Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Missionaries Released, Charlie Crist Labeled A RINO, Taliban Talk, Jean-Bertrand Aristide Profile, And Troll Foot

Hi everyone. Tonight we have Wolf Blitzer holding down the fort for Anderson Cooper. The Silver Fox should know he is not allowed to suddenly be gone in the middle of the week. It's too confusing. Now I'm going to keep thinking it's Friday, and it is sadly not Friday. Anyway, BREAKING NEWS!!! Oh yeah, we got the big graphic and sound effect and everything.

So what's the what? Eight of those ten American missionaries are being released from Haiti. Okay, once again, that is not breaking news. Yes, it's news, but we learned about it hours ago. It's not breaking anymore, it's broken. Why does CNN insist on making that graphic irrelevant? But back to that news, we've got David McKenzie at the Port-au-Prince airport where the Americans were just flown out by the military.

Then we go to John Vause for more details, and he basically recaps everything we already know. Plus, we learn that while eight of the missionaries were allowed to leave after promising they'd return if asked, Laura Silsby and Charisa Coulter are still in custody because the judge is trying to determine if there was criminal intent. I'm glad the eight got to leave. I hope the other two are held accountable if they were in fact up to something shady, which it kinda sounds like they were.

Transitioning now to a Randi Kaye piece on Charlie Crist and how he's just been slapped with the dreaded RINO label (republican in name only). Long story short? Once again, someone from the Far Right (in this case, Marco Rubio) has come out of nowhere to leave a moderate Republican shaking in their boots. Both men are battling it out for Florida's senate seat.

Rubio is dazzling the tea party set with his Real American upbringing and his ability to speak in slogans. But don't be fooled. While I'm sure he's hoping to paint himself as a young-in coming to shakeup the system, in reality he's grabbing points by bashing the stimulus, all the while admitting he would have taken the money as well. Ah, hypocrisy. Yep, he's a Republican.

Now, to make your eyes bleed, we have the Wolfbot discussing this stuff with John Avlon. Ugh. At some point the election is going to heat up enough that I'll be forced to pay attention to segments like this one so I can counteract all the BS, but thank God that day is not today. I actually flipped over to MSNBC to see what Keith had going on. Gearing up for a special comment. How original. Le sigh.

On now to David Gergen giving us some of his insider-y insiderness related to what's going on with the fight against the Taliban. Turns out? The administration is rather optimistic. Okay, I don't want to dismiss the Gerg's perspective, but how do we know he's not being manipulated to tell us what the administration wants us to hear? Doesn't CNN have boots on the ground in the region to give us more of an independent perspective? At least to accompany what the Gerg is saying? Can we get a little Michael Ware up in here, yo?

Next up, we have a Randi Kaye piece that explores Jean-Bertrand Aristide's role in turning Haiti into what it is today. He was the first democratically-elected president and had a lot of nice dreams for the country, but critics say he stole money and armed street thugs to battle political opponents. Aristide's lawyer claims the charges are all just a disinformation campaign.

Due to epic laziness tonight, that's as in-depth as I'm going with this piece. It was pretty thorough, though I would quibble that there should have been more elaboration regarding the 2004 coup. This is what Randi's voice over says: "President George W. Bush's administration supplied the plane to hustle Aristide out of his country in the middle of the night. He's been living in exile and teaching in South Africa ever since." Aristide actually accused the U.S. of being behind his ousting, a charge the U.S. denied.

Tom Foreman has a piece on Amy Bishop, but I never really followed this story closely in the first place, so pass.

Then we're on to John Zarrella staking out the Miami airport, waiting for the missionaries. Duude. I guess this is going to be, like, a thing now. I should have realized this before. I mean, is there anyone out there who really needs to see or hear from these people as soon as they step off the plane? I'm sure we can all wait for the big Larry King interview (oh, you know it's coming!). But this is the cable news game...and why so many people hate it.

The "shot" tonight is troll foot! This probably requires a little bit of explanation, huh? Apparently, Danny DeVito has been taking pictures of his bare foot all over the place, like it's a friggin' traveling gnome. Remember how I said Blitzer was holding down the fort for our anchor? Well, epic fail! Yes, that would be the Silver Fox's office, obviously unguarded by the Wolfbot.

"This is the kind of thing that goes on when you're away," says our guest anchor to the absent Anderson, who is no doubt currently grimacing in horror at the toes perilously close to his keyboard. Or not. Didn't they do a report years back where they found out that Anderson's office was crazy disgusting when it comes to germs? Oh, also? DeVito did his anchor desk too. Strangely enough, all this just makes me want to watch It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.

You've might have already guessed, but I found the show tonight to be just meh. I'll admit, I was fairly bored. Maybe it was partly me. I really hope they're not going to go crazy with this missionary thing now, especially when it seems to be in place of other Haiti news. Isn't that exactly what Anderson spoke out against? Obviously we all want the facts reported, but no more staking out airports, mmkay? That'll do it.

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Anonymous Sammy said...

I caught a field report of AC on American Morning yesterday and somehow figured out that he'll not be at the anchor chair for his show. Still disappointed to see Wolf, though. It's so awkward to watch him tries to be funny. The election coverage is going to be hell this year isn't it? Bring back the 3D pie chart.

Incidentally, I also switched to MSNBC and saw KO's short comment, again. Where is the awesome guy that geeked out about baseball car, the day before? I want that Keith back. This righteous indignation Keith is just too much to handle 3times/day.

1:34 PM  
Blogger eliza said...

@Sammy: The Wolfbot has somewhat grown on me over the years. Couple his monotone with some of the political coverage though and it can get a little boring.

The election coverage probably won't be any worse this year than year's past--it's just that it always seems to suck (and I'm referring to all television news). I suppose it's unfair to lump it all in together. Some of it can be good. I just really hate that the horse race always dominates over actual factual information.

I for one am getting by just fine without CNN's technological bells and whistles. I think the 3D pie chart was a pretty embarrassing moment for Anderson. lol

Keith has become a parody of himself. His original special comment was extremely powerful, but then he went on to break his own rules by doing them all the time. Dumb move. Now it feels like he's just performing.

5:52 PM  

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