Turtles, Oysters, And Continued BP Sucking--Oh My!

Hi everyone. Tonight the 360 kids came at us from the Audubon Aquatic Center sea turtle rehabilitation program. They took my advice to shake things up! Kidding. Hey man, we all need our fantasies. So...the bullet points? Would you like them? Away we go:

• Below is our anchor's interview with Fred McCallister of Allegiance Capital, who is scheduled to testify before a Senate committee regarding his belief that BP is trying to disperse and sink the oil instead of skimming.
  

• James Carville and Billy Nungesser were on for discussion. Again. I'm getting to the point where I'm tuning out their segments. In some cases they are literally saying the same things over and over again. I realize that the majority of viewers probably don't watch every night, but it's getting old for me.

• Randi Kaye had a piece on BP's so-called "reporters." If the media isn't giving you good PR, make your own! Anyone remember this? "From Washington, I'm Karen Ryan reporting." If you get the reference without Googling, you get a cookie.
  

• Anderson Cooper: "For 70-some odd days now, I have been kind of, I guess, complaining or pointing out the lack of transparency that BP has, even though they had promised transparency." Kind of? Dude, understatement. But you get on with your bad self.

• Turtles! I'm sorry, turtles are just cool. And who knew feeding them mayonnaise could help remove oil? Our anchor's piece is below:

• I unfortunately don't have the turtle segment that was live, but I loved how that turtle had its "arms" straight up in the air like it just got chased down by the cops or was about to break out some YMCA moves. To help our turtle friends, go to auduboninstitute.org.
  

• During the broadcast, Tropical Storm Alex turned into Hurricane Alex. Ruh Roh. The announcement was accompanied by an uptick in Anderson Cooper's excitement level. Do I detect a hint of Hurricane Guy still in there somewhere? Man, remember when hurricanes used to be fun? Okay, granted, they were always probably not fun for someone out there, but things used to be different. Hurricanes were all about watching your favorite reporters get bitch-slapped by Mother Nature to the point of loopiness. It was like watching wet drunk people on live TV. It. Was. Awesome. "Weather porn" was I believe the coined phrase. Then Hurricane Katrina happened and instead of "weather porn," we got a flooded city and over a thousand dead. Kinda took the buzz out of hurricane fun. And now there's oil. It's like the universe has to keep upping the ante. Here comes the Oily Floody Death Monster Of Terror! I swear people, at this point all we can really do is sit back and wait for the locusts.

• Chad Myers, madly scribbling away the hurricane forecast in a way only he can: "See, that's a longer distance than this is here. The Isosceles triangle. There's the hypotenuse there, a word you didn't ever think you'd use again. A hypotenuse is father." I love a man who gets abnormally excited about Geometry.
  

• Anderson's tour of the re-opened oyster beds is below. Yes, I cringed when he sucked down that oyster. That's the second time he's done that! The first time was on May 28th (this blog isn't just snarky criticism; it can also be used as reference material!). Anyway, personally, not recommended. But our anchor is crazy, so there's that.
  

• The Silver Fox struggling to harvest oysters was pretty hilarious. I love that he clearly knows we enjoy laughing at him, and apparently he's okay with that. We mock with love, Anderson! He looked like he was trying to maneuver really big chop sticks. "All that and I got one. It was pretty pathetic. [Mitch Jurisich] said I was like Forest Gump on his first time out shrimping," says our anchor. Ha. Don't quit your day job, kid.

• That'll do it for me. The show was better tonight, but they still have a bit of that rut thing going on. A question: whatever happened to Culprits of the Catastrophe? They can't be done already.

• This bullet point is a shout out to Larry King. I may have my issues with his interviewing style, but CNN primetime is losing a legend.