Thursday, September 20, 2007

OMG, Are They Kidding Me With This Crap? (Wednesday's Show)

Hi everyone. Tonight we kick things off with the latest from Darfur. I kid! Why cover genocide or war when you have OJ Simpson 2 to tackle? It's like a bad sequel to a horror movie, and to tell the truth, I was never fond of the original. Anyway, Anderson Cooper informs us that OJ has just posted bail today through a company named, I kid you not, "You Ring We Spring Bail Bonds." Oh for the love of . . .

Okay, so we've got Jeffrey Toobin as always and we're also joined by Court TV's Jami Floyd. They discuss people I don't know nor care about. This, from Toobin caught my attention: "Well, I mean, again, we're going to have to figure out who the victim is here..." Dude, the victim is us! We have to do without any real news, while you all have an OJgasm. At some point, Ted Rowlands pops in and, oooh, he's been live in the court room. And and there's another tape! I'm clutching my pearls in anticipation. Anderson's eyes are about to roll out of his head, which, actually, would only make this situation slightly more bizarre than it is as stands.

After we're played some of the new tape, the discussion takes a comfuzzled turn. Now, I know I don't know what's going on with this case, but I'm getting the feeling no one else does either. Our little panel here seems very confused. Hey, did anyone ever consider that this might just be one big elaborate episode of "Punked"? Seriously, do we have tabs on Ashton Kutcher? What's he been doing lately?

Next we're on to a Randi Kaye piece about OJ's posse. His posse. Good lord. From there we move to an Anderson piece on what happened at that hotel. They're getting to the bottom of it, y'all! It's like the freakin Watergate.

Then we're back with Toobin and Jami. Anderson tells us he's about had his fill with this story. Good! He also reminds us that he's doped up on Theraflu, which is helping him get through it. Maybe you should provide your viewers with Theraflu. And dude, you know they make a non drowsy kind, right? And also? What are you, aiming to be Theraflu's new spokesman or something? Anyway, our little OJ gang here thinks it's hilarious that all the players in this case seem to be calling into Larry King. "Larry King's show has become, like, the epicenter for all of this," says Anderson. And you know Larry has no idea what's going on. Hell, he probably thinks it's 1994.

Moving on now, to some acknowledgment that some of us hate this crap. Anderson tells us they've been inundated with people telling them to stop the coverage. That's right! There was mutiny on the blog, baby! And yet, ratings? Rocking out. People still watch. Some of you might be thinking, "Eliza, you're one of those people." Well, I'm doing it for you! Heh. For how much longer though, I'm not sure. And for the record, I've been boycotting Countdown. Anyway, as for Anderson's comfuzzlement over the ratings being high while people are so mad, it seems to me there's two different groups of viewers. The group that's giving them their rocking ratings doesn't normally watch the news, but they tune in for OJ. The group that's angry? That's 360's loyal viewership that watch all the time. And they've just alienated us. Good job, guys!

In tonight's edition of "What Were They Thinking" Erica Hill brings us the tale of a 70 year old grandma who was arrested for not watering her lawn and resisting arrest. I know the grandma's can be pretty shady, but c'mon people. After this we're on to "Raw Politics" with Tom Foreman. First up, we learn that Giuliani has left us for London, but sadly, they won't be keeping him. He just wants their money. Typical. While he's away, has been beating on him with a new ad regarding him being AWOL from the Iraq Study Group. Speaking of ads, everybody's got one! Obama, Clinton, your candidate. Next we're shown some b-roll of Bill Richardson with a title graphic that says, "Baring it all," and I suddenly get very nervous. But it's cool. They're just referring to transparency in cabinet choices before the election. Whew. Don't scare us like that, 360.

Transitioning now to Warren Jeffs, and good God, you know it's bad when I'm happy to get some Warren Jeffs news. In a Mike Watkiss piece we hear some of the testimony of Jane Doe, the young woman forced to marry her cousin when she was only 14. She didn't want to be married to him, much less have sex with him, so this is all pretty horrible. After the piece, Gary Tuchman joins us live and says that the cousin is claiming Jane Doe instigated the sex. Well, he would, wouldn't he? Anderson wonders why this guy, Allen Steed, hasn't been charged with rape himself. Gary explains that he might be, but Jeffs is the big fish.

Next up we have a Jeanne Moos piece on the media circus surrounding OJ. A media circus? Surrounding OJ? No! The Shot tonight is pictures of OJ. Jebus, he's even infected "The Shot"! We're also shown a picture of Marcia Clark, who is looking a little different than her 1994 counterpart. Anderson says when you're on "Entertainment Tonight" you have to have a whole makeover and if he was on that show he wouldn't have forehead lines anymore. Dude, you shouldn't even be noticing that. Don't ever Botox, Anderson. Erica wants some clarification on Anderson's "Entertainment Tonight" makeover: "Really? And you would have blonde hair and boobs. I just wanted to clarify here. I just want to make sure that's what the package entails." As you might imagine, this produces some giggles from Mr. Cooper. And you know someone out there just totally photoshopped that. Stick with the gray, Cooper. It's working for you.

Okay, I'm dropping my blog voice for a moment. 360, I've been a loyal viewer for about two years now. Over that time you've often frustrated, and even angered me, but I never lost respect for you. I'm not sure I can say that anymore. I was too kind with my grade last night. F


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Boycotting Countdown? Why?

They certainly shouldn't have gone as far with the OJ stuff as they did, but I have to admit I liked Anderson's amusing discussion about it with Jeff Toobin and Jami Floyd. Since they aren't going to stop covering this stuff, they need to at least stop letting it dominate the entire show.

3:56 PM  
Blogger eliza said...

@anonymous-Only those couple days when they were doing too much OJ. The show is back to its excellent self now.

Cable news, especially 360, seems incapable of covering things in proper proportion.

1:40 AM  

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