Thursday, October 30, 2008

McCain Defending His Home State, Joe The Unlicensed Plumber Going Way Over His 15 Minutes, Obama Speaks At Mizzou, And . . . Then Eliza Loses Interest

Hi everybody. We kick things off with a live picture of the University of Missouri in Columbia, or Mizzou, as we call it, which is where Obama will be speaking shortly. For right now though, we're moving into a Candy Crowley piece that informs us Obama is on the offense in Republican counties. The "maverick" could be losing ground all over. Even his home state of Arizona is starting to look up for grabs, which actually had me feeling generally sorry for him. Of course, I got over the feeling really quick after I learned McCain is defending his territory the only way he knows how: negative robocalls--this time fearmongering with Rezko.

Also? McCain still seems to be under the impression that we give a crap about Joe the Unlicensed Plumber, who was the subject of a big whoopsie out on the trail today. McCain gets stood up and it's his own campaign's fault. Damn. That's embarrassing. After Candy's piece, Anderson Cooper notes that Joe is telling people he's voting for McCain, a "real American," which obviously implies Obama is not a real American (it also obviously implies that Joe is a dick). He wonders if the McCain camp has any control over what the unlicensed plumber is spouting. "No, I don't think anybody has any control over Joe the plumber, and that's pretty much the beauty of him, I think," says Candy.

I beg to differ about that last part, but I think she's right on the money with her "no." I mean, even Shepherd Smith of Fox News is boggled by this guy. Anderson then brings up the fact that Joe now has an agent and a publicist. No, he's not kidding. And if you go to that link, you'll see he also now has a record deal. I'll just pause the review until after you stop screaming.

Transitioning now to John King at his Magic Map and it looks like Nevada is starting to trend blue. Woo hoo! It's a dead heat in Ohio. John tells us it will be a big challenge for McCain to win, but it's doable. It's not over till it's over, people.

Coming back from commercial, we get played a clip of our favorite unlicensed plumber and Anderson tells us he was actually scheduled to be on Larry King, but canceled. This causes me to burst out laughing, because, Anderson is making a funny, right? I mean, the dude was not seriously booked on Larry King, right? But then Anderson says this: "One out of three is not a good track record for a guy who supposedly makes his living by showing up to appointments." Oh holy hell, I think he's serious. Good lord, this election has driven us so far into Crazytown I can't even see the way out anymore.

To further break this insanity down, we're next joined by David Gergen, Paul Begala, and Alex Castellanos. I like Anderson's first question regarding the McCain embarrassment on the trail: "Compared to Obama's flawless production last night, how does something like this happen in a national campaign at this stage?" So the conventional wisdom of the press is that Obama's production was flawless? Sweet! "Oh, Anderson, do you know how hard it is to get a plumber to show up at your house on time? " replies Alex. Ha! I guess humor is all these guys have left. Paul then starts going off on unlicensed Joe, deeming his presence in the campaign a nightmare, but a great metaphor for the McCain campaign and overall Republican party. True dat.

Alex is not pleased: "It's not a nightmare. " Anderson doesn't even want to be talking about this idiot. "I can only talk about Joe the plumber for a short amount of time each night," he tells us. But Alex gets all indignant, saying Joe didn't cause the economic problems and why are we talking about him and his license and blah, blah, blah. Dude, we're talking about him because he keeps opining to everyone who will listen about everything under the sun and your candidate won't shut up about him. Anderson is so done with this though, so he transitions to a quote from Rove. Oh, well that's much better.

It seems Turd Blossom is preaching wariness of the polls. Gee, I wonder why. I hope this works out for him as well as the last time he had an opinion about polling. The Gerg thinks that Obama has a 90% chance of winning. Oh, don't get my hopes up Gerg! Alex says he thinks the, "Republican strategy of lulling the Obama campaign into complacency is working well." "Oh, you do not," says The Gerg. "No, I don't," laughs Alex. Bwah! Aw. You'd almost feel bad for them if they didn't totally deserve to be in this position. There's a bit more, but I think I'm done with the pundits for the night.

On now to Obama's live speech at Mizzou, which I watched even though I've heard it before. It's just that kind of speech. My brother actually attends Mizzou. I knew Obama was going to Columbia, but didn't know he was going to the university specifically. When it was McCain's turn for airtime, I called the bro up to see if he went. Sadly, he did not. Apparently when he got out of class, the line was crazy long (people had been lining up since the morning) and he knew he probably wouldn't get close enough to really even hear him. He also told me there was a bit of controversy, or confusion at least, about where the rally was held.

They have this big football stadium that seats about 65,000 people, but they chose to have the rally on the south quad. I asked if he thought they could have filled the stadium and he wasn't sure, but apparently Columbia is a lot more liberal than I thought. They drew a crowd of about 40,000 as it was. Anyway, then the bro and I got to talking about other stuff and I never did tune back into the show. Sorry. I'm sure McCain was riveting.

We had Kevin rocking out the webcast tonight while Ms. Hill (hopefully) enjoyed a night off. And of course my stupid computer wouldn't connect at first. Kevin blocked! Noes!!! When I finally get things up and running, our host is conversing with Bob "the bus" about his Halloween treat of choice, which would be chocolate. That fact is apparently related to the nickname. At least, that's what Kevin jokingly insinuates. Aw. Meanie. We also learn that Kevin always steals David "Lady Killer" Gergen's Starbucks. Hm, maybe that's why he's always so mellow--his caffeine is getting jacked by the stage manager. (Oh, and the nickname is spot on. We love us The Gerg.)

Finally, it's time for some ribbing of the host of this shindig, one Mr. Gun Metal Gray. When it comes to Anderson's Halloween treat of choice, it seems he can't get enough of the Zagnuts, introduced to him by our camera dude Tone Dog, who gives us the thumbs up. Tony you should totally bring that up when it comes time to ask for a raise.

Anderson tries to talk seriously about the upcoming rally coverage, but Kevin is all about the Zagnuts. Yeah, rally smally. Candy is where it's at. As for Halloween, Anderson will be working with "his peeps." Duh. But he encourages us to dress up as our favorite CNN analyst. Kevin is so ahead of him on this--he already got The Gerg to lend him his jacket. But don't forget, Kevin, you also have to act like the most reasonable man on earth. Being The Gerg is hard work.

Since it'll be Friday when most people read this, Happy Halloween!!!


Blogger Pati Mc said...

Happy Halloween Eliza!

Merci buckets for the webcast recap as I missed it. I was out, got home just in time to see the show, but no time for the "frills", yada, yada, yada.

Kevin KILLS me. I lurve him. And Bob the Bus and Tone Dog. Who dosen't want to work there? My God all of them so have my sense of humor and I get along great with "the guys". I wanna work there! That's it, I am writing my letter to Santa uber early!

Well, if Kev borrowed The Gerg's jacket, methinks the kids may in fact be dressing up. Yay to that. Yes, we know that will not include Mr. Party Pooper Cooper (Ha!) cause he has to be the "grown up". Ugh, how sad is that? Fine Anderson, sit in the corner with your Zagnut. Pffffff.....LOL.

PS: Loved your comment about The Gerg and the jacked coffee.(Shame on you Kevin!) I think you are on to something there. He is terribly calm that one. Lady Killer, indeed. *grin*

5:26 PM  

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