Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Clinton Fib, Carville Mad, New Pastor Mess, McCain Party Affiliation, Iraq Myths, And Murdered Millionaire (Monday's Show)

Hi everybody. Happy New Week! We're kicking things off with the BREAKING NEWS that Hillary Clinton is now admitting her story of dodging sniper fire in Bosnia in 1996 might actually be closer to truthiness, than truthful. Apparently she got the year and country right, but that whole running from sniper fire thing? Yeah, not so much. Clinton is now claiming she "misspoke," because, well, there's a video, and film don't lie, people. We're first shown the current clip of Clinton relaying the "dangerous" ordeal and then we get video from the actual trip, with Anderson Cooper narrating the lack of danger. She even had a child read her a poem on the tarmac. Oh the humanity!

Anderson tells us that Sheryl Crow and the comedian Sinbad (what happened to him?) were also on the trip, so you can tell how dangerous it must have been. Clinton also claims that she remembers she was told there was sniper fire, but couldn't not stop for the little girl. Mmkay. Maybe I'm just way more of a wimp than Clinton, but if I was ever in a situation that involved sniper fire, I think my memory of the event would be pretty damn clear. Adrenaline has a way of keeping your memories minty fresh. The thing I'm trying to understand is why any of this matters. Does dodging sniper fire equal presidential experience? Dude, if that's the case we could be getting Bush some actual experience and keep Cheney busy all at the same time.

For discussion of this, we're joined by Jeffrey Toobin, Candy Crowley, and Joe Klein. Candy's confused as to why Clinton ever told the story in the first place. " I don't understand these candidates sometimes," she says. I think poor Candy has about hit her campaign breaking point. You know she's only about one more out-of-control surrogate away from screaming, "What is wrong with these people?!" Toobin brings up what many have been saying all along, which is the question of how exactly being first lady translates to experience. Joe tells us that he actually had dinner with someone on the plane. "Sinbad?" Anderson asks. Ha! You know he wants a Sinbad exclusive. Er, just so we're clear, I'm joking. Actually booking Sinbad would be total shark-jumping. Seeing as though there was a former pimp in the studio mere weeks ago, one can never assume the 360 kids will always operate in the realm of sanity.

Anyhoo, Joe thinks this is all much ado about nothing. But Anderson points out there's a history with Clinton involving other fibs, though he doesn't use the word "fibs." Joe reiterates that this is all very much unlike her. Hm, yet curiously, she seems to keep doing it. Toobin thinks they'd really like to talk about the differences between the candidates on issues, but since there really aren't any, they're focusing more on this shallow stuff. Ha ha. Puhlease. Toobin, that's total bull and you know it. Poor media. They just want to focus on the issues, but the situation won't allow it. I'm playing my tiny violin for them right now. Whatever. We know you guys live and die for the horse race and only touch the issues when you absolutely have to. So, uh, if lack of differences is what's holding you all back, what was the problem in 2006? 2004? 2002? 2000? Should I go on? There are massive differences between John McCain and both democratic candidates. So I guess I can expect my news to be full of coverage on the issues? Riight. And next I'm going to win the Power Ball.

Moving on now to a Jim Acosta piece on how the Obama and Clinton campaigns hate each other. The latest spat started when Bill Clinton made this comment about how it would be great to have a general election between two people that love the country, leaving Obama supporters to ask, "What the hell is that supposed to mean?" This led to one of those Obama supporters accusing Clinton of McCarthyism. Because that's not overblown rhetoric or anything. But not to be outdone, Clintonite James Carville responded to Bill Richardson's endorsement of Obama by calling him Judas. On Easter weekend. So wait, does that make Hillary, Jesus? Funny how it's the Clinton supporters that accuse the Obama supporters of acting like their candidate walks on water. This is all so ridiculous. Can someone call both candidates "Hitler" and get it over with please? Because that's where this will eventually progress, right? There's no where to go after Hitler.

Next up, we have an interview with James Carville to speak about his comments, I guess. I don't know why anything he says is more relevant than anything any average Joe says. I mean, say what you want about the Republicans (and I do), but at least their advisers and strategists know what they're doing and know how to win. Sure, the Democrats won in 2006, but that's because people were voting against the Republicans. These Democratic strategists are consistently wrong and consistently lose, yet interestingly enough, remain consistently employed. Carville's the guy who literally smashed an egg on his face after the 2004 election. Lovely. Anyway, in the present, he tells us he stands by his Judas quote because he thinks what Richardson did was particularly disloyal. He then hedges a bit, leading Anderson and viewers to assume he's alluding to other things, but Carville just says he's not of the Washington world and thinks loyalty should count for something. "Dude, aren't you Mr. Washington?" asks Anderson. Duuude. Yeah bro, what's up with that? You gotta love the unpredictability of what comes out of Anderson's mouth. Anyway, there's a whole lot more interview, but I really can't top the "dude," so we're ending here.

In tonight's "What Were They Thinking?" it's bridezillas! Actually, it's the tradition of women turning into running, sniping, animals, all in the name of a cheap wedding dress at Filene's Basement. And you couldn't pay me to do it. But Erica Hill tells us she did it once. Oh, I bet she took out a couple of people that got in her way. Remember, she's got that lobster-killing mean streak in her.

