Monday, November 03, 2008

The Night Before

Hi everybody. Well, here we are. Months upon months of debates, ads, attacks, speeches, controversies, humor, punditry, and acts of insanity too numerous to mention have brought us to this point in time. How are you guys holding up? Would you like a paper bag to breathe into? Because if you're not going to use it, I might. I'm going to speed through tonight's show, reviewing mostly for the humor and record of it all. So here we go, one last time before history is made, one way or another.

The show kicks off with the very sad news that not only did Obama's Nevada campaign director die suddenly from a heart attack, his beloved grandmother, Madelyn Payne Dunham (known as "Toot" by Obama), succumbed to cancer mere days before her grandson might be elected president of the United States. There really isn't a way to express how much that totally sucks. As if the campaign hasn't been hard enough. The good news is that Obama is up seven points in CNN's poll of polls. Not a bad place to be on election eve.

Candy Crowley brings us a piece on Obama's day out on the trail. While in North Carolina, he talked about his grandmother and became emotional . Aw. And hey Yahoo, do think you could add a few more close up pictures of him crying to your slideshow? It's just not intrusive enough yet. Geez. We then flip to the McCain campaign with a piece from Dana Bash. The "maverick" seems to have opted to spend his last day deep in the state of denial. He's sure they're going to win, but he's playing defense, and if you ask his advisers, victory would be nothing short of a miracle. Let's hope this is one miracle that doesn't come through.

We then move on to John King and his Magic Map, which is sure to get a huge workout tomorrow night. As for how the race looks now, well, McCain may like to be the underdog, but I don't think even he wants to be this much of an underdog. To win he would have to win all the toss ups, take Pennsylvania (where Obama has a commanding lead), and turn another blue state red. Stranger things have happened, but I think there might be a better chance of Joe the Unlicensed Plumber declaring himself a socialist.

Moving on now to our inevitable nightly panel, which Anderson Cooper deems "supersized" for this pre-election occasion. And is it ever! We're joined by David Gergen, Roland Martin, Paul Begala, Bay Buchanan, Ed Rollins, and Gloria Borger. Man. As if blogging three panelists isn't hard enough. The show is totally trying to kill me. Anyhoo, they start off by talking turnout and our pundits seem pretty impressed with Obama's ground game. I myself got a call today from California. I was so excited that it was a real woman and not a robocall, I talked her ear off. She told me that the Ayers thing is apparently working with some people. Grrr.

I also got a call today from Wyoming about my governor's race, which I thought was kind of weird. The best part was that the caller id simply said "Wyoming." Like the whole state was calling me. I guess that's what happens when hardly anyone lives there. But anyway, back with the panel, Anderson brings up the results of the non legislative board Troopergate investigation. It seems this one determined Palin to be free and clear of all wrongdoing. Paul tells us he actually hadn't heard that and Anderson jokes that he must skip over the right's positive stories. I hadn't heard that either. I'm still trying to find an honest conservative blog to read. I won't give Drudge the hits. I won't.

McCain's latest attack on Obama is also discussed. Care to wager a guess on the subject? It's coal. Seriously. A day before the election he starts ranting about coal. I mean, WTF? Even Bay concedes that they waited too late to get into this subject. More than anything, Roland is worried about tomorrow's turnout. He fears the lines are going to be long. Me too. But if they are, we will wait. Simple as that. Anderson then starts doing his out-to-commercial spiel, noting that later we'll get predictions from the pundits and hear Palin make another gaffe. The rest of the panel is off camera, but apparently Anderson is keeping watch as he's speaking. "Don't roll your eyes at me, Gloria Borger," he says. Ha! I hope this is an indicator that we will be seeing pundits-gone-wild tomorrow.

Coming back from commercial, the group talks robocalls, and undecideds (how can there still be undecideds?!!) and race. We're shown a live shot of an Obama crowd in Virginia and even the non partisans can't help but be impressed. Although, Bay of course brushes it off, claiming Virginia was turning Democratic anyway. Ed clarifies her point: "Her point, there's 600,000 new voters who moved into Northern Virginia since the 2000 census. The dynamics of that state have changed dramatically." "Are those ACORN voters?" asks Anderson. Hey! Uncool. I'm slightly offended. Okay, not really. Because he was actually going to clarify, but Roland cut him off, and I'm pretty sure he didn't mean anything by it, but still, snark gone wrong!

We then move on to Tom Foreman at a map, but it does not appear to be magic. Now that I've been spoiled, all other maps underwhelm me. Basically, Tom's just showing us what to expect as far as results coming in. We then listen in to the aforementioned Obama speech.

Next, we bounce back to our panel for predictions from the punditocracy. Say that five times fast. Anyway, everybody agrees this is Obama's race. Well everybody except Bay, who, like McCain, has positioned herself in the state of denial. Although, she's not completely alone. The Gerg is being very cautious, proclaiming the race still up for grabs (though he thinks it will go to Obama). "You know, one of the things I found from the voters, especially reading the blog sites for CNN is -- and 360, is they don't want to be told how they're going to vote," he tells us. True, but it should also be noted that a portion of the 360 bloggers are crazy. You know who I'm talking about.

Transitioning now for some fun from the "you can't make this stuff up" file. It seems that Sarah Palin was pranked by a Canadian comedy duo pretending to be the president of France. Nope, not kidding. Her staff not only took the call, but they gave it right over to the VP hopeful herself, who proceeded to engage in an overly-excited conversation that was at times both hilarious and cringe-inducing. What I love about the call is that she so clearly can't understand half of what he's saying, so she just laughs and agrees with him, even when he's talking about watching a porno made about her. So, obviously, the question here is how the hell did this happen? "We had people calling in all the time, pretending to be Bill Clinton. We don't, like, put them on the air, you know? We, like, call them back. It's amazing to me," says Anderson. What else is there to say, really?

The Shot tonight is McCain on Saturday Night Live. Keith Olbermann watchers should check out the spoof they did on him too. Spot on. The show went on for two live hours tonight, but that's all for me and the review. I couldn't get the webcast to work. I'm not even sure there was one. As for tomorrow, I'm sure I'll do a post sometime. When and what it will be, I couldn't really tell you. I'm just hoping it's not going to be a plea for someone to confiscate my belt and shoelaces.

Okay, so I'm pretty sure I don't have to tell my regular readers this, but just in case, VOTE! VOTE! And remember you're not picking just a president. Inform yourself on your local ballot initiatives as well. VOTE! I don't care if the lines are long. VOTE! I don't care if you're tired. VOTE! I don't care if the sky turns black and it starts raining frogs a la Magnolia. VOTE! Do not leave your polling place until your vote is cast. If you won't do it for yourself, do it for the millions around the world who have no voice in this election, but know its outcome will affect them tremendously. VOTE! VOTE! VOTE!


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