" in the middle of the show? Madness!

• Skipping ahead to Randi Kaye's piece on dolphins, which was awesome and adorable, and...can there always be dolphins?

• New segment alert! Give a warm welcome to RidicuList. No, I'm not kidding. I really hope this is some kind of inside joke about Rick Sanchez. Anyhoo, calling out Cindy McCain over her bizarre 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell' flip flop? Very nice. But the segment name? Am I supposed to be laughing?
  

• The show wasn't bad. Though there were some disconcerting moments, at no time did my head want to explode. This is an improvement!