Wednesday, July 30, 2008

McCain Growing Desperate, Oil Exploration Legislation, Hillary Clinton, Ted Stevens Profile, CA Quake, And A Child Abduction

Hi everybody. It looks like we will be sans Anderson Cooper for the rest of the week if not longer. Campbell Brown continues to keep his seat warm and we kick things off with a new ad from John McCain. Remember how yesterday we learned he was trying to connect Obama to Pelosi and Reid? Well, now he's trying to connect Obama to . . . Paris Hilton and Britney Spears? What? Apparently the McCain camp wants to paint Obama as arrogant with no substance, but as we learn from Campbell, polling shows that both candidates are in a statistical tie when it comes to the arrogance issue. So, wow, that ad almost makes me feel sorry for McCain because he's hitting a whole new level of pathetic.

A Dana Bash piece explores the ad further and we get clips from Obama wondering why McCain can't seem to stop talking about him. Also? Seeing as though Americans tend to take things in viscerally, I'd like to thank McCain for helping to spread the news that huge crowds of people adore Barack Obama. Keep it up!

We then move on to the inevitable "Strategy Session," with David Gergen, Tara Wall, and Roland Martin occupying the panel seats. Really the only thing of note is The Gerg, who clearly has a lot of respect for the "maverick," going off on the ad and the McCain campaign. "Give me a break," he says. Aw, he looks so sad. Damn you John McCain, you broke The Gerg's spirit!

Next up, we've got a Joe Johns piece that tackles Congress and how they're probably not going to do anything about gas prices before they skip town. Shocker. Although actually, I kind of agree with this because the legislation that Bush wants passed is to open up offshore drilling. I don't get it. If you're going to treat a drug addict, your objective is to get them off drugs, not help them find ways to get a quick fix. Well, actually not so quick, seeing as though opening up offshore drilling won't make any difference for years if that. Not to mention the fact that there's no guarantee the oil companies would actually choose to explore any area they bought up. High gas prices are here to stay. This piece is followed by, of course, a panel.

Moving on now to a Suzanne Malveaux piece that updates us on what's going on with Hillary Clinton since all that speculation of a VP spot. We learn that she's scheduled to speak at the convention, but the idea of a "Dream Team" seems to be disappearing. You know, at this point I don't want Clinton to be VP mostly because I don't think I'd be able to stand that press coverage.

On now to a Joe Johns profile piece on Ted Stevens about how he's a "mean, miserable, SOB." Uh, Stevens, not Joe. And those aren't even my insults this time--they come from the mouth of the crazy Alaskan himself. So okay, we learn that Stevens is so old that he actually helped Alaska become a state. Seriously. And since that time he's done nothing but funnel your money there--$3.2 billion over the last four years alone. We also get to see the unintentionally hilarious clip of Stevens after his legislation to open up ANWR to drilling failed. "This has been the saddest day of my life. I say good- bye to the Senate tonight. Thank you very much," he says. Just wow. I remember when that happened the first thought that popped into my head was, "is that a promise?" Unfortunately, it was only a threat to take his ball and go home. Also, "the saddest day" of his life? Ted Stevens must have been having the best life ever!

Transitioning now to a Ted Rowlands piece on the California quake. Again there's talk of the inevitable "big one" and as soon as Ted says those words, like a lightening bolt from God, my power goes out. So, uh, bye Ted. And there wasn't even a storm. From now on, if 360 is getting interrupted, it better be because I'm in mortal danger. Stupid Ameren. Anyway, when my house lights back up, "the terminator" is on talking about infrastructure. I think it's great they're bringing up this subject, but man, that accent. It's just hard to be serious, you know? Campbell has a special on infrastructure on Friday (I think) and I'm hoping to not be disappointed with something surfacy. Will Stephen Flynn make an appearance? We shall see.

From here we move to a Gary Tuchman piece about a custodial child abduction. I was under the impression those kind of kidnappings happened a lot, so I guess the angle here is that the alleged kidnapper is a Rockefeller, though the family spokesperson says, "He ain't one." You'd think a spokesperson might be a bit more eloquent, but I suppose that's neither here nor there. Anyway, cute kid. I hope she's okay.

The show winds down with "Beat 360" and I'm going to have to go with Campbell here, that sound effect is painful. Seriously. "The Shot" is a kitty with the Shroud of Turin on its fur. Well, sort of. Actually, not really. I don't see it. Man, my animals never have deities in their fur. Slackers. Gary then raises Campbell a video of "Princess Chunky," one of the fattest cats ever. Suddenly I feel bad for calling my cat fat. He's got a complex now, but it hasn't altered his very busy schedule of sleeping 20 hours a day. That'll do it.


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