Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Pennsylvania, Here We Come! (Monday's Show)

Hi everybody. Happy New Week! Well, this is what we've been waiting for (at least I have). Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton's long long six weeks of essentially being all dressed up with no where to go, finally comes to an end in Pennsylvania tomorrow. It's primary time again! Anderson Cooper gives us the rundown of the last minute campaigning and we learn that the current polls are pretty tight, indicating the race will probably not end in the Keystone State. Well, it has to end before November.

Coverage begins with a Candy Crowley piece that focuses on Clinton. It seems she's got a new ad out against Obama that features a cameo from one Osama Bin Laden. You know, that guy we still haven't caught yet. The Obama camp is none too thrilled with the whiff of Rovian fear-mongering. But hey, says Clinton, if you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen. Or, you could be like my mom and just bring up a fan from the basement. Just saying. And to further confirm that there is no demographic these candidates won't court, our three contenders recently had some fun on World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE). Buh bye Billary. Hello, Hill-Rod.

For the Obama side of the coverage, we have a piece from Suzanne Malveaux that features the Junior Senator doing all things Pennsylvania. See Obama ride on a train. See Obama eat a sausage. See Obama ask a kid if he'd like a sausage. Is it just me or is this kinda absurdly hilarious? I mean, what the hell does eating sausage have to do with being president? It's like some sort of weird hazing. We make our candidates travel all over the country performing tasks that make them look and no doubt feel ridiculous, and if they survive it all, well, then they get the most important job in pretty much the whole world. Anyway, as for the race, we learn Obama is lowering expectations, but believes he'll be competitive. Also? Obama had some WWE fun too. "Do you smell what Barack is cooking?"

Moving on now to...John King's Magic Map is back! I wonder if he was getting the shakes. From John, we move on to a panel discussion with Gloria Borger, Joe Klein, and Mark Halperin. Not much here besides speculation. Anderson asks if Clinton has to win by double digits tomorrow to keep going. "I don't know," says Joe. Good answer! Also of note is that Anderson is apparently getting as sick of this punditry as I am, and proposes banning phrases such as "make or break." I would also like to include "in it to win it" and all boxing metaphors.

Later in the panel, they're watching the live feed of what's going on in Obamaland, when Teresa Heinz Kerry pops up on screen and Anderson is like, "Oh my God, there's John Kerry's wife." Obviously I'm paraphrasing, but that totally cracked me up. He just sounded so surprised. Like that one Republican debate when the camera panned over Alan Keyes and half of America jumped up and said, "Alan Keyes, WTF?!" By the way, is he still in it? Did they tell him it was over? Because literally, I saw him at that debate and then never again. A big ball of crazy, that one. Anyway, as Anderson throws out to commercial, he breaks his ban (already!) by using the phrase "make or break," which he then acknowledges with mild consternation. But that's not his fault; that was in the script. That writer's in trouuuble. Five demerits for cliched phrasing.

Next up, 360 tries to show us what's happening live with the candidates, but suddenly on one side of the screen there's a dude doing a live shot. Whoops. Apparently he's a local reporter. Well, I hope he enjoyed his three seconds on CNN. With the unpredictableness of television news careers, that might have been the only national face time he ever gets. And while I'm blogging the irrelevant, they have gotten rid of the "wa wa wa" sound normally played during "Beat 360." Apparently somebody with some power didn't like it. Does this person's name rhyme with Smanderson Looper? Anyway, they've replaced the "wa's" with people that scream and startle me. Oh yes, much better. Okay, the whole startled thing probably won't happen tomorrow. But let me get this straight, playing Warren Jeffs' seriously creepy singing all the time was apparently cool, whereas the "wa's" bug? Those crazy 360 kids.

On now to Bill Schneider, who breaks down Pennsylvania demographics and polls. We then sit down in studio with Lisa Caputo (for Clinton) and Jamal Simmons (for Obama). Lisa is confident about Clinton's overall chances because she's winning in the large states, but Jamal points out that this is a Democratic match up and just because she's winning those states now, doesn't mean Obama wouldn't in a general election. He also talks about that ad she's running with the Bin Laden appearance. Anderson wants to know why that's such a bad thing, after all, the Republicans will just do it anyway. Jamal feels the Democrats are family and you don't fight family the same way you would an enemy.

Anderson brings up the charge that Obama is whining about questions from the recent debate, but then asks if Clinton is being a hypocrite because she complained about the debates previously. Lisa totally dodges, stating Obama is on the defensive and outspending Clinton. Anderson then reminds her what the actual question was and Lisa basically replies that the New York Senator has grit. Um, what? From here, Anderson wonders why Obama can't just answer all the irrelevant debates questions (like why he won't wear the flag on his lapel) because he'll have to do it in the general anyway. I think I missed something here because the next thing I know Jamal is admitting Obama is not the best debater. Fair enough, I suppose.

Lisa then gets in there and claims that Obama was basically cheering on McCain by saying he'd be better than Bush. Jamal rightly counters this by bringing up Clinton noting McCain had passed the Commander in Chief threshold test. The panel ends with Anderson making a-pox-on-both-their-houses type diplomatic statement. Also? Dude, is it humanly possible for someone to be worse than Bush? Thinking about that could give you nightmares.

Transitioning now to a Randi Kaye piece on the newest most-important voting bloc. Hey ladies, are you single? Desire low gas prices? Enjoy excellent health care coverage? Well, the candidates are out to get your number, or more importantly, your vote. In previous elections it was the soccer moms that were the media darling demographic, but now they've been kicked to the curb to make room for single women. Hey, that's me! Apparently I am the new soccer mom, which is kind of ironic since I've actually done the whole drive-kids-to-soccer-practice thing. The perils of having younger siblings and working parents. But anyway, 25 percent of eligible voters in Pennsylvania are single women and the majority vote Democratic. So they're a bit popular these days. Soak it up now while you can, ladies. Apparently the love doesn't last. Just ask soccer moms.

Coming back from commercial, Anderson does some previewing of tomorrow's coverage with the "best political team on television." "Maybe you've heard that phrase before," he says. Just a few...thousand times. I've barely noticed. We then have some John King map speculation, followed by more panel, and then a listen in to Obama and Clinton live. Annnnd that'll do it. The show contained a lot of ultimately irrelevant speculation, but I have to say, it was a nice change of pace from all polygamy, almost all the time. Isn't it funny how a primary comes up and suddenly, poof, polygamy is gone. B-

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