Monday, March 15, 2010

Big Pharma Wins Again, Rielle Hunter Speaks Out, Andrew Young Interview, Yet Another Scandal Involving The Catholic Church, & Cookie Challenge!

Hi everyone. I took Friday off. Because that's how I roll. Well, let's get to it, shall we? Health care reform continues to slowly suck all life out of Washington. For the love of God, pass the bill! Anderson Cooper tells us that that passing might actually occur this week. I'm keeping my hopes grounded in reality.

A bunch of Congress peeps are then thrown up on the Big Wall--37 to be exact, and they actually won't all fit at the same time. We're told that they are the people crucial to health care reform. Okay, that was pretty irrelevant. I mean, what's the viewer supposed to do with 37 nameless faces that are only shown for a few seconds? People can't take in meaningful information like that.

We then move on to a Dana Bash piece that focuses on biologics, which are really expensive drugs. It's common practice to make a generic form of a drug to bring down costs, and the Obama camp wanted to make a path to do the same thing with these biologics. Their time frame was seven years. You probably know where this is going. Yep, Big Pharma released the lobbyists on Congress and wa lah! Seven years just became twelve.

The drug companies claim they need more time to make money because they need the money for research and development. Now would be a helpful time to inform us of the company's current profits. No? Well, how about the names of the Congress peeps who received campaign contributions from the manufacturers? No? Because we might like to know if some of them are the 37 that were previously put up on the Big Wall. Oh 360, sometimes you're so close, yet so far away.

After Dana's piece, Candy Crowley joins us to talk vote counts. I have a feeling some of that is going to change before the week is out, perhaps several times over.

Remember how John Edwards screwed around on his cancer-stricken wife with a woman who made videos for his presidential campaign, subsequently becoming a baby daddy and almost destroying the Democrats' chance at the election? Remember that? Yeah well, said woman, Rielle Hunter, just gave a big old interview to "GQ" magazine and now we're going to talk about it. Because it's news. I guess.

In a Randi Kaye piece, we learn a bunch of background stuff and details and...I could so care less. C'mon 360, aim higher. Anyway, pretty much all I have to say is that poor kid is going to need so much therapy.

Next up, Anderson has an interview with Andrew Young, the former Edwards aide, who for a while there claimed that he was actually the baby daddy. Oh, the drama! He then disses on Rielle, and again, I still don't understand why this is on CNN. Of note is the chyron that says, "Fmr. aide reponds to interview." That's right 360, stop doing trash TV or I will find all your typos! Be afraid.

To talk about this even further (even further!), we're joined by Mark Halperin, author of that hideous book "Game Change." Okay, at this point they're just messing with me, right? Anderson and Mark start talking about how Edwards picked Hunter up and we get this from our anchor: "I mean, he's literally, like, kind of growling across the room to her, like, come closer to me, baby, kind of stuff." I think I just threw up in my mouth a little.

I don't know about you, but I feel dirty. Lucky for us, we're moving on to a Gary Tuchman piece. Unlucky for us, the piece is about pedophilia. Yay? If you guessed that our location is the Catholic Church, you win the prize! This is a two-parter, people, so buckle up. Chicago priest Chester Przybylo is well-liked by his parishioners, but in 2006 he was accused of molesting an alter boy 20 years prior.

The Department of Family Services checked it out and found no evidence the charges were true. Przybylo then actually posted the findings on the church door, which, uh, is pretty weird. The former alter boy, Peter Galica, then 13, remains adamant that he was molested. And he's not alone. Paul Gil, another former alter boy accuses Przybylo of molestation as well. The priest denies it all and tries to dismiss it away.

Funny thing is, though Przybylo's church is now independent (the archdiocese kicked him out when the allegations first occurred), the Catholic church has chosen to settle Peter Galica's molestation lawsuit to the tune of more than $1.3 million. Strange thing to do if the accused is innocent. But we all know how excellent that church is at sweeping things under the rug. And sweeping they did!

CNN got their hands on a whole mess of paperwork that show other priests thought Przybylo was a child molester. One even saw Peter in his underwear in the priest's room. The excuse? Oh, maybe he had short pants on. You gotta be kidding me. Przybylo actually does admit to Gary that he had boys in his room. To watch TV. Uh huh. Another priest says Przybylo tried to proposition him. The excuse this time? The priest was drunk.

Then there's the accusation that he struck children. Gary asks point blank if that's true. "I went in there to just, yes, hit them a little bit," says Przybylo. A little bit? WTF? Gary asks what that means. "Just a little whack or something. You know," says the priest. No, no, I don't think Gary does know. Anyway, now the church is saying that they believe molestation actually did occur. Przybylo, for his part, claims conspiracy (naturally) and even says one of the church leaders is senile. Wow, drunks, senile leaders. This is all quite convenient.

Yeah, Gary's all over this BS: "Why is everyone out to get Father Chester?" he asks Przybylo. I'm sure you all realize by now his answer doesn't even matter. What matters is that he broke two boys (at least) who have both tried to kill themselves over the years. And yet the guy still preaches to a congregation of parishioners who seem to be a-okay with their pedophile pastor, while the church as a whole tries to pay his crimes away. Hard to imagine why some people find religion hypocritical.

For "the shot" tonight we have a cookie challenge, but I think I'm going to have to back things up a bit. See, on Friday, the Silver Fox did his semi-regular gig as a guest co-host on Regis and Kelly. Guy Fieri from the new show called "Minute to Win It," was on (which I'm sorry, looks like another example of popular culture reaching for the gutter) and Anderson and Kelly played the Face the Cookie challenge (Watch here!).

I guess I just don't get it because to me at one point our anchor looked like a pirate having a seizure. Not pretty. And I don't think I've ever used that phrase to describe the Silver Fox. Anyway! They invited all the viewers to send in videos of themselves playing. Oh yes, I very much want to look like an idiot on national television. Where do I sign up? Yeah...I'm guessing they didn't get many submissions.

Back up plan: get the crew to do it! Enter Bob Angle and Seth Greenspan. Sixty seconds go on the clock and it's all a little painful to watch. That was a long 60 seconds. Bob emerges victorious. Yay Bob! Candy Crowley has been with us the whole time. Her assessment? "And I'd just like to say, I may have laughed, but it was really stupid, OK?" Sing it, sister!

Look, I like a little silliness now and then, but when a good portion of the show has already been pretty bad, this kind of stuff just emphasizes the suck. I guess what I'm saying is, no cookies for 360 when they've been bad! Okay, Gary's team can have a cookie because they brought us a big investigative report. But all that Edwards crap (that I know we only got stuck with because Anderson and others are all fascinated) that's really neither here no there when it comes to actual newsiness? No cookie for that!

But let's leave on a good note. On Friday, Anderson also participated in Regis and Kelly's inbox segment and it was hilariously adorable. Best line goes to the Silver Fox: "Sweetie, that's the last place I'd look." Bwah! Stop reminding us! Second best line goes to Kelly: "This is the happiest I've ever been!" Well, who can blame her?! (Um, sorry Mark?) Hilarious.

So...not much more to say. I guess try again tomorrow, 360. Maybe they'll get some ratings off the Young interview, but it's no way to build a loyal viewership.

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Blogger Anne said...

Hi Eliza,

I laughed at your description of the coookie challenge, expecially how AC looked like a pirate having a seizure. I agree with Candy on watching the crew's challenge. After the stories on Przybylo and the Hunter woman, you feel a shower is needed. Anne D.

7:55 PM  

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