Transitioning now to a new Obama sorta controversy. But first we learn he's on vacation in the U.S. Virgin Islands and we're shown some creepy video of him. Seriously, it looks like somebody hid out in the bushes and shot that. If that's paparazzi video, shame on 360 for airing it. Okay, so while Obama is relaxing in the sun, his new pastor compared the whole Reverend Wright controversy to being crucified. Ruh roh. So here we go again, I guess. But do we really need to? I'm white. I'm a Christian. Yet I'm having trouble trying to muster up some offense here. Back with our panel, Joe tells us the preaching we just heard is hard on white ears. My poor innocent ears! They're bleeding, I tell you! Whatever. They then move on to talk about the election and pretty much have the same conversation that we've been having over and over regarding who can win. But there's a little bit of disagreement here. Toobin thinks Clinton still has a shot, but Joe and Candy pretty much don't, though they admit they don't know what's going to happen. "We've all been so good at predicting what's going to be happening in this race," says Anderson. Yeah, gold stars all around.

On now to a Joe Johns piece about how McCain almost became a democrat. Gasp! Of course, he's wishing that little fact from his past would go away right about now because he needs to assert his conservative republican cred. And democrats apparently have cooties. He can't play with them. I say the republicans take Lieberman and the democrats get McCain. And if the party of the donkey can't win the election when all three candidates are democrats, well, then I just give up.

Next up, we learn the very sad news that the fifth anniversary of the Iraq War has brought with it the horrible milestone of 4,000 dead troops. For discussion on Iraq, we're joined by Peter Bergen. We were also supposed to be joined by Michael Ware, but are apparently being thwarted by technology. Stupid technical difficulties. We need our crazy and smart Aussie! But we love Peter too. So anyway, Anderson brings up the very flawed fly paper theory--you know, we're fighting them over there, so we don't have to fight them here. Peter points out the problem with this theory is that it assumes a finite group of enemies, which simply isn't the case (which is something he explored in a study published in Mother Jones). Somebody might want to tell McCain that since he's still currently spouting this garbage. Anderson then notes the false belief of a link between Iraq and Al Qaeda. Peter tells us that there was just an assessment released that found no link and this is the same thing found by the 9/11 Commission and Senate Intelligence Agency.

If you're wondering why you didn't hear about the latest assessment, well, upon learning of the findings, the Pentagon decided it wouldn't make it available online (as previously planned) and would only mail copies to reporters. Of course, only if they asked for it specifically. Don't like the results, just don't tell anyone! Next, Anderson asks if Al Qaeda is more powerful now than any time since 9/11. Peter does not think it's at a 9/10 level, but they've definitely regrouped and that's thanks to Iraq. But according to Bush, Iraq has made us safer. Don't think about it too hard. Anderson also points out that these terrorists aren't just hiding out in caves. Nope, says Peter, they're attacking inside Pakistan. This was a really good conversation. Anderson set up the myths/issues and Peter knocked them down. Wam, bam, thank you ma'am.

Suddenly we have Candy Crowley back again for more discussion. Okay. I guess they're trying to catch some of those viewers just flipping by. Whatever. Nothing of note here except for when Anderson asks her if she reads anything into Obama being on vacation. She does not. Actually, she just thinks he's tired. I think Candy is tired herself. "In all, it's just a stupid question. Sorry. You gave it your best shot," says Anderson. "But it was just a dumb question." Aw. Anderson, your questions are never dumb; they're just sometimes irrelevant. Heh. Seriously though, I think our media friends are running out of things to talk about.

The last piece of the night is from Randi Kaye and it's on a millionaire murder. But, uh, I don't care much, so I'm skipping. Good placement in the broadcast though. The former widely inconsistent 360 would have had that puppy as the lead. Of course, once these manna from heaven political ratings go away they might go back to that crap. Hey, did I miss The Shot tonight? Weird. The show was okay. Great segment with Peter, but the political coverage is just getting annoying because none of these stupid nitpicky things matter. B-


Blogger Anne said...

Hi Eliza,

Your blogs are so thorough, if one misses a show, it’s o.k. I watched some of this show. I read last week about the Hillary trip with Sinbad. I cracked up when Anderson said, “dude” to Carville. Carville dude is digging in his heels like Geraldine Ferraro, they are not sorry for what they said. Maybe they should take their act on the road together. Have you seen Jon Stewart’s skit about “you’re not helping”? The Judas bit by Carville should make its way there. One blogger noted that if Obama should win, both Carville and his wife would be Washington outsiders. I think that there is something to that, maybe that’s why Carville reacted the way he did to Richardson’s decision. The primary voting in the other states can’t come soon enough. I am tired as Candy seems to be of it. I agree with you that the news people seem to running out of things to say. So many stories out there are not getting covered. If you didn’t watch Bill Moyer’s interview with Phil Donahue regarding his documentary, Body of War, please do. The interview shows clips of a young man, Tomas Young, who was disabled in the Iraq war. He overcomes so much to become an anti-war activist. The clips shown of congress members blindly following Bush into war are very upsetting. As long as religious leaders like Hagee, Falwell, Robertson, Dobson, etc. are accepted and are chased by politicians for endorsements, I am not bothered by what one lone, retired preacher says.


6:42 AM  

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